People..please, no more telling me I misunderstood the Football Factory, if one more person even thi...
People..please, no more telling me I misunderstood the Football Factory, if one more person even thinks about saying it..I'm 32, I've got GCSE's in pottery..I understand sh*t British films just fine <flounces off in flurry of petticoats>
Member since:27.07.2000
Reviews:170
Members who trust:78
'The League of Extraordinary Gentleman' is fantastic stuff. Absolutely excellent. Brilliant. Especially so if you are one of the producers of 'Ishtar', 'Battlefield Earth', 'Lost in Space', 'Titanic' or 'Police Academy 8: Mission to Mansfield', because 'LXG' is now officially one of the very worst pieces of tepid nonsense ever committed to celluloid, and would shove all the above further down the list.
When one of the Executive Producers, who also happens to be the male lead, declares that he wants to walk off his own picture, then you know you're in for something pretty diabolical. 'LXG' is truly diabolical, and not in a fiendish Fu Manchu kind of way.
A half arsed, half baked, half witted slice of action that worryingly seems to set itself up for a sequel, it's to be avoided at all costs. Whereas 'From Hell' just about got things spot on in sampling the graphic novel work of Alan Moore, 'LXG' looks like the Producers got it wrong from the word go.
"Hey, we need a gothic type comic strip actioner...whose work should we see?"
"Well, Tim Burton's 'Batman Returns' was a very dark
comic offering"
"Gee, lets rent it and get some ideas..."
Except, they didn't, accidentally they must have picked up 'Batman and Robin' instead.
An interesting premise; superheroes of the literary world that exist in some weird Victorian 'neverwhere' joining forces to battle an evil genius determined to drag Britain and Germany into a war, and thus spark a world war. The heroes, or the 'League', would consist of Allan Quatermain, Mina Harker, Dorian Gray, The Invisible Man, Dr Jekyll, Captain Nemo and...Tom Sawyer. Please feel free to exclaim "WHAT THE F***!" too.
Probably the most annoying and clunking piece of tinkering that the studios performed on the League was the inclusion of an American. God forbid the 'US of A' wouldn't have anyone to root for in this movie. Perhaps if the villains had all been Arabs too. Not fussy what kind of Arabs. Any old kind would've done, as long as they got blown up...by an American.
Anyway, it's all inconsequential as most of the characters appear light years away from those of the strip. It's all a big mess, with a sloppy script chocked full of cliche and a plot that you could drive a World War I tank through. A big wild goose-chase that defies logic at all turns, and gets more and more dumb with each passing sceond you waste reliving the 110 minutes that this picture takes to tell it's tedious story.
The twists are as obvious as the woeful CGI effects. If the premise of your movie is going to be all-out action and effects, then at least get THAT bit right. The effects rarely look good when projected onto the big screen, and director Stephen (Blade) Norrington is all at sea with the action. A constantly roving camera and rapid editing does not equal action bliss. In fact, there is little that Norrington seems to be able to do with this picture. The opening five minutes are fun enough, and the quirky turn of the century production design is always faultless, but I'm afraid this is one big clunker.
A chase around the globe in Nemo's submarine gives a pretty mundane cast little to do, and shame upon shame, Connery has a weak script to work with and looks thoroughly bored with the material. Jason Flemyng is most miscast as Dr Jekyll, and Mr Hyde is an abomination of effects work and ellicits giggles rather than gasps.
Naseeruddin Shah looks like he could walk away with the picture as Nemo, but is given very little to do other than say 'Dive' or 'Surface'. Shame. Peta Wilson is very sexy, and she needs to be for her sketchy role as Mina Harker. Nothing else is going to get her noticed on that screen as she wheels out poor dialogue in an entirely unconvincing turn.
Stuart Townsend makes a wet Dorian Gray, and it's no surprise he made such a poor Aragorn in 'LOTR'. Looks good, but has little screen presence. Tony Curran is impossibly annoying as the Invisible Man saddled with one of those cockney accents that no-one from the East End would actually recognise. Richard Roxburgh appears as the head of the League, and gets to appear a little later in the movie too after initially assembling the group. He's okay, and much like anyone else struggles to emote with a script as poor as this.
Naturally Connery comes off best, but is defeated by the constant inanities of the screenplay. James Robinson should be hunted down and lynched for this adaptation of Moore and O'Neills work. A 5 year old would spot the stupidity of it all from 2 miles away.
'Last Boy Scout' - Utter crap, but oh so very enjoyable.
'The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen' - Utter crap and a complete and utter waste of 2 hours of my life.
The music is bombastic rubbish that would sit comfortably in any Michael Bay outing. The sets ARE great. The acting is hit and miss. The script is shoddy and childish. The effects are largely awful. Practically nothing works in this movie, so shallow are all the characterisations that you really couldn't give a stuff who wins in the end, I was rooting for anyone in an attempt to get out of the cinema, and let both my brain and rear-end regain any sort of feeling.
Undoubtedly the worst film of 2003, and I haven't even seen 'Bad Boys II' yet. Avoid at all costs. Do not wait for it on DVD, do not wait for it on TV, just pretend it's not there and it might go away.
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Production Year: 1977 - Action/Adventure - Director: Clint Eastwood - Original Language: English - Classification: 18 years and over - Starring:Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Pat Hingle, William Prince, Bill McKinney
Production Year: 1964 - Action/Adventure - Director: Cyril Endfield - Original Language: English - Classification: Parental Guidance - Starring:Stanley Baker, Jack Hawkins, Ulla Jacobsson, James Booth, Michael Caine, Nigel Green
Production Year: 2002 - Action/Adventure - Director: Vincenzo Natali - Original Language: English - Classification: 15 years and over - Starring:Lucy Liu, David Hewlett, Anne Marie Scheffler, Joseph Scoren, Matthew Sharp, Jeremy Northam
Was there a Stuart Townsend in Lord Of The Rings? I remember Aragorn being played by Viggo Mortensen, but maybe there is another Lord of the Rings I don't know about.
flamenca7 04.03.2004 16:00
hehehe i was waiting for this...i was waiting for some review about this movie cause i had kind of strange feeling whether go and see it or not...thanks boy, you made it easier to decide...hugs
nictastic 23.01.2004 19:35
hee hee hee hee! i love the negative bitter reviews, they are the best, i came very close, perhaps too close it would seem to witnessing this movie, but was put off by connery using those ridiculous lines that seemed all too unfamiliar, and beginning every word with "Shhhhhhhhhh" or ending! doubt i would have noticed the flawed effects, other than that. it sounds like id have hated this! nic x
The heroes of 1899 are brought to life with the help of some expensive special effects ... more
inThe League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. From the pages of Victorian literature come Captain Nemo, Dr Jekyll (and his alter ego Mr Hyde), Dorian Gray, Tom Sawyer, th...
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The heroes of 1899 are brought to life with the help of some expensive special effects ... more
inThe League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. From the pages of Victorian literature come Captain Nemo, Dr Jekyll (and his alter ego Mr Hyde), Dorian Gray, Tom Sawyer, th...
Postage & Packaging: £1.21 Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days...
The heroes of 1899 are brought to life with the help of some expensive special effects ... more
inThe League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. From the pages of Victorian literature come Captain Nemo, Dr Jekyll (and his alter ego Mr Hyde), Dorian Gray, Tom Sawyer, th...
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![The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen - 2 disc Special Edition [DVD] [2003]](http://picnicb.ciao.com/uk/78524177.jpg "The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen - 2 disc Special Edition [DVD] [2003]")
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Nov 9th, 2003
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