Van Helsing DVD > Reviews > Van for the Money

Author's product rating:   

Did you enjoy it?	Loved it
Story	Good
Characters / Performances	Good
Special Effects	Standard
How does it compare to similar films?	Outstanding

Advantages:	Tremendous fun that doesn't take itself seriously
Disadvantages:	Shoddy CGI in places, more plot holes than a colander

Recommend to potential buyers:

yes

Full review

Gabriel Van Helsing is a Vatican-sponsored monster hunter sent to Transylvania to aid the Valerios family’s quest to destroy the evil Count Dracula. Once there, Van Helsing discovers Dracula’s nefarious plot to take over the world. The question is, can he save the world and get the girl when he has vampires, werewolves and Frankenstein’s monster to deal with too?

Director Stephen Sommers brought us the hugely enjoyable “Mummy” movies and here he plunders Universal Pictures’ back-catalogue for a tale that incorporates all of the studio’s best-loved monsters. Sommers isn’t known for his subtlety and this film is no different. It is chock-full of big action set-pieces, dashing heroes and occasionally dodgy special effects. But it is a rollicking good Saturday matinee movie with enough thrills and spills to keep you cheering the heroes on and hissing the baddies for the full two-hour running time. It has its tongue firmly in cheek when required, with plenty of amusing asides and comedy characters to keep your funny bone tickled.

The film begins like a traditional Universal creature feature in atmospheric black and white, with Frankenstein trying to bring his creature to life while the villagers advance on the castle with pitchforks and blazing torches. There’s even the cry of “It’s alive!” and plenty of Van der Graaf generators humming away in the background. It’s a nice back story for one of the star monsters that segues into the film’s present where we walk in on Van Helsing finishing off an assignment (à la Indiana Jones) and Dr Jekyll’s other half. It’s a worthy introduction to the man in the hat, with Hugh Jackman proving himself a rugged and convincing hero with fuzzy morals. We’re treated to a far more impressive Mr Hyde than the rubbish rubber-suited affair from “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” and the fact that it’s voiced by Robbie Coltrane adds to the quality feel of the film. It’s a great introduction to world of the characters and a possible franchise. But it doesn’t stop there. There is the multi-faith order hidden beneath the Vatican who help Van Helsing in his quest to capture or kill all of the monsters the world has to offer. So there are tons of innovative gadgets and gizmos Bond would be envious of. There are the Dracula’s brides; the winged harpies who delight in taunting Anna Valerios and her clan. There is the spectacle of Dracula’s castle and plenty of sweeping vistas to please the eye, not to mention carriage chases and the odd flying cow. There’s hardly a dull moment. So if you like your blockbusters big and loud with plenty of stunts and CGI, this will be right up your alley.

Hugh Jackman came from nowhere to establish himself as one of Hollywood’s top leading men. Here he solidifies his position with another top-drawer action man role. For a man so pretty in real life, it seems odd that he’s so often cast as the rugged vagabond. But he does a good job of it. All those years in musicals have made him nimble and strong and he’s no slouch when it comes to fight scenes and action sequences, of which there are plenty. But he has big enough acting chops to get away with a bit of romance without it feeling forced. He’s no vacant Arnie-alike; you can see the cogs turning behind the eyes and that’s what makes him a sympathetic lead. Throw in a murky past for the immortal hero and Bob’s your uncle; you have a crowd-pleasing franchise starter. The only disappointment was his bizarre English accent.

Kate Beckinsale is usually box office poison; look at “Pearl Harbour”, “Underworld” and “The Haunting”. Thankfully this film isn’t reliant on her character. Anna Valerios is the last of a clan that’s been fighting Dracula for centuries and she’s not scared of getting her hands dirty, as her werewolf hunt shows. The character is feisty and likeable enough but she’s too much like the Rachel Weisz character in the Mummy films and it feels like Van Helsing has one sidekick too many most of the time. That’s not to say Beckinsale does a bad job; she’s entirely suited to the role, looks like she relishes the action sequences and manages to pout in all the right places. It’s a little unbelievable that she’d go out looking for trouble in an unfeasibly tight corset and leather trousers. I can only imagine how much they’d chafe. It seems a bit odd that her hair and make-up are always perfect, but that’s one of the perks of being a star. But I can’t complain that Sommers has left the women to sit on the sidelines batting their eyelashes and screaming for help. Let me put it this way – if I was up against hordes of vampires, I’d want Valerios on my side.

