Mean Machine (Wide Screen)

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Production Year: 2001 - Action/Adventure - Director: Barry Skolnick - Original Language: English - Classification: 15 years and over - Starring: Vinnie Jones, David Hemmings, David Kelly, Vas Blackwood, Robbie Gee, Ralph Brown, John Forgeham, Jason Flemyng, Jason Statham more

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In this remake of THE LONGEST YARD, Robert Aldrich's 1974 Burt Reynolds prison tale concerning inmates who organize themselves into a football team and compete against the guards,...
more...British director Barry Skolnick pulls together a ruthlessly funny cast and changes the resident sport to soccer. The leader of the prisoners, played by Vinnie Jones (LOCK, STOCK, AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS), is a former soccer star who is asked by the warden to coach a team of prison guards. Instead, he offers to put together a team of inmates, who will be able to scrimmage with the guards' team.





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Mean Machine
A review by kipskabin on Mean Machine (Wide Screen)
June 23rd, 2005


Author's product rating:   Mean Machine (Wide Screen) - rated by kipskabin

Did you enjoy it? Loved it 
Story Good 
Characters / Performances Good 
Special Effects Standard 
Soundtrack Good 

Advantages: Vinnie Jones and Jason Statham  -  Jones can really act and Statham is hilarious in this role
Disadvantages: Hmm if I had to pick anything out it wouldprobably be the swearing  -  only because we watched it with the kids and would prefer for them not to hear quite so much !

Recommend to potential buyers: yes 

Full review
Wow! Brilliant. I saw it first on tv but hubby was out fishing (yeah very boring). I missed parts of it with sorting the kids out and stuff so I bought it a few days later from eBay.
We all sat down together as a family (apart from our 1 year old) and we enjoyed it so much. Vinnie Jones really can act and did so brilliantly - he's a bit of alright too girls ;o).
Vinnie Jones plays Danny Meehan a football superstar who had it all but now he's all washed up and when he's put inside for punching a cop things go from bad to worse.
There were lots of laughs, we all laughed out loud lots and there were a few laughs that went over the children's heads too (fortunately). It managed to combine some really serious stuff ie an old guy who was in for blowing up and 'enemy' of his but also blew up the guys wife and 14 month old child and was finding it really hard to come to terms with.
The basis of the story is a one off footie match between the wardens and the prisoners. The prison governer is in debt to some dodgy guy due to a big loss on the horses and attempts to fix the match for his financial gain.
A bit of insight into prison life, and also shows how they all come together and put their differences behind them to train and win the match for themselves and for the satisfaction of beating the screws!
Vinnie ends up playing in the match (rather predictably) and there is some nifty footwork from him and a few others.
Jason Statham plays the phsycopathic 'Monk' who is inside for 'killing people with his bare hands'. He is hilarious and obviously learned some pretty good footie skills for the part. We particularly liked the two inmates who turned 'football commentators' for the match - brilliant and very very funny .Well worth a watch and I would recommend it to footie fans and non footie fans alike.
"Hugely entertaining" Boyd Hilton - Heat
"One of the finest and funniest sporting encounters committed to celuloid" Paul Ross - New of the World
Sarah x 
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How does it compare to similar films? Not applicable 
How does it compare to others by the same director? Not applicable 
Value for Money Good 
What format are you reviewing? DVD 

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Mean Machine [2001] Mean Machine [2001]
Release Date: 2002-11-18, Rating Suitable for 15 years and over,
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Release Date: 2002-11-18, Rating Suitable for 15 years and over,
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