"It isn't how you get there, it's what you do along the way that counts."
"It isn't how you get there, it's what you do along the way that counts."
Member since:21.02.2007
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Director: Simon Hunter Writer: Philip Eisner Genre: Action - Adventure - Sci-Fi Country: USA Certification: 18 Language: English DVD Release: 16th February, 2009
MAIN CAST:
Thomas Jane [Maj. 'Mitch' Hunter] Ron Perlman [Brother Samuel] Devon Aoki [Cpl. Valerie Duval] Sean Pertwee [Capt. Nathan Rooker] Benno Fürmann [Lt. Maximillian von Steiner] Anna Walton [Severian]
'The Machine' - at the end of the Ice Age it was sent to Earth in order to change humans into mutants, however... it was defeated and sealed beneath the Earth.
2707 - the world is in chaos, its resources depleted, and the ruling four 'Corporations' [Bauhaus, Mishima, Capitol, Imperial] are at war... a war that is everlasting... until one day, in the midst of a battle, an errant shell destroys the seal that has imprisoned 'The Machine' and a horde of necro-mutants are released onto the battlefield in order to gather the dead and dying, and to take them to 'The Machine' in order to be transformed into hideous mutants with swords that grow from their arms.
A portion of Earth's population manages to escape to Mars, but millions are left behind in order to fend for themselves.
Brother
Samuel, leader of the 'Brotherhood', an ancient monastic order which guards the 'Chronicles', a sacred book that prophesies the rise of 'The Machine' that will attempt to destroy humanity, and the arrival of the 'Deliverer' who will defeat it. Brother Samuel believes that he is the 'Deliverer', and approaches Constantine, the leader of one of the Corporations, in order to request twenty soldiers and an aircraft for a suicide mission that will take them deep underground in order to confront 'The Machine'.
Constantine gives Brother Samuel an aircraft, but instead of giving him soldiers, he gives him passes onto spaceships headed for Mars... passes which he can use in order to recruit soldiers. With those left behind facing a certain death, the passes are extremely valuable, which allows Brother Samuel to tempt a few war-toughened stragglers to follow him on his suicide mission. The stragglers, a mix of soldiers from the four 'Corporations', all have one thing in common [except for one]... they need the passes in order to save loved ones, and will do whatever it takes.
'The Mutant Chronicles', much in the same vein as 'DragonQuest', was about as enjoyable to watch as a turd floating in a swimming pool... the first startled exclamation being 'what the!' followed by a 'gross'. This just about sums it up as far as my opinion goes.
I've decided to divide this review into three sections... the 'good', the 'bad' and the 'ugly'.
The 'good', as you may already suspect, will be quite short - the atmosphere of this movie is pretty good, the screenshots, the insertion of numerous battles, the mutants' makeup, even the storyline serves to make this movie one that is not totally without worth. The mutants are suitably disgusting-looking, and the entire principle of dragging the dead and dying off to 'The Machine' in order to be recycled is somewhat fascinating, in fact--it's almost mesmerising at times. There is that dark and heavy atmosphere, that end-of-the-world cloud of doom that hangs over everything and is omnipresent and omnipotent.
Thomas Jane, who plays Major Mitch Hunter, manages to give a credible performance along with Anna Walton, who plays Severian, the 'Chronicles' sword-wielding guardian. Mitch and Severian are strong characters, warriors, selfless and brave, and fully prepared to die in order to save humanity from 'The Machine'. They are also the only two characters who are believable.
The 'bad' section is a bit lengthier... my major gripe with this movie is that it is supposed to take place in 2707 - a full 698 years into the future - yet the battle scenes are reminiscent of WWII... in fact, the clothing, gear and some of the uniforms could have been used in any of the hundreds of war movies made following the war. Apart from a few neat laser weapons and flame-throwers, technology took a backseat in this movie. Easily recognisable are weapons from this era, and the 'steam' schematics of the aircraft and other vehicles, although reinforcing the fact that the world's resources have been depleted, are reminiscent of the 'Industrial Revolution'... late 18th - early 19th centuries. There is this 'old' feel to everything, including the visuals of the movie, as though everything, including the story, has been recycled.
No doubt the very worse aspect of this movie are the special-effects, if they can be called 'special'... similar, once again, to the patchy special-effects found in 'DragonQuest', it was an ordeal not to wince when swords smashed into 'fake' heads, or blood and guts spurted out like ketchup shooting out from a squeezy bottle. It was almost laughable at times - luckily the makeup artist knew what he/she was about and managed to save the day.
The dialogue is incredibly inane and yawn-inducing, and this, matched with poor acting skills on behalf of most of the cast has reinforced my opinion that if you're going to make a B-movie, try to at least get an A-cast.
The 'ugly' section award, obviously, goes to Brother Samuel and the necro-mutants for being, without a doubt, the ugliest characters ever created... apart, perhaps, for Hellboy!
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Production Year: 2007 - Science Fiction - Director: Francis Lawrence - Original Language: English - Classification: 15 years and over - Starring: Alice Braga, Charlie Tahan, Dash Mihok, Will Smith, Salli Richardson, Willow Smith
Production Year: 2007 - Science Fiction - Director: Francis Lawrence - Original Language: English - Classification: 15 years and over - Starring: Willow Smith, Dash Mihok, Will Smith, Charlie Tahan, Salli Richardson, Alice Braga
Maximus-Qualitus 05.08.2008 (05.08.2008)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful
Review of The Mutant Chronicles DVD
Maximus-Qualitus 05.08.2008 (05.08.2008)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful
Review of The Mutant Chronicles DVD
Advantages: The score would work if it was attached to a better film. Disadvantages: The direction, performances, writing and effects are all disgracefully bad.
Apr 7th, 2009
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