Who'd have thought university would be so time-consuming!
Who'd have thought university would be so time-consuming!
Member since:19.06.2005
Reviews:131
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What with the recent Wolfgang Peterson remake of The Poseidon Adventure (adventurously re-titled "Poseidon") hitting the big screens and consequently sinking just as disastrously as its titular ship, I thought it would be a good idea to plunge myself into the world of 1970s disaster movies. It would seem watery tales create mixed feelings with cinema goers (some hate this film, whilst a recent survey named it as the greatest disaster film ever), but the Academy of Motion Pictures seem to love them, since this was nominated for 9 Oscars, and then of course Titanic sank all opposition, winning 11 awards from 14. So, I put my flippers on, got my rubber ring at the ready and sat down to watch (duh duh duh) "The Poseidon Adventure"!
The story (as if you don't know it already) tells of a luxury cruise liner, The Poseidon, which happens to be captained by Leslie Nielson. "Oh no" I hear you cry, but don't worry, he dies when it is hit by an enormous tidal wave on New Year's Eve. After flipping right over, some of the passengers (amongst them a renegade preacher played by Gene Hackman, a rude and argumentative bloke played by Ernest
Borgnine and a singer called Nonnie who can't stop screaming played by Carol Lynley) decide to move upwards (i.e. downwards) to escape the oncoming water and reach safety. Predictably, their route is fraught with danger, and they must use courage and sacrifice to see it through.
Even those who don't know much about this film probably know that it's completely over the top and cheesy, or if you didn't, you should have realised after my little plot summary. The characters are so lame it's hilarious, for example the afore-mentioned and ludicrously named "Nonnie". All she does is scream really loudly and complain that she can't swim and get scared of climbing a ladder. Then there is a lady who thinks she's too fat to do anything, but does in fact manage to climb a Christmas tree (don't ask) and squeeze through a narrow pipe by will alone. Then, just as they reach a flooded passageway, she reveals she used to be the Women's Underwater Swimming Champion!
If the characters get 10 out of 10 for absurdity, the acting is in the mid twenties. The two central men shout their way through the whole film, there is the most annoying little boy ever captured on celluloid, and the casting of Leslie Nielson in a serious role just about sums it up. Has the director not seen Airplane? Does he really expect us to look at Nielson in a captain's outfit without laughing? Plus, I know it's not strictly an acting fault, but I thought I had to mention that one of the actors is called Red Buttons! In real life! How funny is that?
If you think all this criticism means I hate the film, you're utterly wrong! It was great! Unintentionally hilarious and completely naff, but great! It is after all a disaster movie, not a complex character study, so what were you expecting? Decent characters that you care about? Psch
I suppose at the time (this was made 34 years ago, after all) the special effects were first rate, and you can't deny that the sinking scene is dramatic. Think Titanic, but take away all seriousness and the fancy effects, and what are you left with? Lots of people screaming, the camera shaking, and tables flying everywhere! It's brilliant! Plus, The Poseidon Adventure doesn't waste much time with pointless build up, it just shows us the main characters, drops in a bit of foreshadowing (hmm, an earthquake just off Cyprus, what could it mean?), then literally hits us with the action.
It doesn't stop there though, oh no! They have to find a way to get a girl down from the ceiling, a way to get back up to the ceiling via a Christmas tree, a way to get up some stairs using a fire hose, a way to get through an underwater passage with a rope, and finally a way to get out through the engine room. Talk about cramming in the action. All this, plus they're constantly running away from the rising water levels, which conveniently come up a level just when the characters find themselves with nothing to scream about. I love it!
I think The Poseidon Adventure could definitely be described, for a modern audience, as Titanic without the boring bits, or in other words, Titanic without three quarters of the film. It's refreshingly 70s, action-packed, suspenseful, and doesn't actually have quite the happy ending you might have expected. Of course, it's utter rubbish, completely cheesy and the ending sucks, but that honestly all adds to the fun!
"Hell, Upside Down", says the tagline. Yeah, I think that sums it up. _______________________________________
The Poseidon Adventure is available to buy on DVD for £5.99, from www.amazon.co.uk. I'm reviewing the film only, not the extras.
Directed by: Ronald Neame Starring:
Gene Hackman Rev. Frank Scott Ernest Borgnine Det. Lt. Mike Rogo Leslie Nielson Captain Harrison Shelley Winters Belle Rosen Jack Albertson Manny Rosen Red Buttons James Martin Carol Lynley Nonnie Parry
Running Time: 117 minutes Classification: PG
My Rating: 4 stars
Pictures of The Poseidon Adventure (DVD)
The cast pose for the cameras
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Production Year: 1996 - Action/Adventure - Director: Tom Clegg - Original Language: English - Classification: 12 years and over - Starring:Daragh O'Malley, Oliver Cotton, Jason Durr, Sean Bean, Allie Byrne
Production Year: 1964 - Action/Adventure - Director: Cyril Endfield - Original Language: English - Classification: Parental Guidance - Starring:Stanley Baker, Jack Hawkins, Ulla Jacobsson, James Booth, Michael Caine, Nigel Green
Production Year: 1995 - Action/Adventure - Director: Tom Clegg - Original Language: English - Classification: 12 years and over - Starring:Sean Bean, Daragh O'Malley, Allie Byrne, Oliver Cotton, Emily Mortimer, Michael Cochrane
Production Year: 2002 - Action/Adventure - Director: Vincenzo Natali - Original Language: English - Classification: 15 years and over - Starring:Lucy Liu, David Hewlett, Anne Marie Scheffler, Joseph Scoren, Matthew Sharp, Jeremy Northam
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