There comes a time when you feel you have awoken in a parallel universe, around Christmas time I awoke to watch the highly acclaimed No Reservations a movie that's advertising could not be missed anywhere last summer. When I say I awoke, I generally work nights and mid shift always go off somewhere quiet for a short power nap. Upon waking up I felt something was unusually wrong, but having asked my work colleagues it appeared everything was right, better still all required tasks were done so it was quite simply a case of watching a DVD and making myself available as or when required. My choice of movie was this apparent Blockbuster that had audiences "in stitches".
First I must add No Reservations is a remake of a German movie called Martha AKA Bella Martha, to me the fact that a movie from another country (or no doubt as its viewed from the US "The Third World")
must have a certain something about it. Happily I sat down to watch the movie, because my previous movie that evening had been quite tragic.
All started well, there may have been something that may have at the very least cause a smile as leading actress Catherine Zeta-Jones as Kate has minor disagreements with guests at a restaurant where she is the head chef. Then Kate's life is turned upside down as her sister who is on the way to visit is killed in a tragic car crash, I say tragic but this is actually the most rewarding part of the movie. The result of this car crash is that Kate is left the soul custodian of her niece Zoe, played by the obnoxious Abigail Breslin. From there on a little cooking rivalry with Nick (Aaron Eckhart), and childhood woes cause Kate's life to turn upside down, then hilarity ensues.
Actually that's far from the case, I never laughed once, and find it difficult in honesty to remember if I ever even smiled, I have a suspicion I never. What I find most disturbing is that I actually sat through and watched this movie for its duration, well kind of. I must add at this point that No Reservations is not a bad movie; it's just not that good; certainly not so good as to have me in stitches, or rolling in the aisles. The result on me with No Reservations was that I slipped off to sleep for a twenty minute period. Having woken up and being too lazy to skip back a chapter or two I was gobsmacked to discover that I actually had missed nothing, and the effect of my sleep was no different to running to the kitchen for a cuppa.
No Reservations delivers nothing new, how many times have you seen a movie in which a spinster type woman is forced to raise a relatives child? Chances are you have seen at least one or two; generally these movies have the odd little shock, or twist to keep the momentum going. But here I find nothing out of the ordinary, ten minutes in I could plot the movies journey and found upon completion I was 100% correct, unless of course I missed anything during my 20 minute nap.
Catherine Zeta-Jones has got old, and in this case quite fierce looking maybe that's the result of being married of a pensioner. And I guess in reality she does the best that she possibly could with the material she is given. Aaron Eckhart on the other hand is relatively bland, and seems to be playing the same character he played in another couple of movies. Abigail Breslin is the most annoying, and I appreciate that again it's the material she is given, but even so I can't help but hate this child actor or at the very least the character she plays. How on Earth a child can run off so many times or through so many strops in one movie is completely beyond me.
I would love to live in a world where this movie could be enjoyable, and I'd also like to personally meet someone who finds this movie hysterical so I can slap them round the face screaming "Get a grip!" No Reservations offers nothing that the afternoon TV movie on some obscure cable or satellite channel will offer you, the only advantage is a series of "known" actors, most of whom do the best they can with the incredibly hollow subject matter.
I watched this on DVD, but was so annoyed having wasted 100 minutes of my time I refused to watch the special features. Please take my advice and avoid this film until it turns up on TV in a year or so.
No Reservations is available to purchase or rent on DVD from 28th of January.
Spencer Hawken 01/08
How helpful would this review be to a person making a buying decision? Rating guidelines
Comedy - Original Language: English - Classification: 12 years and over - Starring: Tessa Peake-Jones, Buster Merryfield, David Jason, Nicholas Lyndhurst
Comedy - Director: Richard Boden, Mandie Fletcher, Martin Shardlow - Original Language: English - Classification: 15 years and over - Starring: Hugh Laurie, Miranda Richardson, Stephen Fry, Brian Blessed, Tim McInnerny, Tony Robinson, Rowan Atkinson
Well, I won't be losing any sleep about watching this one.
koshkha 05.01.2008 12:25
CZ-J really has done some crap films hasn't she? You'd think she'd get better advice. I hated her in Terminal - one of the worst films I've seen in a long time - and it sounds like this one is just as much of a lemon.
MAFARRIMOND 05.01.2008 08:23
I didn't find it hysterical so thankfully I won't live in fear of you slapping me and telling me to get a grip. I did qite enjoy it however. Catherine Zeta-Jones did look old! Maureen x x
Jan 3rd, 2008
very helpful by (100%):
