House Of 9 (DVD)

...quite stop myself from putting House of 9 in my Amazon basket – maybe Dennis Hopper would make up for it?


The idea behind this film is similar to that of Saw 2 and based on the classic “And Then There Were None” theme of several people being forced together only for their number to be reduced until there is only 1 (or possibly 2 or even none) person still standing.


In House of 9, 9 strangers are abducted ...
...a completely sealed house furnished with cameras and hidden microphones. They wake up unable to understand what has happened to them until a disembodied voice informs them that they have been put here as part of a game. The winner of the game will receive 5 million dollars but the catch is that the only way to win this prize is by ensuring the death of all their fellow “competitors”. The last person standing will certainly have blood on their hands ... more

Buying a film featuring Kelly Brook was always going to be risky but I still couldn’t quite stop myself from putting House of 9 in my Amazon basket – maybe Dennis Hopper would make up for it?

The idea behind this film is similar to that of Saw 2 and based on the classic “And Then There Were None” theme of several people being forced together only for their number to be reduced until there is only 1 (or possibly 2 or even none) person still standing.

In House of 9, 9 strangers are abducted from their everyday life only to be imprisoned together in a completely sealed house furnished with cameras and hidden microphones. They wake up unable to understand what has happened to them until a disembodied voice informs them that they have been put here as part of a game. The winner of the game will receive 5 million dollars but the catch is that the only way to win this prize is by ensuring the death of all their fellow “competitors”. The last person standing will certainly have blood on their hands but will also have 5 million dollars to help wash it off.

The film follows the characters as they try to escape the house and the game until eventually some of them start playing along.

The idea is simple, but as ideas go the simple ones are often more likely to create real tension and drama. Sadly, in this case, the film does not have much more than the classic theme going for it. If this film had tried a bit harder to be different from the stereotypical straight-to-DVD horror it would have fared much better. As it is it sticks absolutely rigorously to the horror/thriller cliches. There is nothing really unexpected happening, you can tell exactly how the characters will react and even if the ending has a bit of a twist to it, it’s still entirely predictable.

In my mind, the worst part of this film is the acting and the characters. The nine strangers are as different as they could possibly be but completely and utterly stereotypical. There is a fair bit of xenophobia in the casting of the “token black guy”. It’s as if somebody felt that not all the characters could be white so they decided to introduce a young black man into the mix. He grew up in the “hood” (well, the British version anyway), and is aggressive and violent. "Obviously" he calls women bitches, dreams of rap stardom and hates the white, American cop who he’s locked up with. How much worse can it really get after that? Plenty is the sad answer.

Next we have Kelly Brook as an innocent and good-hearted girl next door. She is clearly trying to get away from her usual sexy image but does so less than convincingly. At the best of times she is a terrible actress but this role magnifies that 10 times over if you could possibly imagine such a thing.

Susie Amy plays a spoilt, rich girl with visions of grandeur. Again, the character is so unbelievably lacking in depth and more a caricature than anything else. There’s also Dennis Hopper as a priest, unsuccessfully trying to cool the frayed tempers and a hard nosed, Scottish girl with an attitude and an electronic tag. Furthermore, there is a married couple where the oddball husband is a music composer and the wife is nice but seems clearly destined to be the first to die. Finally there’s an (obviously gay) clothing designer.

Most of the characters seem to dislike each other from the off. This might be understandable because of the situation that they are in although I would think that most people in a situation like this (no matter how unlikely) would feel the need to keep close with others around them. Similarly, with so many British characters I find the instant rudeness between most of the characters somewhat unbelievable. It is so much part of the British persona to be polite and it’s such an important part of everyday life that I believe it would take more than 2 minutes of hardship to break it down.

In spite of the classic horror material the way this film follows the rules borders on the ridiculous. It would have been great to have been surprised once or twice during the course of the film. Furthermore, the ending is pretty disappointing as there is never a real explanation as to whom has put this whole game together and to what purpose or as to why these characters were chosen to participate.

There are no extras on the DVD except for the trailer, which certainly promises a lot more than the film delivers.

So would I recommend this film? In spite of all its flaws I did find it pretty entertaining. I am known for my love of really bad horrors and thrillers though and most of my friends think I have horrible taste in movies so don’t rely too much on my recommendation. I think that to most people it would be a complete waste of time watching this film but if you, like me, quite enjoy a bad film with bad acting just for the fun of it, then you would most certainly enjoy this. Hmm, that does sound very odd but you know what I mean!

If you are a little bit weird like me and still want to watch this film you can pick it up at Amazon for £4.97. It has an 18 certificate although I didn’t find it incredibly gory (well, compared to real gory films such as Saw 3 or Hostel at least). 

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