Kickboxer 4 - The Aggressor (DVD)

...the lawn and off to Kickboxer 5, if they'd have him.

I know it is bad form to give away the ending, but of course, Sloane and his wife, Peppermint Patti and the undercover DEA agent all live, as we see them carrying each other, bruised and bloody, out the door and into the nether world of 'will there be another sequel?'

Hey, what are the odds? That there were FOUR of these films was astonishing enough - probably three ...
...have to do with the Kickboxer series? There you go again, looking for continuity. Remember, I mentioned that earlier…

'Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor' - why the aggressor? Who knows? Because martial arts is aggressive, I suppose. 'Kickboxer 4' should have the appendage 'A Sucker Born Every Moment' for anyone who paid to see this.

One online commentator made the comment just too rich to leave off (in the category of 'I wish ... more

[Personal note: I was recently asked if I ever wrote on something I didn't like. I replied that I usually didn't want to devote time to writing about things I don't like, when I could write about things I do like. However, I accepted the challenge, particularly after my recent experience with the below-described film.]

I fully expected, when looking this film up on the IMDB website, to find it directed by Alan Smithee or some such pseudonym. However, the director Albert Pyun has such credits as 'Brainsmasher: A Love Story' and 'Alien from L.A.' on his curriculum vitae, so (despite the almost-tolerable film such as 'Cyborg') I thought I might have stumbled upon the reincarnation of Ed Wood, Jr. However, I know 'Plan 9 from Outer Space'; I've seen and studied 'Plan 9 from Outer Space'. This film is no 'Plan 9 from Outer Space'.

Pyun uses the same crew over and over again for many of this films - that is a mark of quality (although not necessarily a good one). In this film, frequently Pyun flyers include George Mooradian as cinematographer; Thom Matthews in a minor role; Nicholas Guest (son of an English lord, no less) in a minor role; and Anthony Riparetti for music composition - wait! Was there actually music with this thing? I honestly cannot remember. Maybe there was some elevator music or bad, 70s kitsch kind of music (the sort that often played on television shows like 'CHiPS' as Erik Estrada rode his motorcycle up the ramp onto the freeway), but I honestly cannot recall it.

This is one of those low-budget, martial arts films designed to capitalise on the success of earlier glories. There was a successful film, entitled 'Kickboxer', which starred Jean-Claude van Damme (and was not directed by Pyun). Van Damme steered clear of this film's sequels to make other films (not all successful; his film 'Coyote Moon' was as bad as 'Kickboxer 4', prompting that director to Smithee out under the non de plume Danny Mulroon). Thus, the character Kurt Sloane had to have a successor, David Sloane, played by Sasha Mitchell (yes, that guy from the Suzanne Somers/Patrick Duffy sit-com, 'Step by Step'). David Sloane is obviously not from Europe, so his relationship to Kurt Sloane is, well, who cares? If one is looking for continuity in across the four-arc trainwreck of Kickboxer, one must get used to disappointment. There's often no continuity from scene to scene.

You also have to wonder about a sequel so bad on paper that the actor who plays the villain in earlier segments, Michael Quissi, decides to give it a miss. So, we get a poorly disguised Kamel Krifa as Tong Po (one-time national martial arts champion of Thailand, now a Mexican drug-lord and sex slave trader - does that qualify as a lateral career move?); Krifa isn't even credited in the film, taking Quissi's place. The make-up is so pathetic that the foam and plastic bits of the face mask seem to be falling off even before Krifa starts his martial arts routines. I have seen better make-up jobs at local civic theatre events that had to rely on grandmother's make-up case because there was no budget.

