Top Of The Pops - 40th Anniversary - 1964 To 2004 (Various Artists) (DVD)

...a caterpillar crawling over my top lip. Paul Weller delivers a sterling performance with The Jam, as one would expect and 'Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick' (in which a saxophonist plays two saxophones at once, something I didn't think possible) provides a fantastic ending to the 70's - a decade which saw the 500th show of 'TOTP', and the programme's highest ever viewing figure of 19 million.

1980 - Adam & The Ants - Ant Music
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...her gut hangs over the top of her trousers. From no hair to a man who looks like he has a tarantula on his head, Seal mimes perfectly to one of the classics of the early-90's. Not sure whether its the fashion, but he is wearing a vest and gloves - surely he's either hot or cold unless he has problems with the extremities of his body.

As we move on through the decade, live performances are re-introduced, beginning with 'Connected', ... more

On Friday, we had a 70's-theme day in work, which offered us the chance to dress up. We have had similar days in the past, for example on 'TV Character' day, I was almost lynched on my way to work, mincing down the streets as Quentin Crisp. Unfortunately, I was embarking on a road trip straight after work on Friday, which I was not prepared to do dressed in a 1970's outfit. I don't believe I own anything from the 70's anyway, although my manager pointed out that I could just come dressed as I do on a normal day. Not quite sure what she meant by that. As it happens, I could have dressed up after all, as my road trip was cancelled at the last minute due to an outbreak of Amoebic dysentery. Not in me, of course.

There was also a 70's-quiz, so I said I would research 70's music - this is where this DVD comes in. I watched it on Tuesday night, which was a mistake as I had been to the bingo and won £47 and had, subsequently, got tanked up. I woke in the morning and couldn't remember any of it, apart from a few strained memories of Noddy Holder. We did, however, get full marks on the music section, and ultimately came 9th of a possible 15. This was a success as we were all born in the 80's, and each member of the winning team were so old that when they got up to collect their prize, their artificial hips all started clicking like a ticker-tape machine. I'm exaggerating slightly, although I'm not sure they'd have done as well on a quiz about the 'nought-ies'.

Anyway, back to the DVD - a celebration of the 40th anniversary of 'Top of the Pops', released in 2004. Featuring a live (and I use the word advisedly) performance from each of the past 40 years, it offers the viewer the chance to relive some priceless moments, which, I'm sure we all remember from our youth. It was this prospect which made me buy the DVD, and the fact that it had been reduced to £5, which I paid for with vouchers I won at work, on 'Dress Up as an Animal Day'.

Everyone has their own memories of 'TOTP'. I remember Bjork performing 'It's Oh So Quiet' surrounded by people dressed up as animals. I also remember some truly shocking performances, which begs the question why acts even bothered going on there if they couldn't sing live. I think originally the acts were allowed to mime, then they had no choice but to sing live due to a change in regulations, and I think towards the end it was at the artists' discretion. I used to like the Christmas specials, and one year I heard an act named Ultra Naté singing their hit 'Free', and the singer was so bad, it sounded like she had just sicked up her sprouts.

Whether live or not, 'TOTP' was something that, in my experience, the family all sat and watched together - a national institution if you will. Now axed, I blame the decline of the show, which used to be watched by over 15 million viewers, on numerous music channels, the availability of live performances, YouTube, for example, and music downloads. Perma-tanned Simon Cowell, who's shows such as 'The X Factor' and 'Britain's Got Talent' have replaced 'TOTP' as the family entertainment shows, has toyed with the idea of bringing it back, and I think he would be the man who could restore it to its previous success, although we'd probably watch the show then have to dial a premium rate number to choose who we wanted to come back on next week. His choices of guest stars for each live episode of 'The X Factor' are normally spot-on; indeed the late Michael Jackson was to appear this year as is, surprise surprise, Susan Boyle. Therefore, I think Simon Cowell would be successful at reprising this show.

Anyway, that's the future - let's concentrate on the past. The BBC have taped over many of the really old performances, including the 5 live appearances of the Beatles. It is annoying when something is taped over inadvertently, I remember recording 'The Two Fat Ladies' over one of my dad's blue movies, and he hit the roof. Apparently Clarissa Dickson-Wright and Jennifer Paterson don't turn him on. I would have expected more care from the BBC however. Still, they managed to find some cracking performances and they are played chronologically. Rather than go into each video separately, I'll break it down into decade.

