_________________ TOP SECRET - FYEO ___________________
<START>
The Date: 15 May
The Time: at the Eclipse
The Place: The World
The Event: The alignment of the 9 solar planets and the opportunity to control time
The Brief: Well, to save the world, of course…..
The Players: Illuminati Group led by Manfred Powel (aka Iain Glen)
Further and better particulars of your mission can be found in the file marked "USUAL SUSPECTS, USUAL PLOT, USUAL ACTION and MEDIOCRITY"
<ENDS>
Well, the much-hyped film is upon us. Lara Croft of computer fame becomes flesh and the world is ready….
….ready for what? A busty chick with a tendency to shoot from the hip taking on the masses to save the
world…where have I heard this before? I expected the Croft movie to be a mix of all that is Bond and all that is Indiana Jones coupled with a fair bit of "ogle-potential" for the lads. I found that the Croft movie was, well, boring.
THE PLOT:
This was the film's only redeeming feature - far fetched maybe, but at least it existed. I review with no spoilers and so will not actually divulge any more of the plot than was divulged in the brief as I feel that this is the only reason to go and see the film.
THE SCRIPT and CHARACTERISATION:
I felt that the scripting was particularly weak with little development of the characters. There was very little humour (a la Bond and Indiana) and yet there were some classic feeder lines crying out for a witty retort. Characterisation was next to non-existent. The badies weren't bad, the lovers were not even flirtations let alone indiscrete, the butler (Chris Barrie) was dead and our hero was…what was she?…. words fail me - her plum English accent jarred with her jerky shooting action, there was no passion in what she was doing…just another job in the film studios.
This was a shame for Angelina Jollie as it could have been a fantastic break for her had she injected some life into the character. The only thing that she succeeded in doing was to self-animate a computer game character - in fact, I have seen computer game characters with more expression and life in them.
THE CINEMATOGRAPHY:
This could have been outstanding. The locations leant themselves to some fantastic shots but again they were not exploited. Panning shots of Asian life and Venetian culture were all we got. Siberia and California were all but neglected.
Special effects were surprisingly thin on the ground, the movie relying more on the stunt action that the simulated. Those that existed were particularly thin and reminiscent of that 80s classic Ghostbusters - all goo and no scare.
THE ACTION:
Again, I was left wanting. The fight scenes were cheesy and contrived. It was a sad reflection that the best scene was a bungee swing scene where Croft is performing somersaults in her hall rather reminiscent of a certain Catherine Zeta Jones laser scene…
THE VERDICT:
This movie left me sorely wanting…to go home! There was so much potential in this high-budget film but it was never developed. The characters, story and action scenes all had potential. I did not not enjoy the film but it left me with nothing to praise. It was not Bond - there was no humour, it was not Indiana - there was no action and no good cinematography, it was not a watch-and-drool for the men - even in Siberian temperatures the t-shirt clad well endowed Lara showed no signs of…well cold (!), it was not a love story - nothing developed and it was not a thriller - there was no suspense (other than the bungee swing) and no thrills…. It was NOTHINGNESS personified.
I have never played the computer game but suspect that you would be better off plugged in for and hour and a half rather than stuck inside a hot cinema for the same time.
Best suited to 12 year olds who have yet to graduate to Bond, are too young to remember Indiana and are just in lust over women with ample up top.
****** Claire 9 July 2001
How helpful would this review be to a person making a buying decision? Rating guidelines
Production Year: 2004 - Action/Adventure - Director: Jon Turteltaub - Original Language: English - Classification: Parental Guidance - Starring:Justin Bartha, Sean Bean, Jon Voight, Nicolas Cage, Diane Kruger
Production Year: 2002 - Action/Adventure - Director: Vincenzo Natali - Original Language: English - Classification: 15 years and over - Starring:Lucy Liu, David Hewlett, Anne Marie Scheffler, Joseph Scoren, Matthew Sharp, Jeremy Northam
Production Year: 1964 - Action/Adventure - Director: Cyril Endfield - Original Language: English - Classification: Parental Guidance - Starring:Stanley Baker, Jack Hawkins, Ulla Jacobsson, James Booth, Michael Caine, Nigel Green
My thoughts exactly. I almost didn't go to see it. Oh how I wish my laziness had won out that day!
dowies_brain 04.08.2001 16:34
very stereotypical
dowies_brain 22.07.2001 03:21
oops 1 other thing. ive noticed alot of you are saying it has been aimed at men. I dont think so. when i went the cinima was of an evenly mixed genda. But i suppose this is starting off that stupid arguement that the game character was created JUST for men.
Angelina Jolie is the first and best reason to watchLara Croft Tomb Raider. She gives an ... more
extraordinarily committed, physically demanding performance, taking on the mantle of the video game heroine with real conviction and energy, and becoming the embod...
Postage & Packaging: £1.21 Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days...
Angelina Jolie is the first and best reason to watchLara Croft Tomb Raider. She gives an ... more
extraordinarily committed, physically demanding performance, taking on the mantle of the video game heroine with real conviction and energy, and becoming the embod...
Postage & Packaging: Free! Availability: Usually dispatched within 24 hours...
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the most stylish and entertaining action-adventure movie in years!Exploring lost empires, finding priceless treasures, punishing villains in mortal combat.. it's a...
Advantages: Angelina Jolie, Angelina Jolie, Angelina Jolie. Oh, and some excellent action sequencies Disadvantages: No underwater swimming scenes, like in the game
Advantages: Angelina Jolie, Angelina Jolie, Angelina Jolie. Oh, and some excellent action sequencies Disadvantages: No underwater swimming scenes, like in the game
![Lara Croft Tomb Raider -- Special Collector's Edition [DVD] [2001]](http://picnicb.ciao.com/uk/78528045.jpg "Lara Croft Tomb Raider -- Special Collector's Edition [DVD] [2001]")
Jul 9th, 2001
very helpful by (97%):
helpful by (3%):
