Browsing through our many Sky channels, desperately searching for the Holy Grail that is a programme worth watching, I saw a film titled Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! The blurb stated, “Titillating Horror with a cast chock-full of hot girls. When an experiment goes awry a horde of flesh hungry Zombies go on the rampage and face-off against some tasty Strippers! Strippers! Strippers!” With a description like that I had to watch it!
Before the film even started I knew what I was getting; a cheap film with a porn-star cast and some dodgy zombies. I wasn’t disappointed and what followed was some enjoyable nonsense.
The plot involves a “scientist” that is trying to find a cure for cancer who inadvertently makes a kind of zombie contagion. Cue the fat, nerdy stoner who nicks the stuff thinking its crack. Needless to say the “crack” gets spread around and pretty soon you get that horde of zombies who happen to attack a strip joint! Who will survive? Who gets to wield the chainsaw? Well you’ll have to watch if you want to find out!
The acting is so shockingly bad it is hilarious, I mean laugh out loud funny. I loved it for its lame charm but proper film fans would probably find it excruciating. Lines are delivered with no believability and some of the facial expressions are so hammy. A lot of the actors/actresses are from porn or low budget horror backgrounds. None stand out; they were all fairly lame. I was interested to see one of the strippers had been an extra in CSI Miami.
The special effects were gory but obviously low budget. There were some great moments, (a zombie getting their face cut off, a zombie walking around with a stiletto in the head etc), which were truly funny. Think fake blood and lots of cat-away action and you won’t be far off.
Now you can’t have a film with strippers and not have any boobies on show and this film doesn’t disappoint. You have tiny boobs, huge boobs and dodgy fake boobs so what-ever your poison you’ll find at least one pair to float your boat. (If you don’t like boobs, don’t watch this film).
All the stereotypes are catered for too; you have the mean blonde, bright ethnic chick, dippy blonde, angry pimp, geeky stoner, the caring brunette, sleazy club owner oh and the guy that gets bitten and turns on his friends! For me this adds to my enjoyment of the film but again serious film fans may find it annoying.
There are loads of great quotes in the film, (the script is painful), and my favourite two are:
Vegas, (The Pimp): “This s!*t don’t look safe” Lucas, (The Geeky Stoner): It’s crack rock; it ain’t supposed to be safe”
Vegas: “They ain’t crack wh*res; them crack wh*res zombies”!
Actually thinking about it Vegas is my favourite and there do seem to be a lot of people with place names as Christian names such as Dakota, Vegas and Dallas. It all adds to the ham I suppose.
If you’d like to find out more the film has an official website, www.zombieszombieszombies.com.
I loved this film for its pure badness and if you like that sort of thing then check out but if you’re easily offended by boobies or bad acting then steer clear!
Thanks for reading.
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