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Films, games, films and games! That's what I seem to know best...
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FLASH GORDON
"Flash - a-ah - saviour of the universe. Flash - a-ah - he'll save every one of us."
Or so the Queen soundtrack goes over the comic-book enriched title credits (something Spiderman 2 would later borrow). It serves to get the audience's toes immediately tapping in anticipation for the film to begin outright and, for some bizarre reason, coupled with the spandex pants, phallic shaped spaceships, an over-developed sense for bright, garish colours and Brian Blessed shouting "DIVE" to his birdman hordes whenever he gets the chance, Flash Gordon comes across as a deliriously brilliant, camp piece of outrageous space opera cinematics. Indeed, with these hallmarks, it's impossible to imagine a movie that's more innocently entertaining (only Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure seems to usurp Flash Gordon to such a title).
Flash Gordon (Sam J. Jones), modern football hero as quarterback for the New York Jets, along with attractive travel agent Dale Arden (Melody Anderson) are kidnapped and blasted into space by barking mad professor Dr Hans Zarkoff (Topol) in order to defeat the Emperor Ming's (Max Von Sydow) rather petty and motiveless attack of crashing the Moon into the Earth. After a rather boisterous piece of dissent by Flash, as he portrays his eloquent football skills in front of Ming's subjects and his eventual quasi-execution, our hero evades capture and hooks up with some enslaved birdmen, led by the irrepressible Voltan (the wonderful Brian Blessed), and a troupe of Prince Barin's (the equally excellent Timothy Dalton) Arborian tree people, to conspire an end to Ming's merciless regime. With only his humanity, courage and a birdman rocket cycle at hand, can Flash get the people of Mongo to fight together and save the earth?
It's testament to both director Mike Hodges and producer Dino De Laurentiis that they contrived to create such a simple plot, harking back
to the original comic book designs of the 1930's, to ensure the film remains endlessly entertaining. Goodies to cheer for, bad guys to boo, half-naked princesses to gawp at (step forward the lovely Ornella Muti), a large climatic and grandiose battle - everything is in its natural place. Whilst sci-fi often degenerates into pompous intellectualising or faux epic pretentiousness, Hodges and De Laurentiis set out to simply provide everyone with a work of enjoyable sci-fi hokum. There are many better films within the genre, but as a piece of interstellar campery populated with wonderfully over the top characters and featuring a host of cheerfully barmy delights, there's little to touch Flash Gordon.
For where else are you likely to see to see bizarre quasi-necrophile sequences in which dead football heroes, wearing only leather pants, are fondled by nympho alien princesses? Or spaceships designed with an eye to phallic integrity? Or baddies with an impractical spandex uniform that liquefy when killed? Or A horny, malevolent gold-faced robot-man called Klytus (think an effete Darth Vader), more likely to criticise your taste in décor before blowing you to atoms, who also enjoys a little kinky S&M? Or two good-looking girls going hell for leather in the ultimate fantasy pillow-fight? Well, other than the soft core porn piss-takes of Flesh Gordon, it's unlikely you'll see such random events anywhere else in the galaxy. Ever! All this and in a film allegedly aimed at the whole family (it's obviously highly subversive stuff - just look at what Ornella Muti is likely to do to a young pubescent mind!). Genius!
The wonderful colour-drenched production design owes a lot to the above (and the Wizard of Oz for its Technicolor triumph) allowing such scenes to merge into the world's of Mungo with such unquestioning ease. And then there are scenes of such quality that they begin to transcend the movie itself. The Arborial initiation ceremony and the battle of wits that entails between Flash and Barin are strung out in an eloquent display of tension building. Flash and Barin's fight to the death on the moving circular platform, with homoerotic whipping and spikes waiting to impale either, is a much overlooked entry into the bloke on bloke punch up. And, most famously of all, there's the birdman assault on an imperial craft (shaped like a penis, naturally), with Voltan's war-cries of "Dive!" accompanying the chaos of laser blasts and explosions, whilst Queen's rock bombast effortlessly plays in the background.
Hodges directs things at an admirable pace, creating hardly a slack moment in the film, and upholds the visual style of the comic strip by shooting the movie at a number of crazy angles and point-of-views. In lesser hands the film might have become an undignified garish mess, but Hodges has class written on his CV with Get Carter and Flash is in just as assured hands. When the excess looks to become too exuberant Hodges pulls back from going overboard. The trees of Arboria, for instance, are a murky and dirty mess, a long way from the rainbow saturated court of Ming. Additionally, Zarkov's memory erase procedure and Flash's execution are much darker than they're given credit for.
