Only 4 ops on here that generate money. Printer, Breadmaker, Just for Men & Wet N Wild. The others...
Only 4 ops on here that generate money. Printer, Breadmaker, Just for Men & Wet N Wild. The others are purely decorative. My stupid printer op is now worthy of 2p, but all reads were done before the payments. Ciao know best.
Member since:02.06.2001
Reviews:23
Members who trust:14
You have 60 seconds to read this op.
I often find that people use the word gratuitous gratuitously. A bit of ankle is gratuitous nudity, the odd heck is gratuitous language and the occasional stubbed toe is gratuitous violence. But this film is just that. Gratuitous to the extreme.
~Cast~
John Travolta..........Gabriel Shear Hugh Jackman.......Stanley Jobson Halle Berry..............Ginger Knowles Don Cheadle..........Agent A.D. Roberts Vinnie Jones..........Marco Camryn Grimes.....Holly Jobson Sam Shepard........Senator Reisman Rudolf Martin..........Axel Torvald Zach Grenier..........A.D. Joy Drea de Matteo.....Melissa Jobson
~Synopsis~
Stanley Jobson is a desperate computer expert who finds himself coerced into helping hack into complicated computer system in order to steal some vast sum of money that technically doesn't
exist by Gabriel Shear, a mysterious figure, who may or may not work for people in high places. Stanley finds himself battling not only for his own survival, but that of his estranged daughter in a tense game of cat & mouse. Or so someone called "Skip" seems to think.
If I wrote a movie I wouldn't want my name to be up on the big screen as Skip. It doesn't exactly inspire confidence, does it? It makes you picture a spotty youth in a backwards baseball cap, just writing a movie for fun, with lots of naked babes and chases and explosions and guns and porno video makers and computers. I can see him now with his Blink 182 t-shirt, while his mum shouts upstairs for him to empty the garbage. But not only did Skip Woods write this inane garbage, he was one of the producers too.
Well I didn't think Dom could outdo his amazingly awful Gone In 60 Seconds last summer, but he's really come up with the goods this time. If you thought I didn't like Tomb Raider, well that's Shakespeare in comparison to this nonsense. Again like Tomb Raider, the effects are absolutely amazing and really push the envelope. All the explosions are very loud and lovely and all the people blown up fly through the air very well.
I felt as though there were no consequences to anyone's actions. So, what happens to a helicopter that explodes and falls to the ground in the middle of a big city? Don't know? Neither do the film-makers. They just neglect to show the aftermath or to suggest accountability. I'm not asking for total watertight plots, but I do like sense.
Chase scenes just happened for no reason whatsoever as well, especially the rolling down a cliff sequence. Totally dumb and redundant as nothing was gained from this stunt. There is a very good car chase section, but even that had to resort to the clichés of driving through dark, cardboard box filled, back alleys, where big trucks just half appear, so the cars have to swerve. Then the car shoots out of the alley across a very busy road, narrowly avoiding all other vehicles and getting to the other side without a single scratch. It was almost a textbook case. And although there was mass carnage at this point, there was not a cop to be seen, only the hero and baddie being chased by other baddies.
The computer hacking scenes are also an insult to the intelligence. Film-makers seem to think that we know nothing about computers and that anyone can just type very fast into a computer and that a code will be cracked. Generally whatever they are typing is not viewed on the screen as it's not a DOS prompt they are using, but some snazzy graphical number dreamt up by the production designer to look "neat".
Talking about the "look" of the film, everything was shot through a yellow filter and so made everyone appear to be suffering from some form of liver disease.
Don't let anyone tell you that Battlefield Earth is Travolta's worst film as this one is his nadir. Hugh Jackman was admittedly rather good in the film and I hope it doesn't damage his career, but I can't help but think this film was actually written by a computer using a list of things.
Production Year: 1995 - Action/Adventure - Director: Tom Clegg - Original Language: English - Classification: 12 years and over - Starring:Sean Bean, Daragh O'Malley, Allie Byrne, Oliver Cotton, Emily Mortimer, Michael Cochrane
Production Year: 1964 - Action/Adventure - Director: Cyril Endfield - Original Language: English - Classification: Parental Guidance - Starring:Stanley Baker, Jack Hawkins, Ulla Jacobsson, James Booth, Michael Caine, Nigel Green
Production Year: 1996 - Action/Adventure - Director: Tom Clegg - Original Language: English - Classification: 12 years and over - Starring:Daragh O'Malley, Oliver Cotton, Jason Durr, Sean Bean, Allie Byrne
Production Year: 2002 - Action/Adventure - Director: Vincenzo Natali - Original Language: English - Classification: 15 years and over - Starring:Lucy Liu, David Hewlett, Anne Marie Scheffler, Joseph Scoren, Matthew Sharp, Jeremy Northam
Action/Adventure - Director: The Wachowski Brothers - Original Language: English - Classification: 15 years and over - Starring:Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving, Monica Bellucci, Jada Pinkett
The sort of action thriller for which the phrase "high octane" could have been ... more
conceived,Swordfishstars John Travolta as Gabriel Shear, an enigmatic criminal operator who is as admired as he is feared. Using sexy sidekick Ginger (Halle Berry) as bait, ...
Postage & Packaging: £1.21 Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days...
Log on, tap in and kick back for cyber-edged action and suspense. Your password for ... more
excitement is SWORDFISH.Use a computer, go to prison. The terms of Stanley Jobson's (Hugh Jackman - X-Men) parole are clear. Yet a $10 million payday awaits the super h...
The sort of action thriller for which the phrase "high octane" could have been ... more
conceived,Swordfishstars John Travolta as Gabriel Shear, an enigmatic criminal operator who is as admired as he is feared. Using sexy sidekick Ginger (Halle Berry) as bait, ...
Postage & Packaging: Free! Availability: Usually dispatched within 24 hours...
Log on. Hack in. Go anywhere. Steal everything. John Travolta stars as Gabriel Shear a ... more
sinister mastermind with an elite criminal crew who are desperately trying to access information locked inside a complicated computer system that contains governme...
Postage & Packaging: £0.00 Availability: 3-5 working days
Advantages: great acting from all involved, even Vinnie Jones!, Not the usual summer blockbuster, so offers something the others don’t., The directing and production, exemplified by the first few sequences of the film Disadvantages: Is a little inconsistent in places, Look at John Travolta’s hair cut!!
ickle_devil 06.08.2001 ·
Read review
Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful
Review of Swordfish (DVD)
![Swordfish [DVD] [2001]](http://picnicb.ciao.com/uk/78531121.jpg "Swordfish [DVD] [2001]")
Aug 1st, 2001
very helpful by (100%):
