Mean Machines – Not your usual suspects.
Mean Machines was released in 2001 and is on TV quite a lot. It was shown a few weeks ago on Film4 so I thought I’d do a quick review as it is also a brilliant film and one of my favourites. Being a big football fan I instantly liked the plot ... Read review
Inside for 3 years outside for 90 minutes. From the producer of Snatch comes this ... more
rousing rough-and-tumble story that shows spirit and heart can exist in the most unlikely places... and in the most unlikely men. Ex-soccer star Danny Meehan (Vinnie ...
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From the producer of Lock, Stock and Snatch comes Mean Machine, 90 minutes (plus injury ... more
time) of no holds, adrenaline-fuelled soccer action! Vinnie Jones is Danny Meehan, a football superstar who had it all; the money, the fast cars and the super model...
Mean MachineFrom the Producer of Lock, Stock and Snatch comes MEAN MACHINE, 90 minutes ... more
(plus injury time) of no holds barred, adrenaline-fuelled soccer action!Vinnie Jones is Danny Meehan, a football superstar who had it all: the money, the fast cars and the super model girlfriend. But now he's all washed up and when he's put inside for punching a cop things go from bad to worse. The football mad commissioner organises a one-off game - the wardens against the inmates - and he's got to turn a bunch of out-of-shape reprobates into a winning team.If he loses he'll face the wrath of the cons. If he wins it's goodbye to his parole. But one thing's for sure - it'll be one hell of a match.The Longest YardIn this rough-and-tumble yarn, actually filmed on-location at the Georgia State Prison, the cons are the heroes and the guards are the heavies. Eddie Albert is the sadistic warden who'll gladly make any sacrifice to push his gaurds' semi-pro football team to a national championship.Reynolds plays one time pro quarterback Paul Crewe, now behind bars for leading State Police on a wild chase in a borrowed car. He agrees to organise a prisoners' team to play the guards. The warden intercedes to assure that his goon squad will meet only passive resistance from Crewe's Mean Machine. But the license to pound their hated guards is a big incentive for murderers and thieves to learn strategy.
Production Year: 2007 - Action/Adventure - Director: Paul Greengrass - Original Language: English - Classification: 12 years and over - Starring:Matt Damon, Julia Stiles, Joan Allen, Edgar Ramirez, David Strathairn, Paddy Considine, Albert Finney
Production Year: 1964 - Action/Adventure - Director: Cyril Endfield - Original Language: English - Classification: Parental Guidance - Starring:Stanley Baker, Jack Hawkins, Ulla Jacobsson, James Booth, Michael Caine, Nigel Green
Production Year: 2002 - Action/Adventure - Director: Vincenzo Natali - Original Language: English - Classification: 15 years and over - Starring:Lucy Liu, David Hewlett, Anne Marie Scheffler, Joseph Scoren, Matthew Sharp, Jeremy Northam
Advantages: Great actors, good story, nice sound track. Disadvantages: none
Mean Machines – Not your usual suspects.
Mean Machines was released in 2001 and is on TV quite a lot. It was shown a few weeks ago on Film4 so I thought I’d do a quick review as it is also a brilliant film and one of my favourites. Being a big football fan I instantly liked the plot and the fact Vinnie Jones was starred in it. I was a fan of Vinnie as a footballer and thought he played his role well in this. ... ...as comedy, friendship and morals. Mean Machines is a comedy adapted from the 1974 American film 'The Longest Yard' which is American football instead of football.
PLOT
Vinnie Jones plays Danny Meehan a superstar footballer who is jailed for assault on a police officer and finds it hard to fit in. He soon makes a few friends and tries to keep his head down but the Warden offers him a deal. Play a game of football against ... more
Mean Machines – Not your usual suspects.
Mean Machines was released in 2001 and is on TV quite a lot. It was shown a few weeks ago on Film4 so I thought I’d do a quick review as it is also a brilliant film and one of my favourites. Being a big football fan I instantly liked the plot and the fact Vinnie Jones was starred in it. I was a fan of Vinnie as a footballer and thought he played his role well in this. I don’t really like sitting down and watching a lot of films and my partner always wants to so this is the only kind of film you would see me watching. The film consists of a great cast and a good director who has only directed this film which was successful. Although the main theme is about football there are many other sub plots to attract others such as comedy, friendship and morals. Mean Machines is a comedy adapted from the 1974 American film 'The Longest Yard' which is American football instead of football.
PLOT
Vinnie Jones plays Danny Meehan a superstar footballer who is jailed for assault on a police officer and finds it hard to fit in. He soon makes a few friends and tries to keep his head down but the Warden offers him a deal. Play a game of football against the guards and he may get out early. Meehan has to choose his team and train the inmates to play to good standards.
CAST
Vinnie Jones – Danny Meehan
Danny is the protagonist of the film and we follow him all the way through. It is good to see how football can ruin some people’s lives and how they recover from it. Danny is a strong minded man and makes some good friendships with some of the inmates. Vinnie Jones is an ex footballer and now successful actor in many great films, some of these include- ‘Lock Stock’ ‘Loaded’ and ‘X-men 3’.
