Rush Hour 2 (DVD)

...out the DVD release of Rush Hour 2 – This Time It’s Really Personal, Honest Guv'ner.

***YER BASIC PLOT***
Basic ain’t the word… Continuing straight on from the end of Rush Hour, Detective Carter (Chris Tucker) is vacationing in Hong Kong with his buddy Detective Lee (Jackie Chan). Lee is very devoted to his work, and as he shows Carter around his city, gets involved with a mystery bomber case after two ...
...it over. If the first Rush Hour was set up as a showboat for Jackie Chan’s big USA comeback (and it was), then this is extra sugar on the pancake.

So, with that in mind, and the premise of the movie tucked into your brain firmer than a fish into a keyhole, what of the DVD extras that promise to enrich your life and make sitting in front of your TV lean just the right side of educational?

Like De La Soul and Chaka ... more

A wise man once said; “sequels are whore’s movies”. Still, another wise man probably said “Oh no, I’ve sh*t myself again", so you can’t exactly rely on what they have to say. What you CAN rely on is that if Hollywood has managed to make an unexpected amount of money on an action flick, odds are that they’ll bump out another sequel before you can say, “I wonder if they’ll make a sequel to that?” So, while we await “Pearl Harbour 2 – This Time It’s Personal”, let’s all turn our brains to fun and check out the DVD release of Rush Hour 2 – This Time It’s Really Personal, Honest Guv'ner.

***YER BASIC PLOT***
Basic ain’t the word… Continuing straight on from the end of Rush Hour, Detective Carter (Chris Tucker) is vacationing in Hong Kong with his buddy Detective Lee (Jackie Chan). Lee is very devoted to his work, and as he shows Carter around his city, gets involved with a mystery bomber case after two workers at the American Embassy get blowed up. This in turn leads to the mismatched pair stumbling onto a plot to counterfeit a big pile of cash and launder it through a casino. They save the day. Finish.
* * * * * *

What more is there to this film? Well, er, Tucker shoots his mouth off and Chan gets into some fights. Then they switch roles a bit. Oh, and they save the day. This really isn’t The Usual Suspects, y’know? You don’t have to pay much attention, feel free to do the ironing while it’s on, or walk the dog or whatever. In fact, why not just put it on and leave the room. Like Sunset Beach, you can dip in and out of this and never feel like you have to watch it over. If the first Rush Hour was set up as a showboat for Jackie Chan’s big USA comeback (and it was), then this is extra sugar on the pancake.

So, with that in mind, and the premise of the movie tucked into your brain firmer than a fish into a keyhole, what of the DVD extras that promise to enrich your life and make sitting in front of your TV lean just the right side of educational?

Like De La Soul and Chaka Khan said – “it ain’t all good. And that’s the truth.”

***THE DVD EXTRAS***

*Special Stuff I Found*
Beyond the very slick and well made introduction and menu system, in the chapter selection, Ben done gone found some secrets! Go to chapters 7-8 in the selection screen, and choose the fortune cookie with the question mark and the dragon (it’s presented in a fruit machine format, which is very nice!). Your reward – a trailer for Lord Of The Rings! Another one is to be found in the 15-16 section, marked with a number 7. Enjoy! Oh, and also, watch right to the end of the credits to learn that “no chickens were harmed in the making of this movie.” Okaaaay...

*Jackie Chan’s Hong Kong Tour*
Now then, when you hear the word “tour”, what immediately springs into your mind (except a sun-dried Judith Chalmers)? A look at various places of interest in a foreign or unfamiliar town/city etc, yes? Not to the producers of the RH2 DVD! Jackie Chan speaks from inside a cardboard box (by the sound of it) for TWO WHOLE MINUTES over a video montage of Hong Kong scenery. It’s short. It’s uninformative. It’s BAD.

*Culture Clash*
The first in (way too many) behind the scenes “insights”. Director Brett Ratner and his bunch of evil henchmen speak their brains about the various facets of working in Hong Kong. DID YOU KNOW THEY SPEAK A WHOLE DIFFERENT LANUGAGE OVER THERE? Suck on a brick and call me Diane, who would have thunk it? Still, kind of interesting to learn that Jackie Chan holds quite a bit of sway over in HK, even with the government!

*Language Barrier*
From the cryptic title for this feature, I didn’t know WHAT to expect! Ahem. It’s more of the same, not too interesting at all.

*Attaining International Stardom*
The titles of these segments are more impressive than the segments themselves, which ain’t exactly a credit to the folks over at New Line. It’s funnier than the previous segments, but still a bit patchy. At this point I was in the kitchen trying to prise the crumbs out of the toaster with my penis. Whilst it was plugged in.

*Kung Fu Choreography*
An impressive documentary that matches up quite well to the behind the scenes footage on the Matrix DVD. This has already been said about a completely different movie. This feature is as informative as an episode of Esther. And... *smeck* what’s that *smeck* noise? Oh, I know *smeck*, it’s the sound of a$$es being kissed! A huge amount of *smeck* it! Sorry folks, it’s time to get your rod out, because you’ll be fishing for interesting tidbits.

*Lady Luck*
Makes you think it’ll be another annoying featurette on the movie, doesn’t it? Well, HA! Think again bigshot! It’s Brett Ratner’s p*ss-poor student movie. Confusingly, it was made as a silent movie, but Ratner provides a (non-optional) commentary over the top of it, ruining any dramatic impetus. Not that it would have any anyway...

