Sometimes you can look forward to a movie for a considerable time and when you actually get to see the film it's incredibly disappointing, this was very much the case with Severance; a movie described as having laugh out loud comedy mixed with gory horror. For me, only one part of the claim was delivered; making for me the movie a pale imitation of much better things.
I was prepared for the worst being as it features naff "I can only play myself" actor Danny Dyer. That cheesy grin and big time friends is the only reason he manages to stay around in the British film industry. In the movie he plays a drug addicted work colleague for a arms and defence contractor, the drug factor really has no purpose as part of the story; I put it forward that Danny probably turned up so smacked out of his head each day that it was simply best to cast him as some sort of junkie. What was a nice surprise was to see Dead Like Me actress Laura Harris; at this point future hopes for the movie were on the increase. Those hopes were not lived as she was cast as
playing someone who seemed to have little compassion for others and was certainly devoid of emotion. A sharp comparison to her warm and very giving role in Dead Like Me.
The idea of the movie is that a group of workers get together for a team building weekend in Hungary. The group is slightly more than slightly dysfunctional with a few displaying clear dislike for the others. No sooner have they arrived in Hungary than they fall out with their driver who kicks them off the coach, leaving them to trek through a forest to their woodland lodge; however unbeknown to them a violent killer is on the loose.
For me, this "comedy" horror offered not one laugh, not even the hint of a smile. As for the horror element, that was more acceptable, probably more acceptable still if it did not look and feel exactly like it was trying to cash in off the back of Hostel's popularity. Severance is a dreadfully overlong story that's plot is so familiar, even to someone that does not watch horror movies. DRAB, is a good word. If Channel Five made movies, this would be it! The movie delivers nothing new, and frequently has unusual pauses like the movie is about to swing into a commercial break. No explanation is ever offered either, for pretty much anything. Why are they on this team building weekend? Why Hungary? Why are they being pursued by said killer(s)? Why do they appear to dislike each other? At least with other similar movies explanations for various story plots is given.
I thought at one point I had endured more than enough, but the final kick was in the nasty cliché ending, which really gave me no glimmer of anything. It was echoed the endings those nasty straight to video movies the 1980's offered, but in my mind it was a much lesser offering.
The majority of the cast are pretty much nonexistent, certainly not people that seem to have much involvement in the story; you could actually say that their purpose is just plot device; they are quite simply there to die. Another element of hollowness comes from this in the sense that these "characters to die" are given the thinnest of plotlines, that seem hurriedly finished off (like some of my reviews I hear you cry).
I have to commend on the other hand the production team, for the special effects; which often are quite lame but at other times reasonably impressive. In particular when one character loses their leg in a bear trap, bearing in mind of course this is a low budget British movie. But the leg situation is then ruined by some supposed humour where it is decided that if they put the leg in a fridge it may be able to be reattached later, cheesy actor Danny Dyer plods up to the fridge and removes the sock from the foot as if to make it easier to fit into the fridge. HA HA Hilarity ensues, oh dear God I wish!
I was fortunate to be watching this movie with a group of people, from a variety of age groups, with different ideas of what makes a good film, one of which thought the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Commando was the best movie he had ever seen. Upon the movie wrapping up, we all had similar views; Severance would appeal to someone who has lived in a cave, or to be more derogatory "the lowest common denominator" (I'll be interested to see the scathing comments added to this). Would I watch Severance again? I'd sooner masturbate with a nail filled glove, twice in fact! I can't advise anyone to watch this; though I'm sure some Danny Dyer completist will rush out and see this as if it were part of a shopping list of bad food.
I watched the rental version of the DVD which featured a scattering of trailers. This was rented from Blockbuster as part of an all in package by one of my fellow viewers. There is of course a retail version which you can purchase from Play.com for around £5.
This is the revised version of a previous review of the movie I had written removed for being "offensive" in case any part of this seems familiar.
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Ah yes.... I remember describing this to a friend as "the Citizen Kane of Danny Dyer flicks. So, still awful then". And it is.
Seresecros 05.10.2007 15:50
Is there any way we could create a petition to send Danny Dyer far, far away from our movie industry?
Ali1000 04.10.2007 18:26
I didn't hate it as much as you obviously did although it was decidedly average. "Why are they on this team building weekend? Why Hungary? Why are they being pursued by said killer(s)? Why do they appear to dislike each other?" All of these things are explained in the movie, if you are paying attention ;-) But I won't insist you sit through it again to see! (I'd rather hear your review of the alternative...)
Another bloody office outing..... When weapons multi-national Palisade Defense reward ... more
their European sales division with a team-building weekend in the mountains of Eastern Europe the team fight first amongst themselves and later for survival agains...
Postage & Packaging: £0.00 Availability: 3-5 working days
Following a boom in military arms sales, the team at Palisade Defence are rewarded with a ... more
team-building weekend in the wilds of Eastern Europe. But what begins as a corporate jolly rapidly descends into a deadly nightmare as they are pitched into a ter...
Advantages: Good british film with excellent british actors, a lot of suspense in some parts! Disadvantages: Danny Dyer just doesn't suit this role at all!
tonyanwas 16.01.2007 ·
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Review of Severance (DVD)
![Severance [DVD] [2006]](http://picnicb.ciao.com/uk/78191431.jpg "Severance [DVD] [2006]")
Oct 3rd, 2007
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