David Wenham is better known as Faramir from “The Lord of the Rings”. Here he plays Van Helsing’s comedy sidekick Carl, a Q-like friar with a flair for inventing handy gadgets without necessarily knowing what they’re for. It’s a nice study in character comedy with Wenham playing him like an old man in a young man’s body. But though he may be a member of a holy order, he gets away with inflicting pain and death and even finds time for pleasures of the flesh. And he gives a cracking multi-media presentation. Wenham has a broad enough range to keep him in character roles for a good few years, so keep an eye out for him.

Richard Roxburgh does a good line in hammy bad guys; you only have to look at “Moulin Rouge” and “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” to see that, so he was the clear choice to play Dracula. He cuts a dash as an evil New Romantic tragic anti-hero, who’s got a way with the ladies. Roxburgh is a good actor, but here he seems too reined in to be a great Dracula. There isn’t enough whimsy and caprice to carry the character, but that might be down to the script more than the casting. He also lacks chemistry with Kate Beckinsale, which is a shame because it would have added a certain frisson to their encounters. But it is a good performance nonetheless.

The monsters are played surprisingly well. Will Kemp doesn’t get to do much acting as the Wolfman as the lion’s share of the action is done by a CG werewolf, but he seems reasonable enough. Shuler Hensley is particularly good as Frankenstein’s Monster, giving the steam powered and apparently lime jelly-fuelled beast a human core. One can’t help but empathise with his existential angst and it’s a testament to Hensley’s acting that we can see the emotions below the considerable prosthetics.

Stephen Sommers collects supporting actors wherever he goes. Kevin J O’Connor (the weasely Beni from “The Mummy”) is virtually unrecognisable as Igor. He looks like a melted Ted Danson and puts in a scene-stealing, scenery chewing turn. When torturing the Wolfman he is asked, “Igor, why do you torment that thing so?” He deadpans “It’s what I do.” Alun Armstrong (the priest from “The Mummy Returns”) tips up as Van Helsing’s Cardinal boss. Even Tom Fisher (another “Mummy” alumnus) appears as Top Hat, the long-lost offspring of Riff-Raff and local undertaker. But the ugly men are counter-pointed by Dracula’s beautiful and deadly brides, Verona, Marishka and Eleera. They are all stunning, alluring and revelling in their Hammer House of Horror roles. Where else could you hiss and wail with such freedom and not be considered over-the-top?

The production is epic in scale and design. The sets look suitably dark and gothic, the technology is modern in a very old fashioned way and nothing looks too pristine. The costumes (with the exceptions of the Brides’ frothy confections) look like they’ve been lived in. The lighting adds to the oppressive atmosphere of a country shrouded in fear and we only briefly see the sun. The score is full of sweeping, evocative soundscapes and the characters’ personal themes are overblown in a way appropriate to the style of the film. There are all kinds of little touches that add to film. Enormous sets were built to accommodate the movie and the workmanship is evident. It’s a joy to see Dracula and his brides walking up walls and having a conversation on the ceiling because we see so few old-fashioned physical effects these days. There is also the inclusion of the Wergay, Dracula’s disturbing minions who appear to be evil Jawas in spiky gimp suits.

The film is jam-packed with special effects of variable quality. Some of the CGI was provided by Weta, who created the effects for “The Lord of the Rings” and their class shines through. It is hardly coincidence that Dracula’s castle resembles Orthanc and Barad-Dur. Dracula’s brides look excellent when they change from their human to vampire forms and attack the local village. We are shown a new take on werewolves, where a man literally tears his skin off. And the millions of slimy batfinks that appear are a sight to behold. It is the animation of the other CGI characters that sometimes lets the production down. In the final battle, not only has Sommers decided to dispense with human actors with whom we have already formed a bond as an audience, but he also serves up two shonky CG monstoids that look as bad as the Scorpion King in “The Mummy Returns”. Honestly, it’s like watching a game on a Sega Megadrive. The beasts aren’t that scary and they lack a sense of physical weight. If only he could put the “Big Book of CGI” down for a minute and either let technology catch up with his imagination or invest in better make-up effects…

The only other disappointing aspect of the film is the irritatingly mawkish finale. The film could easily have survived without it and it made me want to find Sommers and slap him. This is what happens when directors write their projects too…quality control goes down the pan. Which is probably why there are so many plot holes. Like who will Van Helsing fight if there’s a sequel?

Anyhow, it’s a satisfying weekend movie to see with an enormous bucket of popcorn and a bunch of lairy mates. Just don’t expect it to tell you anything pertinent about the human condition.