*Making Magic Out Of Mire*
Oh my goddess. Punish me no more, I absolve all my sins, I have intercoursed several times and in lots of positions. Just as f**ked is yet ANOTHER short making of, the subject of which is direction, yet paradoxically lacks any of its own. There are some Chris Tucker outtakes, around 5 seconds of Lalo Schifrin (the movie’s composer) kissing a$$, and some dull location scouting. To add insult to injury (I had at this point received third degree burns from the toaster, and got crumbs in a place crumbs should never reach), the stunt co-ordinator compares the director’s train of thought to Michelangelo. And I don’t mean the ninja turtle, no matter how more accurate that may be.

*Evolution Of A Scene*
Have you ever seen The Big Lebowski? I just had one of the scenes pop into my mind, when the pederast bowler Jesus is taunting the hapless trio, he cries “Ha! Laughable, man!”, and via transitive property perfectly summing up this section. 3 scenes are taken apart – “Chicken Chop”, “The Bomb” and “Slide For Life”. When I say taken apart – what actually happens is more DULL location scouting (basically folks wandering around going “I like this place”) and Brett sharing the notion that the best filmmakers put a little piece of themselves on screen. Which would make him a vaguely racist kung-fu comedian.

*Fashion Of Rush Hour 2*
Sorry dear reader, it gets worse. A quick musical montage of the cast wearing clothes passes by, until FINALLY a decent bit, some Jeremy Piven outtakes, which are very funny. Then some more musical montages... Worth watching for the funnies, but this is almost the worst extra feature. ALMOST. Until...

*Visual Effects Deconstruction*
A 30 second intro from a random SFX guy leads to a 30 second “feature” on an effects shot, which you have to watch 4 times. The same scene. FOUR TIMES. Consider buying a toaster.

Before I go on, a further rant – each of the behind the scenes features listed above have an IDENTICAL credits sequence at the end of them. Whoever thought this would be a good idea should be smothered in candyfloss and then left near a beehive.

*Deleted Scenes/Outtakes*
9 deleted scenes in fact, and brand new (not very good) outtakes. There I was expecting the same outtakes as appear at the end of the feature – easy to be cynical after the crap that was the last load of “extras”. Anyhoo, you can play the deleted scenes one by one, or one after the other, which is a nice touch. You can turn on director’s commentary for these scenes, but I shouldn’t bother, as Ratner is the champion of stating the obvious, as well as moaning about one scene he thinks is the worst thing he’s ever shot. Hmm, he must have forgotten he made “Money Talks”. The scenes are obviously varied in quality, my favourite being “Wacky Bomb Chase”. Some of them would have been great in the movie, but were cut for pacing reasons. They are no longer than 40 seconds.

*Trailers*
Three of ‘em – two teasers and one proper. I’ve said it before, and will once more – if you’ve bought the movie, why watch the trailers?

*Cast & Crew*
The usual badly laid out screens, with info on Chris Tucker, Jackie Chan, Alan King (Stephen Raine – the bad guy), Roselyn Sanchez (Isabella Molina – the good girl - OR IS SHE?), Harris Yulin (Agent Sterling) and Crouching Tiger’s Zhang Ziyi (Hu Li – the bad girl, definitely). Oh, and Brett Ratner. Each profile has an analysis of their personality based on the Chinese animal birth year symbols. We must ask – WHY?

*Audio/Subtitles*
English Dolby Digital EX 5.1, English DTS ES 6.1 and English stereo surround. Subtitles only in English. Be warned, the subtitles are pretty inaccurate, missing out words and even shortening some speeches – sloppy.

*Director/Writer Commentary*
I learned the following from the rather insipid ramblings of Mr Ratner:

 The introductory shot of the camera panning over Hong Kong had to be added because test audiences DIDN’T KNOW THE MOVIE WAS SET IN HONG KONG. Who did they show it to, some plankton, 5 grapes and a bit of Fuzzy Felt?
 Ratner’s idea of commentary is not to provide a lot of behind the scenes insight but rather to repeat himself, cut in when someone else is speaking, and tell you exactly what is happening on screen.
 Ratner likes movies. Especially his own ones. You can tell because all he seems to say is “I like this line, I like this scene, I don’t like this, this is a great shot, Jackie Chan is great” yada yada yada.
 Both the writer and the director seem to be obsessed with Crouching Tiger, and love to point out that their stunts are all real, unlike the aforementioned martial-arthouse film. Hmm, that’ll be why they used blue screen then.

Crunch time – this will be one of the BBC’s big Xmas movies at some point. It’s averagely offensive (some racist jibes), averagely action packed and quite funny. I feel like I shouldn’t have bothered watching this at the cinema, ‘cause this is the perfect lazy night in film. There may be more laughs than lacerations, but Lalo Schifrin’s score adds a little class to the fun, there are some cool cameos (Don Cheadle! Yessss!) and it NEVER takes itself seriously (check out Chan’s first ever listen to the horrid P Diddy “Every Breath You Take” reworking/tribute to Biggie).

BEFORE I FORGET there’s a strange quirk of the script that leads to a rather good drinking game, Just neck a shot of your favourite liquor each time the main characters shout each other’s name. You’ll be on the floor quicker than a horny carpet salesperson.

So, if you liked Beverly Hills Cop, 48 Hours and another film about crime and wise-cracking African-American gentlemen without Eddie Murphy in it (um…Money Train anyone? ANYONE?), then give this a blast. Just ignore the extras, which are pants. Less Rush Hour, more Rush Limbaugh, I'm afraid.

Thanks for reading!

© P$ 2002

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Links:

www.rushhour2.com - official webshite. Irritating flash and the like. Avoid.

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Main Cast:

Detective Carter – Chris Tucker
Detective Lee – Jackie Chan
Hu Li – Zhang Ziyi
Ricky Tan – John Lowe
Stephen Raine – Alan King
Isabella Molina - Roselyn Sanchez
Agent Sterling - Harris Yulin

“Directed” by Brett Ratner
Written by Jeff Nathanson
Based on characters created by Ross La Manna
 

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