£16 in premium fund, thanks Ciao :-). You can also read my reviews at http://lou-reviews.blogspot.co...
£16 in premium fund, thanks Ciao :-). You can also read my reviews at http://lou-reviews.blogspot.co m/
Member since:25.11.2008
Reviews:136
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Synopsis
Mall Cop is about a security guard who has delusions of grandeur. He wants to join the state troopers, but fails the assault course because his hypoglycaemia makes him collapse.
Paul is a chucky, overweight guy, whose lack of a love life seems to be of more concern to his mother and daughter, than to Paul himself. Because he has his eyes on Amy, who’s recently set up a stall in the middle of the mall.
On Black Friday, which is the busiest year of the shopping calendar a gang of thieves, armed with a gun and skateboards enters the mall and take 6 people hostage, one of whom is Amy.
Paul is determined to protect the mall and save the hostages, and sets out on his bungling mission.
My Thoughts
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The first thought that popped into my head when it finished was ‘oh my good god’ (well that’s the cleaned up version anyway). How on earth did this film even make it off the cutting room floor, never mind onto the big screen and DVD. It’s the most awful film I’ve ever had the misfortune to watch, it’s robbed me of a hour and a half of my life that I’ll never get back.
The storyline is an absolute pile of rubbish, and so unbelievable. The fat, nerdy, 38 year old bloke who still lives with his mummy, falls for the young, slim, pretty woman, who has men drooling over her left, right and centre. And does she fall for the cocksure one, the rich one, the good looking one? No she goes for the idiot!! Give me a break, she wouldn’t have even given him a second glance, never mind gone out of her way to speak to him.
And what sort of thieves go to a shopping mall and take crates specially packed with skate boards and kiddie bikes? Even the kids said ‘what are those idiots doing?’
Don’t get me started on the ‘twist’ at the end, what drunken brainstorming (oops sorry thought shower for all you PC people) session did that come from, because no one in their right mind would add that to the end of a film.
The acting was no better than the story; the type of humour they were going for might have worked, had they cast someone who could deliver dead pan humour. Unfortunately Kevin James who played Paul wouldn’t know comic timing if it hit him in the face (going by this performance anyway) and every single joke or comic element fell absolutely flat. Normally my kids laugh themselves silly at any humour that involves bodily noises or slapstick accidents, but there wasn’t a peep out of them throughout the film.
DVD Extras
Not a lot here either, a commentary, a couple of trailers and some deleted scenes. We watched the deleted scenes in the hopes that there might be some bloopers that were actually funny. But the deleted scenes were as poor as the film itself.
How helpful would this review be to a person making a buying decision? Rating guidelines
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Sep 4th, 2009
very helpful by (100%):
