X-Men - The Last Stand (Special Edition) (DVD)

...known I am a complete X-men geek. But, manga addiction and recent interest in Alan Moore aside, not a comic book geek – I hated oh-so-perfect Superman, was bored by Spiderman and had a passing interest in Batman only because the bad guys were so awesome. But like millions of other young teenagers, I felt different, alienated, and wished it were more obvious that I wasn’t like everyone else, and thus, like millions of teenagers, X-men really resonated ...
...to this one saturated in canon lore, but also (like most fans, I would hope) ready to accept that the films will make big changes to the comics: after all, there have been so many alternate universes and reimaginings of the Marvel Universe that a slightly altered version shouldn’t shock anyone.

Being a fanboy, I got all the little in-jokes. I realised that man amazed by flying cars was Stan Lee. I understood why we saw the number 198 ... more

Let it be known I am a complete X-men geek. But, manga addiction and recent interest in Alan Moore aside, not a comic book geek – I hated oh-so-perfect Superman, was bored by Spiderman and had a passing interest in Batman only because the bad guys were so awesome. But like millions of other young teenagers, I felt different, alienated, and wished it were more obvious that I wasn’t like everyone else, and thus, like millions of teenagers, X-men really resonated with me. So as with the previous movies, I came to this one saturated in canon lore, but also (like most fans, I would hope) ready to accept that the films will make big changes to the comics: after all, there have been so many alternate universes and reimaginings of the Marvel Universe that a slightly altered version shouldn’t shock anyone.

Being a fanboy, I got all the little in-jokes. I realised that man amazed by flying cars was Stan Lee. I understood why we saw the number 198 prominently. I smiled with glee at the fastball special against the sentinel. I even got the ‘I’m the Juggernaut, b****!’ joke. But while I felt that the writers certainly knew what they were doing, and pandered to the fans somewhat, it seemed strange that the plot was so ropey when there was so much strong canon material to draw from. Not that it was a bad film – it was great fun! – but it had its flaws.

The change in director didn’t make much difference, except perhaps a slight shift away from the highlighting of the mutant-homosexual parallel, despite bizarrely unnecessary comments about hairstyles. The action was just as frenetic, the scale just as massive, the characters just as sleek and cool. And the plot wasn’t bad, either. Functional, at least.

As hinted at the end of X2, Phoenix has a significant role in the movie, one closer to the original story from the comics (which is a good thing – the interplanetary Dark Phoenix saga, with Phoenix being an independent entity, has always been one of my least favourite parts of the canon. So cheesy…). However, the main plot revolves around a government agency who, thanks to a drug whose crucial elements are extracted from power-sapping mutant Leech (a pretty bald boy in the film, rather than a hideous green creature), have developed a ‘cure’ for mutants, making them normal people again. While to some, this means a moral dilemma (as with Rogue, who cannot touch the ones she loves), to others (like Magneto) it is a threat to mutantkind, which must be eliminated.

These two major plot points don’t sit well together, meaning the scenes with Phoenix feel very much tacked-on and superfluous. The two plots, while concurrent and coming together in the climax, are pretty much mutually exclusive and could be disentangled with very little difficulty. So the problem is that the writers try to squeeze two films into one. This leaves some parts totally underdeveloped, such as Cyclops’ fate, the Rogue/Iceman/Shadowcat love triangle and Beast’s story. And unlike the other films, there just aren’t enough character moments for any of them to feel real, except for Wolverine and the two patriarchs. All the other good guys are pretty much ignored. Storm (at Halle Berry’s insistence) gets more screen time, but is totally pointless (her grand gesture in the final confrontation is to summon up some fog. Great.). But at least they aren’t just rubbish, like the new bad guys. The Marvel universe is full of great bad guys – why use the likes of Multiple Man and Arclight, especially when they do nothing but stand around looking useless? I suppose it’s to avoid what happened with Juggernaut: a legendary character, utterly shat upon.

Seriously, Juggernaut is an iconic character, a well-loved antihero. So where did it go wrong? Well, firstly with the casting. Vinnie Jones, for heaven’s sake? Why make him British, when you’re going to make no mention of his relation to Xavier? Even then, why cast someone who can’t act to save his life, and is totally wrong for this kind of film? And most of all, why put him in a costume of prosthetic muscle and tin that looks like his mum made it? Pants!

As they often do in melodramas, the British acting royalty steal the show. Patrick Stewart’s Xavier is the only one who gets any additional depth in this movie (being more morally dubious); just a shame I didn’t stay until after the credits, as apparently I should’ve. Ian McKellen’s Magneto is superbly merciless and yet sympathetic; I still think he’s miscast, but his version of the character is still excellent fun, and the scene with the Golden Gate Bridge is genius, in performance as well as in concept.

The SFX-laden fight scenes were undoubtedly impressive, but they weren’t quite as imaginative nor as focussed as I would have liked, and I found myself wishing repeatedly for just a little more story. 

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