Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon is called in when the curator of the Louvre is found dead in the museum, covered in mysterious sigils. But Langdon soon finds himself framed for the murder and on the run with French cryptologist Sophie Neveu. They are quickly embroiled in a conspiracy far larger than they could ever have imagined; one that could threaten the tenets of Christian belief. But powerful people are determined that the secret remains just that and they are willing to kill to protect it.

However, so much time is spent on solving the puzzles and the race against time aspects of the story that there is no room for character development. Unusually for Howard, he doesn't seem at all interested in his protagonists. He doesn't bother with back-stories for the main players and we end up knowing more about albino assassin Silas, than we do about Robert Langdon. All we garner is that he is claustrophobic because of falling down a well as a child. I realise conspiracy films require a certain amount of intrigue, but Langdon's lack of personality means there is no emotional centre to the film. As a result, it's hard to care if he solves the mystery, gets the girl or even gets a decent haircut.

The screenplay by "A Beautiful Mind" scribe Akiva Goldsman is a let-down on all sides. Its' central conceit (that a specious religious conspiracy could undermine life on earth as we know it) is patently ludicrous. I can't say it would make a damned bit of difference to any of the millions of people that don't subscribe to Christianity if Jesus did have kids. I don't think it would make that much difference to Christians either, as it would hardly be a bar to him being the son of God. The character development throughout the movie is virtually non-existent. Throwing in the odd phobia here and the occasional flashback there is hardly a substitute for a decent back story. This undermines the protagonists, making it almost impossible to care for them. The dialogue is exposition-heavy and feels like a long trudge through a series of very dull lectures by ill-informed professors. A picture is worth a thousand words and I'm sure there must have been at least a few visual shortcuts that might have compacted the interminable drivel. Clearly Goldsman is unaware that brevity is the soul of wit. That would explain the mammoth running time that seems longer because everything is revealed in such a heavy-handed manner. One of the major issues is the film doesn't know when to stop. The narrative dribbles on through four clear endings and as each one rolls around, you'll be praying for it to be the final one. And each one exists only to tie up ends that might have been better off left loose. Just a little mystery might have made the preceding two-and-a-half hours seem more worthwhile. Opus Dei and associated parties within the Catholic Church have nothing to fear from the theories presented here. They are shown in such a ludicrous fashion that no-one would believe them.

Audrey Tautou is given short shrift by a script that has her as little more than a damsel in distress. She tries to imbue the character with a gamine intelligence, but is constantly cut adrift. There's nowhere for her to go with the part; there's no sexual tension with Langdon, no understanding of the gravity of her situation and no belief in the ramifications of the central plot.

Sir Ian McKellen is always good value and he doesn't disappoint here, being the only person worth watching. He gives a delightfully mischievous performance as Sir Leigh Teabing. In many ways he's playing the stereotypical eccentric English gent, but he's clearly having fun with it. He knows the power of a twinkle in the eye and a spring in the step to get the audience on side. The rest of the supporting cast are given little to do; Alfred Molina shows potential as the improbably named Bishop Aringarosa, but is never given sufficient screen-time to build on the promise of menace. Jean Reno is woefully underused as shifty French detective Bezou Fache. One can only hope his French-language career is more successful than his English-language one.