Billy the Limpet – Danny Dyer
Billy is quite a funny character, he is always excited and really hyper and tends to get on Danny's nerves abit. No one really takes him seriously and Danny lets him in the team out of pity for him. He is a mjor football fan and loves Danny's football so follows him around like a dog. Danny Dyer is a superb actor and is a successful british actor. He has starred in some qulaity films including- 'The Football Factory' and 'Foyle's War'.
Doc- David Kelly Governor- David Hemmings Burton- Ralph Brown Massive – Vas Blackwood Trojan- Robbie Gee The Monk – Jason Statham Tracey – Sally Phillips
OPINIONS
I really enjoyed everything about this movie. It had a good storyline, funny characters and elements of football, jail and comedy. There was a good selection of actors including Vinnie, Danny Dyer and for some people Jason Statham but I don’t particularly like him that much. I think he plays the same roles a lot but he does actually play The Monk well. The comedy was brilliant and had me laughing all of the way through. I liked the way it had a British sport with a total British cast as well. Even though the film is based on the Amercian story 'The Longest Yard', it is nice to see a British version. I have seen some pretty dyer prison films but this was actually great and the prison was realistic and interesting. The acting was well done and the characters were easy to follow and interesting.
The film had a good pace and I didn’t think it was too long or short. It included many elements of character development and there was a mixture of sub plots going on. There are different themes in the film including death, revenge, relationships and humour. All of these made it a success. I especially liked the football try outs where Danny holds try outs and stands in disbelief as the men show off their non existence talents. There is also a part where they teach the players how to play dirty but discreetly which is shown by The Monk acting all 24 dirty moves on poor naïve Billy. This is a brilliant scene and had me laughing for ages. The mixture of men who stand together is really good. They all want revenge on the guards and nothing will stop them getting it. There are also several issues shown in the film such as racism and stereotypes.
EXTRAS
Director- Barry Skolnick Release- 26 December 2001 (UK) Runtime- 99 Mins Certificate- 15 Soundtrack- Let Me Entertain You
Rotten Tomatoes Rating – 34 % which I think is very under rated.
DVD
The DVD can be brought from my favourite buying website of Play.com for only £3.99 which I think is great value for money. RECOMMEND
I would defiantly recommend this film to people who love comedy and want a good laugh. It is an exciting, entertaining film with good characters and great actors. I will be adding it to my DVD collection when I can. A film not to miss out on!
Advantages: Can be funny and good when there's nothing else on Disadvantages: Most would probably find it to be a joke
...remaining two hours. Well maybe Mean Machine didn't exactly grab me as I saw it in the Channel 4 line-up, but with nothing else to really watch you can't argue with a Sunday night movie. Of course my experiences with Ch4 movies haven't been great, I seem to remember the last one I watched was Cabin Fever, one of my most hated movies of all time, so how did Mean Machine fair at filling in that gap in the schedule between 10pm and midnight?
I literally ... ...watching an original. My bad. Mean Machine is said to be a 2001 remake of the original 'Longest Yard' movie, which that itself has had an American remake in more recent years. Mean Machine is a purely British film though, and that is just stamped in permanent ink by the fact that the lead role is played by Vinnie Jones himself. Generally I'm not a Vinnie Jones fan, and I remember one of the things I hated the most about 'Euro Trip' was Vinnie Jones' ...
nathaninnit 27.08.2007
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Mean Machine (DVD)
Advantages: Entertaining throughout Disadvantages: Nothing special
...I have doesn't have any extras, but I'm not particularly fussed about that, and nor are most people going to be, I imagine. Mean Machine is currently available from amazon.co.uk for around the £3 mark, though be careful to not confuse it with the US original of the same name. ...
pmcds 29.04.2009
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful Review of Mean Machine (DVD)
Advantages: actually good Disadvantages: langauge can offend
...exactly warming up to Danny Mean because he betrayed his team in a crucial world cup game. However hard Danny Mean tries through, he just can’t keep his head down. Danny then comes across a opportunity he will never forget, a football game against the guards. Finally the prisoners have the chance to get there own back on the people that beats and tortures them. Danny must now lead the prisoners to victory, however there are some difficulties during ... ...like he did England? The film is amazing, and very enjoyable. -->Disadvantages of the film
I personally couldn’t actually spot any disadvantages during the film, however there may be some where people may become offended. There is a lot of swearing during the film, and some crude characters. The film also wasn’t long enough! It lasted approx 99 mins, which was disappointing as the most funniest bits were in the game which was at the end of the film
...
richyncfc 10.06.2007
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: helpful Review of Mean Machine (DVD)
Advantages: EVERYTHING & VINNIE JONES Disadvantages: NEEDS TO BE LONGER
...disgraced ex England captain Danny Mean (Vinnie Jones) is thrown in jail for assaulting two police officers, (which was the best opening scene that I have ever seen in a film), however he is a disgraced ex footballer for a reason and his high status doesn’t serve him well in jail and many f the other inmates aren’t impressed over his part in the crucial World Cup Game, Danny when reaching the high fame and money there was began to look past the passion ... ...I am honestly waiting for mean machine 2 to be released, there will never be another film like this that can make me laugh and smile all the way through. I will recommend this film to everyone, however there is a lot of bad language within the film making the rating at 15, this could cause offence to some people. ...
xx-baby-davies-xx 04.05.2007
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: helpful Review of Mean Machine (DVD)
Advantages: Vinnie Jones, english football Disadvantages: none, other than perhaps violence/swearing if you dislike it
...re-made into an english version, Mean Machine, in 2001, starring Vinnie Jones as the leading lad. One of the original writers, Tracy Keenan Wynn, joins Charlie Fletcher, Chris Baker and Andrew Day to bring this up to modern day.