1964 - Billy J. Kramer & The Dakotas - Little Children
1965 - Sandie Shaw - Long Live Love
1966 - The Seekers - The Carnival is Over
1967 - Procol Harum - A Whiter Shade of Pale
1968 - The Crazy World of Arthur Brown - Fire
1969 - The Hollies - Sorry Suzanne

Despite my relative youth (in fact, my mum was only born 2 years prior to the first performance), I have heard of all of these songs. The actual performances are very simplistic, comprising singers and musicians with their instruments and some flashing lights in the background. Also, the audience seem to be much closer to the stage than is normal. Indeed in 1966's entry, and incidentally one of my favourite songs, Judith Durham is teetering on the edge of her podium so much so, she looks like she could fall off at any moment, and suffocate the two people below her with her heaving bosom. 1968 shows more special effects, with the imitation of fire in the background, although the horns which the singer is wearing look to be actually on fire. As all of these are in black and white, it is not easy to tell however. Also the 60's saw the first appearance on the show from Tony Blackburn, before he got lost in the jungle, and was broadcast in colour for the first time from 1969.

1970 - Free - All Right Now
1971 - T Rex - Get it on
1972 - Roxy Music - Virginia Plain
1973 - Slade - Cum on Feel the Noize
1974 - Three Degrees - When Will I See You Again
1975 - Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel - Make Me Smile (Come Up & See Me)
1976 - The Real Thing - You to Me are Everything
1977 - Queen - Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy
1978 - The Jam - Down in the Tube Station at Midnight
1979 - Ian Dury & The Blockhead - Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick

Featuring all live performances, this selection is a fairly accurate choice of songs to sum up the sounds of the seventies. I did find some of the titles unrecognisable at first, however when I heard them I remembered them. 1971 is a good performance as everybody looks high on drugs, and contributes toward the authenticity of the performance, and I recognised the song from 1970 from a Wrigley's chewing gum advert.

I adore 1973 also, with the opening line 'Baby Baby Baby!', and I remember a little boy impersonating Noddy Holder on a kiddie's special of 'Stars in their Eyes'. He was only 7, and he was dressed up like Holder from this performance, and he looked like the teddy bear off 'Bo Selecta', and delivered a rousing portrayal of this anthemic classic. The sets and effects are much different to the previous decade, and the show seems much more fun. The Three Degrees also give a fantastic performance of another of my favourites.

As the decade progresses, the artist's continue to look monged and I begin to wish I'd been born 30 years earlier as I would have preferred to live while this music was in vogue, rather than the manufactured tosh we have to endure these days. I love the shiny silk, and I would have pulled it off well on '70's day' in the office. I tried to grow one of those pimp-style moustaches, as adorned by The Real Thing, or Freddie Mercury, but only managed a small growth of bum fluff, which makes me look like I have a caterpillar crawling over my top lip. Paul Weller delivers a sterling performance with The Jam, as one would expect and 'Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick' (in which a saxophonist plays two saxophones at once, something I didn't think possible) provides a fantastic ending to the 70's - a decade which saw the 500th show of 'TOTP', and the programme's highest ever viewing figure of 19 million.

1980 - Adam & The Ants - Ant Music
1981 - The Human League - Don't You Want Me
1982 - Culture Club - Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?
1983 - UB40 - Red Red Wine
1984 - Wham! - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go
1985 - Eurythmics - There Must be an Angel (Playing with My Heart)
1986 - Pet Shop Boys - West End Girls
1987 - The Bee Gees - You Win Again
1988 - Yazz & the Plastic Population - The Only Way is Up
1989 - Lisa Stansfield - All Around the World

As we enter the eighties, the sets and lighting are further advanced to suit the mood of the song. 'Ant Music' is not a favourite of mine, but the genre of music is now changing into 80's electro. The first 3 performances all display the leading male singers wearing make-up, a visual clue of the country's ever-growing tolerance to transvestism, and assist the 80's into becoming a pivotal moment in the acceptance of homosexuality.

1982 gives us a glimpse of Boy George before he went all weird and started chaining people up in his bedroom. Before my dad knew he was a man, he used to fancy him, and he looks a lot like my auntie in this performance. Following this we can enjoy the reggae music that Birmingham has to offer. I'm not a huge fan of this song, and much prefer their other songs, as I find this weary. As the decade progresses, on-screen captions are more frequently used, and we can enjoy another fallen gay - George Michael. It is ironic he didn't wake himself up while he was go-go-ing out in his car, before the police found him slumped over the steering wheel after a cannabis binge.

It is clear that from 1985, miming has returned, as Annie Lennox sings while dancing nowhere near her microphone, without any change in her voice. I could forgive Lennox this however, as I have heard her live and she is fantastic, and this song was number 1 on the day my best friend, Debbie, was born. 'West End Girls' brings back bad memories for me, as I tried to re-create the video whilst walking down my street, and tripped over the kerb whilst looking into an imaginary camera, and consequently twisted my ankle.

