The Patriot DVD

...in particular. Anyway, welcome to The Patriot or rather Mel Versus reality Round 2. This time he turns his steely gaze to the American War for independance, much like Braveheart only in America. You are forgiven for thinking the two movies are seperate and unconnected because, after all, who would be stupid enough to so blatently re-enact Wars where the British were the villains both times? Mel. Thats who. He has now made four War films from the ...
...Were Soldiers set in Vietnam. The two films in between however are Braveheart (no comment) and The Patriot. Gallipolli was one of Mels first films and therefore he had no say, and We Were Soldiers' subject matter is a little too recent to make any lies acceptable to an American audience. But fear not all you xenophobic Gibson fans, he still managed to win Oscars with the racist propaganda that was Braveheart and then promptly re-made it with The ... more

Wow! Look at that poster! Mel looks very serious doesn't he! I tell you, it takes a real actor to be able to stare like that at nothing in particular. Anyway, welcome to The Patriot or rather Mel Versus reality Round 2. This time he turns his steely gaze to the American War for independance, much like Braveheart only in America. You are forgiven for thinking the two movies are seperate and unconnected because, after all, who would be stupid enough to so blatently re-enact Wars where the British were the villains both times? Mel. Thats who. He has now made four War films from the brilliant Gallipolli set in the First World War to We Were Soldiers set in Vietnam. The two films in between however are Braveheart (no comment) and The Patriot. Gallipolli was one of Mels first films and therefore he had no say, and We Were Soldiers' subject matter is a little too recent to make any lies acceptable to an American audience. But fear not all you xenophobic Gibson fans, he still managed to win Oscars with the racist propaganda that was Braveheart and then promptly re-made it with The Patriot, only this time with guns.

Many were fooled when it came out into swallowing the lies because it took place in a real enough setting. This little trick was done in Braveheart where a real peron and setting were manipulated so that it could still be claimed it was a true story. Un fortunately for Mel something has to actually be true to justify it being called that otherwise it is quite obviously false. The Patriot is a good excercise in the increasing trend of 'faction' where real stories are changed and then presented as history. Other examples are A Beautiful Mind, Titantic and The Perfect Storm as well as countless other war films that embellish history in shameful displays of Nationalism.

Tweaking history is not necesarily a bad thing, for example Schindlers List where we were glad of not seeing the whole story. But the fine line between tweaking history and altering it is crossed deliberately and unacceptably in The Patriot where yet another piece of anti English nonsense is wrought out of a perfectly good setting and a piece of history that is just as entertaining when presented as it really happened.

The American War of Independance took place in 1776 if i remember rightly after the colonists declared their freedom from England and set up their own country. As we all know the colonists won but what you probably don't know is that England defeated the Militia several times but could not bring them to the negotiating table. A treaty granting American Independance was eventually signed after the English army could no longer be bothered to send over troops (This was back when travel between the two countries took weeks). Little details like this (and the fact that we once burnt down the White House) are curiously missing from The Patriot which instead is just one long American victory.

The 'Plot' then, concerns Mel Gibsons character who has seven children and lives out on his plantation and is extremely anti-war except when the English are involved. He is reluctantly drawn into conflict when his son enlists and his home is torched by the English because he helps the wounded of both armies (are you booing yet?). Mel is then prompted by the murder of one of his sons to join up and leads his own band of soldiers to attack the local English camp. An interesting prospect certainly, but it is achieved with such sickening pomposity and self rightousness whilst turning the English from simply villains into despicable monsters who burn children and snarl like pantomime baddies. It goes from distasteful to the simply outrageous as Mel slashes his way throught the English ranks while everyone else fights for screen time and are swept away in a sea of blood and unwelcomely cheesy emotions.

The Cast:
Mel Gibson
Heath Ledger
Jason Isaacs
Tom Wilkinson

So that you don't have to sit through the whole thing, here is an abridged script.

The Patriot

(Fade in on Mels idyllic plantation where his children gambol and his slaves cheerily sing as they work under oppression. Mel tells his son that he cannot go and fight)

Mel: No my son, we must not start the battle because we are noble brave and courageous, we would never stoop so slow to launch an unprovoked attack. Look, here come some injured soldiers, we will help both sides because we are kind generous and thoughtful.

(Suddenly an evil English army approaches led by the immediately recognisable villain of the film identifiable because he has a scar, pony tail and smirks.)

Jason Isaacs (evil): I see you have helped our men.

Mel: Yes i did because i am good, honourable and...

Jason: Shut Up! You helped our enemies as well so i will burn your home down BWAHAHAHAHA!

(One of Mel's sons rushes at this contemptible villain and is killed by Jason who deliberately smirks ensuring himself a bloody and violent end. Mel does nothing except stare into the distance.)

Mel: I will avenge his death and win back my other son who has just been kidnapped. Come with me my other sons and bring your guns.

Sons: Uh-oh. Are you going to get violent again?

Mel: Yes, it is the only way.

Sons: Well actually...

Mel: Quiet!

(Mel proceeds to hack apart anything in a red coat. Meanwhile his older son (Heath) gets romantic with a girl in some village. Evil Jason arrives...)

Jason: BWAHAHAHAHA! Take everyone into the Church and then burn it!

Soldier: Why?

Director: Sshhh!

(Heath finds his girlfriend is dead and goes after Jason himself only to die thus making Mel even angrier.)

Mel: Right. Now im really mad.

(Mel kills everything in sight and then disposes of Jason very messily before returning to his joyous family and happy slaves.)

Slaves: Oh Sir! Yousa saved us mon, wesa so pleased to work for you in this fine country.

Mel: Thats Ok my quest is over now we can relax in our new Utopia now that the evil oppressive English are gone.

(Mel stares with a steely gaze at the camera as the English camp burns.)

Audience: What the hell was that?

Director: That was real life as it happened with the heroic Americans beating the evil enemies of the free.

Audience: Hmmm. Do you smell that? Bullshit.

The End.

The film is devoid of any real message since it is almost entirely ficticious, and as you can probably gather from my script is anti-English and lacks any emotion other than that mawkish awkward feeling you get from watching the usual Hollywood lies. The direction is hurried and messy with little trouble taken on plausibility and more focus on big bloody battles. The battles themselves are unengaging and feel routine, almost a rushed after thought. The only details worth wating for are a soldiers head being taken off by a cannon ball and Mel going Hatchet Happy on an unfortunate Englishman. The script is lazy with no care to hide the racism or the shameful villification of the English that has them murdering civilians and grinning evily at every opportunity. The love interst is sloppy and only a token effort whilst Mel himself is just repeating William Wallace. The two English actors are much better with Isaacs being superb even if he is the hate figure of the film.

I didnt like it or enjoy it and rather than give it a low rating for simply being anti-English, i feel justified as it was also badly made and meant to appeal to a certain audience which i wasn't a part of.
Dont see it, you'll only encourage them to make more.

Thanks, willgould.
 

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