Anyway, back to the story. David Sloane, ambiguous relation to Kurt 'muscles from Brussels' Sloane, has to rescue his wife from his arch-enemy, who is holding her hostage as a sex slave in a desert hideout that doubles also as a ranch for martial arts tournaments where the fighting is to the death. Oh, yes, it also doubles as a drug-lord hideaway, with distribution and production and all of that. By now you're probably asking - how can you go wrong with that set-up? The plot practically unfolds without help into a winning formula, right? Well, it probably did unfold by itself. Sloane is first in jail (who knows why, framed apparently, but for what, and by whom? Uh, once again, who cares?), then gets out of jail to go to this tournament. First he meets up with Peppermint Patti, er, Megan Lawrence (Michelle Krasnoo) who also wants to go to this martial arts tournament. Through a series of events hardly worth the celluloid upon which the colours were amended, the duo arrive down south in Mexico; no one from this drug lord's ranch seems to care much whether or not the lord's arch-enemy has arrived. Willing suspension of disbelief is one thing, but this is beyond the pale.

First there are tryouts. Peppermint Patti tries, and Sloane fells her with a single stroke. Somehow, she is still permitted into the tournament. Okay. Oh, and it turns out that another contestant is an undercover DEA agent (Brad Thornton, in what appears to have been his only film role ever), just as Sloane it turns out is a former DEA agent. What a lucky combination for them that the martial arts contest is at the drug lord's hideaway!

Of course, they are discovered, but not after various furtive scenes with the sex slaves, and Sloane searching for his wife. There is more to live than martial arts, you know. But not much more, apprarently. Oh, and what would the film be without some gratuitous torture before getting to the main events - the martial arts contest (where the contestants are finally told the 'to-the-death' rule, to the surprise of many), and the final show-down between Tong Po in a martial arts fight that is just sad.

Now, I must confess that I am no connoisseur of martial arts choreography, but one doesn't have to had followed the Metropolitan Ballet season after season to know a bad dancer; this was pathetic, particularly compared to the martial arts performances at the 'tournament' just a few scenes earlier. Here we are having the classic showdown between good and evil, Sloane against Tong Po in a no-holds-barred kickboxing contest, and what do we see? Picnic tables overturned, barely a blow landed from one against the other, and after practically everyone in the ranch is now dead, Tong Po makes his escape through a side door. One can almost see him twisting his mustache as a silent-picture-era villain as he scutters across the lawn and off to Kickboxer 5, if they'd have him.

I know it is bad form to give away the ending, but of course, Sloane and his wife, Peppermint Patti and the undercover DEA agent all live, as we see them carrying each other, bruised and bloody, out the door and into the nether world of 'will there be another sequel?'

Hey, what are the odds? That there were FOUR of these films was astonishing enough - probably three too many. Of course, there was a Kickboxer 5, but to the chagrin and outrage of fans everywhere, we are told at the start of that one that David Sloane died, and there's no mention of Tong Po at all. So, what did it have to do with the Kickboxer series? There you go again, looking for continuity. Remember, I mentioned that earlier…

'Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor' - why the aggressor? Who knows? Because martial arts is aggressive, I suppose. 'Kickboxer 4' should have the appendage 'A Sucker Born Every Moment' for anyone who paid to see this.

One online commentator made the comment just too rich to leave off (in the category of 'I wish I'd said it'): ' Kickboxer 4, as a whole, is preferable to Kickboxer 3, but this is akin to choosing between being hanged with regular rope, or with a soft synthetic poly-blend rope.'

This is a bad film. BAD. I watched it on one of the cable channels when it came on; I was half asleep and couldn't find the remote, and couldn't be bothered to get out of bed to change the channel. This film did have the kind of mesmerising effect, however, of being so bad that one just couldn't stop watching it. I know I drifted off to sleep now and again through the film, but somehow I don't think that detracted at all from the experience.

Sasha Mitchell and Nicholas Guest are good actors. I've seen them in shows where they were good. This is not one of them. I can't speak to the other actors, and feel very sorry for Brad Thornton to have this as the only film on his resume. No one deserves such a fate.

Watch it at your own risk.

I must confess the specific criteria listed below baffle me somewhat in regard to this film. Story? What story? But that's not an option. The characters and performances are very weak indeed, but so much so that they are very memorable. The same holds true for the special effects (particularly if one considers make-up a special effect - the main villain having half his face hang off most of the time certainly sticks in the mind!). On the other hand, with regard to other pieces of work by this director, it is probably just fine!  

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