The Princess Diaries (Wide Screen) > Reviews > A Cynics Nightmare

Author's product rating:   

Did you enjoy it?	Disliked it
Story	Very ordinary
Characters / Performances	Good
Special Effects	Standard
How does it compare to similar films?	Unmemorable

Advantages:	Lighhearted with a few comedic moments
Disadvantages:	Unabsorbing and not for the cynical

Recommend to potential buyers:

no

Full review

As a present for my birthday, a friend who doesn’t seem to know me very well bought me the video of The Princess Diaries. It’s a film that didn’t appeal to me when it was initially released at the cinema in 2001. Despite having Julie Andrews in it, an actress who has appeared in a lot of movies I like, I felt this film wasn’t targeted at my age group or at someone who doesn’t like the chick teen flick genre. Nevertheless, as it was a gift it had to be watched.

Mia (Anne Hathaway) is a young, gawky, clumsy 15 year old. She’s not in with the A-crowd but badly wants to be. She’s desperately in love with the most popular boy in school who is dating the most popular girl in school. She has a kooky mother that she is ashamed of. In other words, she was just like nearly every teenage girl in the country. That is until her Grandmother (Julie Andrews) arrives to inform her that since her father’s death, she is now the crown princess of Genovia. Yes, the ugly duckling is in fact royalty. Mia, being quite ‘unpolished’ in the looks department and having an inability to walk without falling must take princess lessons, so she will know how to behave, look and react in her new stately role.

This film has been described as heartwarming, funny and as a modern day Cinderella. Personally, I found it a little flat. It was adapted from a great book by Meg Cabot and sadly has dumbed down, changing some of the most enjoyable piece of the storyline for me. The storyline obviously isn’t very original having been seen countless times before. Yes, the old Ugly Duckling becomes a beautiful swan while meeting her handsome prince. I wouldn’t mark it down for this though as it is targeted at an audience that generally likes its movies to be light and predictable.

The script is a totally different matter though. It really is quite poor, with bad characterisation, plot holes and terribly cheesy lines. The dialogue is so poor and clichéd that I was nearly gagging from the amount of saccharine. Very few of the jokes are actually funny and if it wasn’t for the physical comedy being so good I would have failed to laugh out loud at all. The slapstick was very well done indeed and I must grudgingly applaud that as I did a minor belly laugh to those scenes.

Anne Hathaway as Mia, in spite of looking far older than the 15 she is supposed to be, does a very good job in her first lead role. Despite the weak script she carries off the jokes to the best of her ability. She has a real knack for the physical comedy. She is actually much better in the beginning stages of the film playing the nerdy, unsure geek and these of course provide the best comedy moments. I have only seen her in this one production but I think she will prove to be a very talented actress. And full marks for allowing her eyebrows to get so badly overgrown and having them plucked on camera!

Julie Andrews as Queen Clarisse is almost perfect casting. She is suitably refined and elegant, and plays the split of Grandmother/Queen very well indeed. Her comic timing shows the years she has spent in the industry. Dame Julie’s chemistry with the wonderful and much underused Hector Elizondo was excellent and if only the film had concentrated more on their relationship I might have enjoyed it more. Heather Matarazzo as the best friend also fitted the role very well. Generally the best friend of a heroine in Disney films is whiny, nasal, pushy and annoying. Heather Matarazzo I hope has some natural ability pretending to be this way otherwise she would be unbearable if she was really that annoying.

Robert Schwartzman, the ‘love interest’was terrible casting. He and Hathaway lack chemistry, and sadly his acting is poor. I was surprised by his lack of screen presence as I enjoyed his performance in The Virgin Suicides. Mandy Moore as the school bitch is another who was badly cast and who has no ability to act. She performs the only musical number of the film which seems to be there so Mandy could look cute in a bikini and play to her one strength, the ability to mime. It jarred, seeming out of synch with the rest of the film and I cringed all the way through it.

Despite the terminally dreadful Mandy Moore singing Stupid Cupid the soundtrack is fairly good for the film. Although the music is not to my taste (the Hanson brothers anyone?) it does fit well with the film. Of course, a lot of it is so saccharine it could poison the water supply of a city but it does help bring more of a modern feel to this tired tale.

The Director, Garry Marshall really should be ashamed of himself for being a part of this production. He has done some excellent films in the past, such as Beaches and Pretty Woman. This film doesn’t play to any of his strengths with its wishy washy storyline, his usual strength being glamour and strong female characters.

I was hoping this film would be more like the old Hayley Mills films from the 1960’s that used to delight me on a Sunday afternoon. However, it was more like being smothered to death in a wet blanket. It’s sickening, badly scripted and I couldn’t wait for the film to get to its predictable conclusion. Possibly I’m too cynical and not romantic and dreamy enough to enjoy The Princess Diaries but I think for teenage films there are much better, like 10 Things I Hate About You. For romance then choose Pretty Woman or The Princess Bride. For a kid’s movie, choose Shrek. There are hundreds of options to choose from so you can give this film a wide berth.

For some people with a limited grasp of reality or little imagination this is a great way to while away the hours, but to someone who would rather watch a good thriller or horror The Princess Diaries is worse than Chinese Water torture. I have to give credit for the performances by the main stars but apart from those this film is a washout that I would never watch again. My conclusion, read the book. It’s much funnier, more romantic and more realistic in terms of portraying teenagers. Watch this if you have the brain of a teabag, like suffocating in teenage twaddle or still dream of being a Princess