The cast, generally, are on top form. Whilst Jones doesn't have the acting pedigree (his voice was dubbed at the last minute) he certainly has the look of our hero. All wavy, blonde hair, big muscles and a physical presence that would make Dr Frank-N-Furter's jaw drop. Dalton deals with clunky dialogue ("Freeze, you bloody bastards") with great gusto and displays the action-adventure calibre which would later see him as the most violent of the Bond's. Both Topol and Sydow have appeared in far more auspicious roles but both seem to be having a great time in the silliness occurring around them, especially Sydow who provides Ming a deliciously dark and sinister edge. Both seem to relish delivering their dialogue in a brilliantly melodramatic way. When Zarkov implores, "Why are you attacking the Earth?" Ming replies with a devilish "Why Not?" Yet everyone is outdone by the magnificent Brian Blessed. Few roles are as memorable as his loveably, roguish birdman leader. Without him (and Queen's massively popular rock anthem) the final attack would be severely lacking and less definitive. All hail Blessed!!
It's unlikely anyone will ever work out on what level (or for that matter, what planet) this film is meant to be taken. Flash Gordon should be a total disaster - an awful shambles of a film with few redeeming qualities. The cardboard characters, lunatic script, embarrassing dialogue, trashy performances and hilarious special effects shouldn't work. Yet, despite the faults its obvious detractors like to point out, Flash Gordon is still irresistibly entertaining. Maybe it's the ambition behind the film that makes it successful. The scope of the set and costume design certainly deserve some credit. Perhaps it's the wondrous sense of fun, established from the get-go by Queen's rousing anthem, continued with some virtuoso set-pieces and complemented by Brian Blessed's battle cry that puts up the blinkers to the flawed facets of the film. Or maybe it's even down to the sheer pantomime simplicity of it all that makes it so hard to bare a grudge. It doesn't take itself seriously and adds a knowing wink to those that are able to emerse themselves into the insanity of it all. No matter, any outright analysis will only serve to provide some extraneous hair pulling. Flash Gordon is quite simply a fantastic slice of comic book endeavour - come and embrace the silliness!
Overall - "Just a man, With a man's courage. He knows nothing but a man, But he can never fail. No one but the pure in heart, May find the golden grail, Oh oh - oh oh." The Queen lyrics say it all. Camp, daft, lunacy of the highest order, that's endlessly entertaining in its quirkiness and adroit sense of fun. This is majestic eighties genius and along with Evil Dead 2, The Princess Bride, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and Big Trouble in Little China, you'll be hard pushed to find anything more relentlessly enjoyable. Don't listen to its po-faced detractors - for sheer cinema fun Flash Gordon can't be beaten.
What's on the DVD - Apart from the film trailer, bugger all. Which is either a blessing or a curse. A blessing, in that the package concentrates solely on the film, which, after all is the main reason you're purchasing the DVD. Or a curse, because how many of you would actually like to hear an audio-commentary with Brian Blessed shouting "DIVE" whenever he gets the opportunity? I know I would…
Director - Mike Hodges (Get Carter, Croupier)
Screenplay - Alex Raymond, Michael Allin and Lorenzo Semple Jr.
Cast -
Sam J. Jones .... Flash Gordon Melody Anderson .... Dale Arden Max von Sydow .... The Emperor Ming Topol .... Doctor Hans Zarkov Ornella Muti .... Princess Aura Timothy Dalton .... Prince Barin Brian Blessed .... Prince Vultan Peter Wyngarde .... Klytus Mariangela Melato .... Kala John Osborne .... Arborian Priest Richard O'Brien .... Fico John Hallam .... Luro
Excellent review. A film I can watch again and again and never get bored of. Nice to see Brian Blessed getting plenty of lines as well.
flumpet 15.05.2006 14:59
I didn't like this film when I saw it as a kid in the early 80's but reading your review think that much of it might have been over my head. Maybe if I saw it again I would see it on another level...
When the totalitarian planet of Mongo decides on a whim to obliterate Earth, it's up to ... more
the quarterback Flash Gordon and his oddball companions to make the universe safe for democracy. Based on the classic (and infinitely more reputable) comic strip an...
Postage & Packaging: £1.21 Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days...
When the totalitarian planet of Mongo decides on a whim to obliterate Earth, it's up to ... more
the quarterback Flash Gordon and his oddball companions to make the universe safe for democracy. Based on the classic (and infinitely more reputable) comic strip an...
Postage & Packaging: Check Site. Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days...
Advantages: Soundtrack by Queen, so overdone it's hilarious, eye candy for boys and girls! Disadvantages: Not the most intelligent storyline in the history of Earth (and Planet Mongo)
jess0910 08.12.2001 (13.12.2001)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful
Review of Flash Gordon (DVD)
Advantages: Soundtrack by Queen, so overdone it's hilarious, eye candy for boys and girls! Disadvantages: Not the most intelligent storyline in the history of Earth (and Planet Mongo)
jess0910 08.12.2001 (13.12.2001)
·
Read review
Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful
Review of Flash Gordon (DVD)