The original has also been re-made in 2005, with the same name, starring Adam Sandler, in a more direct re-make.
→ Plot
Danny Meehan (Vinnie Jones) is the disgraced ex-england captain, who gets jailed after drink ... ...penalty in a crucial world cup game, few of the inmates want anything to do with him. The Governor has his own semi-pro football team, composed of the guards of the prison, and wants Danny to coach them. Burton, the head guard, complicates his life by informing him that Meehan will NOT be coaching his team.
Danny finds a way around it; offer the guards a 'friendly' warm-up match against the cons, who he will coach into shape. Its a struggle to get ...
rhidassa 28.07.2006 (06.08.2006)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: helpful Review of Mean Machine (DVD)
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Advantages: Feel-good film that has plenty of laughs and plenty of action Disadvantages: Seen the original? Then you've as good as seen this.
with some aplomb by Robert Aldrich. So, when it was decided that a British remake of this classic was in order, who do you think was cast in the Burt Reynolds role? Somebody sporty was required, who could act a bit, do comedy, and above all could carry a major motion picture on his own broad shoulders.
Vinnie Jones doesn?t really spring immediately to mind now, does he?
PLOT:
The plot for MeanMachine is pretty much exactly the same as that outlined above for The Longest Yard. Vinnie is Danny Meehan, a former England football captain who deliberately gave away a penalty in a game against the Germans. After his inevitable fall from grace, Meehan is locked up for resisting arrest, and finds himself in possibly the most clichéd prison that cinema has ever seen ? psychopaths, crime lords, ordinary ?friendly? types, the wise old man who has ...
Meanmachine has had a good mixture of reviews, ranging from the lowest of low ratings right up to the 5 star ratings. It's a film which the general public just can't seem to make their minds up about, why do some people dislike it so much when others thought it was an enjoyable film? I myself fall into the later category, quite enjoying the film, as predictable as it was!
MeanMachine was directed by Barry Skolnick, responsible for films such as...erm...oh, MeanMachine and that's it. Yes, this was the directors first film, and he hasn't done to badly in my view. I can't tell you what the budget was, though being a British film through and through, I should think it wasn't that great! It made just $92,000 in the US Box Office, having said that, it was much a rarity over in the US, with only the biggest of cinemas showing it that had ...
Advantages: Funny Disadvantages: Not as good as Snatch or LS&2SB
Ska Films had unbelievable success with the two Guy Richie films, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch, but decided to make the break from London gangsterland with their next film, MeanMachine. Well, in a sense you could say they continued to indulge their fascination with the dirtier side of life because they exchanged life in gangland on the streets of the Smoke for life in gangland in the nick, but it was a pretty big step away.
Many of the standard Ska tricks were still there and Ska veteran Vinnie Jones moved firmly stage centre as former England footballer turned fallen idol and con Danny Meehan, put away for drunken driving and asaulting police officers, but MeanMachine, loosely based on the Burt Reynolds original of the same name, was just a pale and shallow imitation of the previous Ska efforts. It takes the same ...
Ex professional footballer, Danny Mehan, lands in prison on an assault charge and discovers that he is banged up with a few inmates who haven't forgiven him for fixing a game... Can he manage to throw a team together in order to get him on side with the guards and also save his neck with his fellow prisoners?...
Release details
DVD Region
DVD
Studio(s)
PARAMOUNT HOME ENTERTAINMENT; TECHNICOLOR DIST. SERVICES
"...When the camera and the players are on the field, the film soars and roars, powered by an indefatigable energy..." (Box Office, p.62, 01/05/2002)
"...Enjoyable....MEAN MACHINE is what it is, and very nicely, too..." (Chicago Sun-Times, p.30, 01/03/2002)
"...It plays well, with a fast pace and plenty of punch..." (Los Angeles Times, p.C25, 22/02/2002)
DVD Description
In this remake of THE LONGEST YARD, Robert Aldrich's 1974 Burt Reynolds prison tale concerning inmates who organize themselves into a football team and compete against the guards, British director Barry Skolnick pulls together a ruthlessly funny cast and changes the resident sport to soccer. The leader of the prisoners, played by Vinnie Jones (LOCK, STOCK, AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS), is a former soccer star who is asked by the warden to coach a team of prison guards. Instead, he offers to put together a team of inmates, who will be able to scrimmage with the guards' team.
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