Steve Irwin - The Crocodile Hunter - His Most Dangerous Adventures (DVD)

...you can never say that Steve Irwin is anything less than entertaining. I adore the kind of enthusiasm for his work which exudes from the Aussie zoologist and the seemingly insane disregard he exhibits for his own personal safety in every documetary and now on the cinema screen. Umm, but objectively The Crocodile Hunter is not only a ludicrous concept, but also really badly edited and executed to the point where it almost feels as if you are channel ...
...never seen or heard of Steve Irwin then you'll be left completely bemused by this movie and probably a little confused by this review, so lets have a little background. Steve is a naturalist and director of Australia Zoo in Queensland since 1992. That same year he married his wife Terri, an American who also appears in the movie with him and in most of the Crocodile Hunter documentaries I've seen which show regularly on The Discovery Channel and ... more

The Crocodile Hunter is going to go down as the very worst movie to make the cinema screens this year. I'm not usually brave enough to make claims like that but this is such a bizarre concept and such an appaulingly crafted movie that I really don't feel like I'm going out on any kind of limb by saying that at all! Umm, that is unless Quentin Tarrantino is thinking of sneaking a live action remake of Bambi unannounced on us of course...

Now, in saying that, it doesn't mean that I didn't *like* the movie myself, because I am rather partial to complete trash on the movie screen just so long as it is entertaining trash and you can never say that Steve Irwin is anything less than entertaining. I adore the kind of enthusiasm for his work which exudes from the Aussie zoologist and the seemingly insane disregard he exhibits for his own personal safety in every documetary and now on the cinema screen. Umm, but objectively The Crocodile Hunter is not only a ludicrous concept, but also really badly edited and executed to the point where it almost feels as if you are channel hopping between a bad spy thriller on Sky Movies and an animal documentary on The Discovery Channel...but let's explain.

If you've never seen or heard of Steve Irwin then you'll be left completely bemused by this movie and probably a little confused by this review, so lets have a little background. Steve is a naturalist and director of Australia Zoo in Queensland since 1992. That same year he married his wife Terri, an American who also appears in the movie with him and in most of the Crocodile Hunter documentaries I've seen which show regularly on The Discovery Channel and now quite often on terrestrial TV as well. The son of renowned naturalists Bob and Lyn Irwin, Steve was taught literally everything there is to know about reptiles, right down to how to catch crocodiles at night bare-handed when only 9 years old!...By leaping from a boat onto their backs in the river in a true Tarzan style(!) just to give you a taste of what this guy gets up to! That interest extended to animals of all shapes and forms other than reptiles as he got older although spiders seem way down his list of favourite things it has to be said - and who could blame him when they are so damn big over in Oz?! Every animal in Animal Zoo has been caught by Steve or his father's bare hands or bred there and he has scar upon scar to prove it, yet has never once been bitten...miraculous when you consider the kind of risks he seems to constantly take! The guy comes across as quite insane, but you've gotta love him and he has been making animal documentaries with Terri in his own exuberant style for over 10 years when a chance encounter with a TV producer at his zoo launched his TV and now (surely very short) movie career.

Erm, the 'plot', what little there is of it, goes a little somethin' like this: Steve and Terri with Sui in tow are called in to relocate a couple of troublesome crocodiles, one of which is terrorising a ranch owner's farm and gobbling her cattle - and in danger of getting both barrels of a shotgun if the ranch owner gets her way. The problem is, a metal core containing top secret information which could "change the world order" has plummeted to earth after the explosion of a US satellite and been promptly gobbled by the aforementioned croc which leads the pursuing secret agents to believe Irwin guilty of being an international spy himself and having found the item, to be attempting to sell it to the highest bidder. Of course, it's actually in the croc's belly and Irwin is transporting the croc up-stream to a safer place and believes the guys following are poachers intent on turn his croc into a handbag which lays a weak basis for a comedy of errors...

Irwin describes this movie as being about conservation and showing pretty much exactly the kind of thing he and Terri get up to all the time in Australia in their quest to protect and preserve Australia's natural heritage, which his part in the movie *is* for 90% of the time because he just does his wildife program stint, but of course it wouldn't be a movie without a little 'plot' thrown in too. This is some bizarre hybrid of nature program and spy thriller as Irwin and Terri (and dog Sui) go about doing the usual kind of thing they do for the Discovery Channel documentaries, nabbing snakes by the tail, demonstrating a spider's bite and wrestling crocodiles whilst enthusing over how one bite from these "little beauties" could kill 140 men their size etc. and telling us how important it is to preserve these dangerous critters, whilst US secret agents run around in the background trying to find the missing part of a satellite which crashed to Earth in the Australian outback. It seriously DOES feel like you are channel hopping between an episode of The Crocodile Hunter and an American TV movie, but it's still quite entertaining in a "what-the-hell?!" kind of way!

It's a complete mess in terms of editing, plot, script and everything else to be honest but it's also kinda fun. It's difficult to explain why and no one is going to reach the end credits and think "wow! that was great!" but Irwin's enthusiasm is infectious even though his movie sucks quite badly in all other regards. There's something strangely alluring about watching an Aussie nutjob wrestling a real live crocodile in his natural water habitat without any kind of protection or back-up or lassoing them like a rodeo star or generally falling into the swamp, being whacked by branches, jumping in the dust or waving poisonous snakes around by the tail which just can't be explained. I suppose one appeal is the lack of animatronics because all these critters are the real deal, the danger is very real and the fear and concern on Terri's face is equally real for a change. The most intelligent behaviour comes from Sui's who tends to scarper whenever a croc gets a little frisky lol!

There'll certainly be times when you find yourself on the edge of your seat as Steve gets chased around by a feisty croc or shrinking back in horror and revulsion at the hideousness of the bird eating spider and there are a few comic moments if you're a fan of slapstick or just plain enamoured by Steve's almost insane enthusiasm, even if his entire script seems to consist of NOTHING more than "Crikey!" and "Have a go at this [beauty/critter/lovely/whopper]", for large sections of the movie! If you do watch, count the number of each - I swear they're both in double figures! Ultimately, the good bits of this 'movie' are a kind of stylised version of what you can see for free on the Discovery Channel, or occasionally on terrestrial television these days so it's difficult to recommend shelling out cold hard cash to watch what is undoubtedly an inferior product due to the ludicrous spy plot which is obviously shoe-horned in to justify a cinema showing. Wait for the video release if you are even slightly interested in seeing this, or avoid entirely if Irwin's style annoys you because it's ramped up here if you ever thought that possible!

2 stars for being "so bad it's good" from my point of view, 1 star if you've never heard of Steve Irwin because you'll probably be a little lost as to just what the hell the point of the movie is and 0 stars if you find the guy irritating - he gets a 100% strike-out rate so far from my friends and family... :o( 

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