Futtock's End (DVD)

Colonel Futtock is having a weekend party at his stately home, Futtocks End (I have to add here that the lack of apostrophe is not my doing...that is how it is on the DVD cover!). A variety of guests arrive, including his niece, aunt and other hangers-on, including a Japanese businessman who is not supposed to be there at all. The party begins with an accidentally boozy meal after a bottle of spirits gets knocked into the fruit salad. After that, ...
...more disrobed, and the butler has a great time copping a glance of heaving bosoms and rounded buttocks. Will everything end happily? Or is Colonel Futtock about to be responsible for a major social faux-pas?

I was quite surprised to come across this short film, which was recorded for British television in 1970 (and is therefore almost as old as me!), and was written by, and starred, the late, lamented Ronnie Barker. It is almost a ... more

Colonel Futtock is having a weekend party at his stately home, Futtocks End (I have to add here that the lack of apostrophe is not my doing...that is how it is on the DVD cover!). A variety of guests arrive, including his niece, aunt and other hangers-on, including a Japanese businessman who is not supposed to be there at all. The party begins with an accidentally boozy meal after a bottle of spirits gets knocked into the fruit salad. After that, everything goes with a swing, the women become more and more disrobed, and the butler has a great time copping a glance of heaving bosoms and rounded buttocks. Will everything end happily? Or is Colonel Futtock about to be responsible for a major social faux-pas?

I was quite surprised to come across this short film, which was recorded for British television in 1970 (and is therefore almost as old as me!), and was written by, and starred, the late, lamented Ronnie Barker. It is almost a silent film, in that none of the actors actually say anything coherent, although we do hear them grunt, gurgle and make other unintelligible noises. And there is a soundtrack that includes music and other noises - by 'other noises', I mean sounds such as the flushing of toilets (a big part of this film), the moving of objects and the clinking of plates and glasses. Sounds weird? It is. But is it funny? Well, obviously some people find it so - look at the entry for Futtocks End on imdb.com as proof - but I personally thought it was dire.

There are two main characters really. One is Colonel Futtock, played by Ronnie Barker. Futtock is a bumbling old man, set in his ways and fond of his privacy. However, the house party does mean that he gets the chance to perv at the young girls present, so he is quite happy, especially after a drink or two. I adore Ronnie Barker as an actor. I think he is unsurpassable in Porridge, and most of his other comic roles make me laugh. This one just didn't. He just didn't connect with me at all, and I found his attempts at slapstick comedy distinctly unfunny, especially when he was lecherous. I wouldn't class myself as a feminist, and certainly I've watched loads of comedies from the seventies that are highly sexist without minding too much, but watching Ronnie Barker giving lewd looks to the young girls around him is a bit too much like watching your favourite uncle get drunk and come on to a girl half his age in the pub. This is not Ronnie Barker's finest moment as far as I am concerned.

Michael Hordern, who sadly died in 1995, plays the butler. Hordern is best known for his serious acting, but here, obviously decided to go for something a bit different. Personally, I didn't like it all that much. He gives a convincing performance as a randy butler who doesn't often get the chance to consort with women, but because he doesn't talk as such, he ends up pulling a multitude of faces that just seems too over-the-top. I can honestly say I didn't laugh once at anything he did, and I was left feeling a bit embarrassed for him really. I'm all for actors trying their talents outside of their normal genre, but it didn't really work here.

All of the other characters, mostly played by actors and actresses I'm not familiar with, add to the general lack of charm of this film. There is the silly maiden aunt who knits all the time; the niece who is a bit dense; the silly twit whose purpose for existing is unclear; the random old man who paints all the time; the beautiful girl whose clothes keep disappearing...the list goes on. The only thing that broke up the monotony for me was the brief appearance of Richard O'Sullivan (Man About the House, Robin's Nest), an actor I adore and always manages to make me smile. Unfortunately, he doesn't have much of a role - at that point in his career, he would only just have been beginning to make his name.

I would class the humour in Futtocks End as a mixture of the Carry On films and Benny Hill. It is basically a comedy of errors with lots of naked flesh thrown in for good measure. If this sounds like your kind of thing, you might (note the might) find it funny. I like the Carry On films, and have even been known to sit through the odd episode of Benny Hill, but the mixture of the two somehow didn't work for me. I didn't laugh once - in fact, I barely broke into a smile. There just wasn't anything funny about what I was seeing on screen. In fact, I found myself getting annoyed and wanting the whole thing to finish - and as the film is only 47 minutes in length anyway, this is not a good sign.

As mentioned earlier, the 'soundtrack' to the film is a strange mixture of music and jangling, clanging sounds. This, for me, added to my desire for the film to finish as soon as possible. One scene where the guests are eating breakfast after their boozy night before is particularly hard to listen to, because everything is made that bit louder. This is obviously supposed to represent the fact that when you have a bad head after too much alcohol, the smallest sound is heightened. Milk poured on rice krispies, for example, sounds like a battleground with guns and cannons blazing. I also found the constant grunting instead of talking from characters very frustrating - I would rather they hadn't made any sound at all.

There is, unusually for comedies of this period, an extra with the DVD in the form of an audio commentary by director Bob Kellet. This is quite interesting to begin with; unfortunately, Kellett is a very poor speaker and stutters and stammers his way through the commentary, making it very hard to listen to, especially when it goes on for as long as the film. I did pick up one or two interesting facts though - the house known in the film as Futtocks End is actually W S Gilbert (of Gilbert and Sullivan fame)'s house in Harrow Weald. It really is a beautiful location. At the time of filming, the house had been empty for years and was about to be sold - I really hope someone took it on and restored it. Kellet also says that although he worked closely with Ronnie Barker on this and other projects, he never really got to know him, and he seems to think that Barker was a very private man who rarely opened up to anyone. Thinking about it, I know very little about Barker myself.

I think it is fairly clear from the above that I didn't like this film. I hate to criticise anything that Ronnie Barker has done, but I just did not get on with this at all, and was relieved when it finished. I honestly don't think I would recommend anyone sees this, unless you have already seen it and want to watch for nostalgic purposes. I think even Ronnie Barker fans will be disappointed by this offering. It's definitely a shocker. Not recommended.

The DVD is available from play.com for £8.82.

Classification: PG

Running time: 47 minutes 

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