Apart from being intrigued by the title, I fancied seeing this film because of the cast list: Johnny Vegas and Mackenzie Crook (Gareth from The Office) play two of the lead roles, and that was enough to convince me that it could be a film worth seeing. Or at least that if would have a couple of decent laughs in it. BIG mistake! Typically I hadn’t bothered to check any of the reviews about the film which slated it, or I certainly wouldn’t have bothered going.
The plot follows the sex lives of four brummie potato-delivery men. Now, you can infer that much from the title, but what you can’t grasp from that alone is that that really is ALL there is to it. This is not “the love lives of the potato men” (as I thought it might have been) or “the lives of the potato men and their hopes and dreams” or anything else at all about the potato men. It’s about who they shag, how they shag, and how often they shag. No, sorry, I’m being too hasty. Sometimes they drink beer too.
It’s about porn, masturbation, oral sex,
desperation, and orgies. Oh, and strawberry jam and fish paste sandwiches. If that sounds gross, it’s because it is. Simply being just about sex is maybe not enough to drag it down into the depths of Worst Film Ever Made on it’s own, but the film needs no help to get there regardless. Apparently the idea in making the film was to imitate the Confessions genre of the 1970s or the Carry On films, or to create something in-between. But to achieve that it would have to be at least a little bit funny and quite sexy too, and it isn’t.
The four potato men live disgusting lives. They live in disgusting conditions (sleeping anywhere they can find), have disgusting morals (sleeping with anyone they can find) and are generally pigs. Dave is in the process of separating from his wife and looking for some new and exciting sex. Pretty much any sex, really. Ferris will sleep with anything that moves, including his mother-in-law, since he’s living under her roof and can’t afford to say no. Jeremy wants his ex-girlfriend back to the point of kidnapping her dog to get her attention, and Tolly is the freakiest of the lot, being left with distinctly weird taste in sandwiches after being dumped by his wife.
It’s all porn and masturbation and blow jobs and it’s just not nice. I’m not being prudish: it’s really just not nice. I don’t mind sex in movies: if it’s Colin Firth or Jude Law I’m quite happy to watch it. What I really don’t want to see is Johnny Vegas getting his kit off. That may make me shallow or prejudiced or whatever else you want to call it, but that’s the way it is, and I don’t think I’m alone. Generally speaking, I prefer to watch beautiful people in films, knowing full well that beautiful people aren’t reality. But I don’t go to the cinema to see reality: I could go to the pub to watch ugly people lusting after one another. I go to the cinema for escapism. I can see that to flout the established tradition of using sexy actresses and actors could be purposefully making some salient point, and that if done well, it could even work. But this isn’t, and it doesn’t.
To describe any of it as “Plot” is probably stretching it a little too far. In so far as there is one, it switches from one potato man to the next, rolling from one horribly unfunny scene to the next. There are pauses which feel deliberately put there to give you space to laugh, but the script just isn’t good enough to make you want to start. It’s repetitive, and bland, and schoolboyish, and awful.
If 8 year old boys knew all about sex, they might find it funny. There might even be some appeal for adolescent boys, if they are particularly stupid ones. But otherwise I can’t see it appealing to anyone except the lowest common denominator, since they’re the only ones who will sympathise with the characters in it.
This is a very depressing moment in British Cinema History. Scarily enough the guy who wrote this pile of crap, Andy Humphries, once won Mastermind. I think his specialised subject must have been Convincing Good Comedians to make Bad Films.
Don’t bother.
Cert: 18
How helpful would this review be to a person making a buying decision? Rating guidelines
Comedy - Original Language: English - Classification: 12 years and over - Starring: Tessa Peake-Jones, Buster Merryfield, David Jason, Nicholas Lyndhurst
(+) Because of the new series the box set isn't complete, which means it will be cheaper! (-) It isnt the complete box set so you'll have to buy the new dvds seperatly or wait for the new set!
Production Year: 2003 - Comedy - Director: John Crowley - Original Language: English - Classification: 18 years and over - Starring: Colin Farrell, Shirley Henderson, Cillian Murphy, Colm Meaney, Rory Keenan, Laurence Kinlan
I was looking forward to watching this, but it is the worst film I have ever seen.
Great review
Kirsty1 29.08.2004 19:50
Guess what. I'm reading this op because my friend has just rented this out for us to watch tonight. Deep joy. At least I can brace myself now I know how bad it is I guess... Kirstyxx
Soho_Black 31.03.2004 22:26
I have yet to see anything good said about this film. As I can't stand Johnny Vegas and never watched "The Office", the standard reasons it might appeal anyway are lost on me, so definitely one I'll avoid with pleasure!
SEX LIVES OF THE POTATO MEN follows the antics of Dave, Ferris, Tolly and Jeremy, four ... more
potato delivery men from Birmingham, whose sole purpose in life is the pursuit of beer and sex. SEX LIVES OF THE POTATO MEN explores just how stupid blokes are when ...
![Sex Lives Of The Potato Men [DVD] [2004]](http://picnica.ciao.com/uk/78514810.jpg "Sex Lives Of The Potato Men [DVD] [2004]")
Mar 9th, 2004
very helpful by (98%):
helpful by (2%):
