Houston, we have a BIG problem.
 Apr 6th, 2001
(Oct 14th, 2001)
Advantages:
So bad it's good .
Disadvantages:
It's still bad .
Recommendable:
No
Detailed rating:
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  Howiemon
About me:
If life hands you a lemon, you make lemonade, right? So what happens if life hands you a kumquat
Member since:21.10.2000
Reviews:60
Members who trust:40
Review rated by 31 Ciao members on average: very helpful 
With all the fuss surrounding the 1998 box-office clash of 'Armageddon' vs 'Deep Impact', it's easy to forget that Hollywood had covered the 'Giant Asteroid on Collision Course with Earth' premise almost twenty years previously with 'Meteor'. Released in 1979, this was supposedly the disaster movie to end all disaster movies. 'Avalanche' had it's avalanche, 'Earthquake' had it's earthquake, 'Hurricane' had it's tidal-wave but this had a bit of everything with the added bonus of an impressive, all-star cast to back up the spectacle.
However, dismal reviews and an audience already given a taste of the future with Star Wars meant that 'Meteor' nose-dived spectacularly at the box-office.
Which is a shame because despite the dated Cold-War plot-device and some unintentionally hammy moments, there is still a great deal of fun to be had here.
Sean Connery heads the cast, as an American scientist who designs an orbiting nuclear-missile platform intended to deflect any approaching cosmic threat, but the 'Suits' at NASA think it would be a better idea to use the platform as a weapon and aim the nukes at the Soviet Union instead.
However, when the Big Kahuna really does head our way, thanks to a collision between a comet and a city-sized chunk in the Asteroid Belt, Connery is hastily drafted into leading the team of boffins assigned to turn the platform around and fire off the missiles at the big rock.
Unfortunately, the combined nuclear capacity of the U.S. space arsenal is not enough to do the job entirely, so an uneasy alliance with the Russians, who also have illegal strategic missiles in space, is achieved. It then becomes a race against time, as smaller pieces of the asteroid obliterate various parts of Earth, to coordinate the two missile systems, and launch a strike at the deadly visitor. As well as the ever watchable Connery, the supporting cast is top-notch. Brian Keith (speaking genuine Russian throughout his role) is a hoot as a gregarious Russian team leader ably assisted and interpreted by Natalie Wood in one of her final screen appearances. Henry Fonda shows up as the President with Karl Malden playing Connery's friend and NASA advisor and - ever wary of those pesky Russkies - Martin Landau does a campy bit as a paranoid military liaison. Watch out too for Sybil Danning (before B-movie stardom) in a small cameo role as a doomed Swiss skier.
On a technical level, 'Meteor' can't possibly hope to compete with the more recent asteroid flicks - the special effects veer wildly between excellent and laughable. However, the editing and camera work are competent enough (just!) and a gorgeous, operatic score by Laurence Rosenthal helps the proceedings enormously.
The real fun though comes from watching these tried and trusted Hollywood heavyweights wrestling with some truly awful dialogue, in particular Natalie Wood's spectacularly badly written translator, who becomes romantically drawn towards Connery. Cringe City!
A sharper script and a little more attention to detail in the FX department could have turned this nostalgic, Seventies hokum into a force to be reckoned with. While writing the first draft of this review I was completely unaware that 'Meteor' has recently been re-released on region 1 DVD, which can be yours for about £17. However, featuring only an enhanced widescreen picture and the original trailer this offers little more than the British video-version which can usually be picked up in the Bargain-Bin of any branch of Woolies for about four or five quid.
Despite the criticisms 'Meteor' is honestly no worse than it's 1998 counterparts - why not give it a shot...I quite like it and if global destruction is your thing, you might too.
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09.11.2001 01:10
Bloody hell I vaguely remember this. But after reading the opinion I remember a bit more, especially Sean's really dodgy wig. Dave
14.10.2001 23:26
This is not a new opinion folks, but since the events of Sept 11th, certain parts of this review were no longer appropriate, and have been removed accordingly. Ta.
25.04.2001 23:22
That last comment - 'I wish' was in response to another comment left by another member who has since departed. Thus, his comment has been deleted. Just in case anyone thought I was going mad...