This is a good selection of songs to portray the decade, although I'm not a fan of the Bee Gee's, as I find them pretentious and they take themselves too seriously. I loved it when they walked out of the interview with Clive Anderson, and one of them reminds me of a lion. It is also interesting to see how the fashions change as we move from decade to decade - Yazz looks like she has just gotten back from a car boot sale, and her dancers could be wearing the curtains from a clown's house. The end of the decade now, and I'm beginning to find performances I remember watching on TV, Lisa Stansfield stands out here. Her outfit is superb, and she has a long coat on over half-mast jeans, white socks and big black clomping shoes, whilst balancing a beret on her head. Still, if your travelling around the world looking for your baby, I don't suppose appearance is a priority. She is unrecognisable to how she looks now, as she has had that most unpleasant mole removed from her face, which is a good thing, as it was most unsightly. The 80's saw the show's 1,000th episode and the last appearance as a regular host, of Jimmy Savile, as he went to pursue his handyman career, fixing things.

1990 - Sinead O'Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U
1991 - Seal - Crazy
1992 - Stereo MCs - Connected
1993 - New Order - Regret
1994 - Blur - Parklife
1995 - Take That - Back for Good
1996 - Oasis - Don't Look Back in Anger
1997 - Spice Girls - Wannabe
1998 - Manic Street Preachers - If You Tolerate This Your Children Will be Next
1999 - Ricky Martin - Livin' La Vida Loca

A fantastic opening to the decade, featuring another singer with a mole, albeit not as prominent as Stansfield's. A heart-rendering performance from the bald lady who would become famous for tearing up the Pope. She sounds much better singing it then than she does now - a life-time of chain-smoking has taken its toll on Ms. O'Connor's vocal chords, unfortunately, and she sounds like David Dickinson's wife, present-day. She has also put on so much weight, her gut hangs over the top of her trousers. From no hair to a man who looks like he has a tarantula on his head, Seal mimes perfectly to one of the classics of the early-90's. Not sure whether its the fashion, but he is wearing a vest and gloves - surely he's either hot or cold unless he has problems with the extremities of his body.

As we move on through the decade, live performances are re-introduced, beginning with 'Connected', an example of early-90's garage/dance music, before we move into Britpop and boyband territory. The 90's also saw acts performing live away from the studio, and this is shown in 1993's entry, which is broadcast from the set of 'Baywatch' with David Hasselhoff looking on, thankfully not joining in with the singing. The mid-90's saw the introduction of our first boyband, and the ongoing feud between northern Oasis and southern Blur, both of which feature in this period. Sandwiching these rather raw and lively performances, is Take That who sit on stools and sing backing vocals, with Gary doing all the work and having to stand up. The decade then introduces us to the horrific Spice Girls, who also perform on location. The Manics continue the indie theme with a fantastic performance, before we go all Latino for the rather hunky Enrique Martín Morales, who mimes his way through his repetitive song. Overall a fair reflection of the music scene in the 90's, and some rather good performances in a decade which saw the introduction of 'Top of the Pops 2', which has ironically outlived the programme from which it spun-off.

2000 - Spiller - Groovejet (If this Ain't Love)
2001 - Texas - I Don't Want a Lover
2002 - Status Quo - Rockin' All Over the World
2003 - The Darkness - I Believe in a Thing Called Love
2004 - Michael Andrews, featuring Gary Jules - Mad World

Opening the noguht-ies is Sophie Ellis-Bextor, who always reminds me of how I imagined the character of 'Moon-Face' from Enid Blyton's beloved Faraway Tree. She dresses in a simple black dress, although she should have worn something to cover her ankles which are not too dissimilar to my nan's. This is followed by a couple of songs which are not exactly reflective of the music industry at the time. Indeed 2002's entry was merely a re-recording of an annoying 70's ditty. I'm not a huge fan of the Quo - they remind me of the Hairy Biker's, 2 men who are so scruffy and dirty-looking that I couldn't physically eat anything they cooked. Its a very disappointing end to what has been a fantastic DVD. Despite broadcasting its 2000th episode, re-vamping the show and celebrating its 40th anniversary, 'TOTP' was shown for the last time on 30th July 2006, to an audience of 3.98 million.

There are a few special features on this including a behind the scenes making of the show, but its presented by Andi Peters so I haven't watched this, as I find his finger-nails are abnormally long for a man. There is also the option for subtitles, to which one could presumably sing along, but I can't get this to work on my DVD player.

So, there we have it - 40 years of music complied into a 137-minute DVD. I would recommend this - its extremely nostalgic and cheap, and is good for after a dinner party or something. Hopefully, we will see 'TOTP' back on our screens someday - in fact if Simon Cowell does resurrect the programme, I will dress up as him on my work's 'TV Judge Day'. 

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