Flash Gordon (DVD)

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TITLE: Flash Gordon

RATING: ****

CAST: Sam J. Jones, Melody Anderson, Timothy Dalton, Ornella Muti, Max Von Sydow, Topol, Brian Blessed, Richard O’Brian, Peter Wyngarde, Mariangela Melato, John Osbourne, Phillip Stone, Robbie Coltrane.

DIRECTOR: Mike Hodges

SCREENWRITER: Lorenxo Semple, Jr.; Michael Allin (adaptation)

STUDIO: Universal Pictures / Famous Films
...The 1980 update of FLASH GORDON can be described in these words: campy, stupid, horribly acted, laughable direction, with awful special effects and considered one of the worst films of all time by many people. I’m different; now excuse me for a minute while I find my other list. Ok, FLASH GORDON is also great fun, colorful, exciting, with eye-popping costumes and production design, and it has one of the most riveting and classic scores in movie history. ... more

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TITLE: Flash Gordon

RATING: ****

CAST: Sam J. Jones, Melody Anderson, Timothy Dalton, Ornella Muti, Max Von Sydow, Topol, Brian Blessed, Richard O’Brian, Peter Wyngarde, Mariangela Melato, John Osbourne, Phillip Stone, Robbie Coltrane.

DIRECTOR: Mike Hodges

SCREENWRITER: Lorenxo Semple, Jr.; Michael Allin (adaptation)

STUDIO: Universal Pictures / Famous Films

RUNNING TIME: 111 MIN.

RATED: PG (UK & US); for comic book style violence and sensuality.

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STAR WARS WANNABE
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I’m not going to lie to you, dear Ciao readers. The 1980 update of FLASH GORDON can be described in these words: campy, stupid, horribly acted, laughable direction, with awful special effects and considered one of the worst films of all time by many people. I’m different; now excuse me for a minute while I find my other list. Ok, FLASH GORDON is also great fun, colorful, exciting, with eye-popping costumes and production design, and it has one of the most riveting and classic scores in movie history. In other words, this movie is impossible to take seriously and, as a result, it is one of the biggest hoots I’ve ever seen. Like so many other people, I watched this film as a kid, maybe even more so than STAR WARS, which would never have existed if it wasn’t for FLASH GORDON. Don’t believe me? Ok, let me give you a little history lesson.

In the early 1930s, Alex Raymond was a “ghost comic book writer” for such famous strips as Blondie; when Buck Rogers became the most famous and talked about comic book character, he was asked to create some competition. With his assistant Don Moore, they came up with Flash Gordon, an athlete who is kidnapped along with Dale Arden, his potential love interest, by Dr. Hans Zarkov and taken to the planet Mongo where he must do battle with the evil Ming the Merciless. The comic strip was a smash hit and an instant success causing an endless series of Saturday matinee serials, cartoons and even some feature films starring Buster Crabbe; there were three made in 1936, 1938 and 1940, respectively. Raymond would then enter World War II and create only one more strip until an accident took his own life in 1956.

Many people who grew up in the 1940s and 1950s loved Flash Gordon, and he even remained somewhat popular after Raymond’s death. One of those individuals who grew up loving Flash was George Lucas, and one day he wanted to make a major film adaptation. When major film producer Dino De Laurentiis (CONAN THE BARBARIAN) had purchased the rights to the classic comic book hero, Lucas had lost his chance and made his own offshoot which was…you guessed it, the story of a farm boy who becomes an interplanetary hero while being helped by a beautiful princess (his potential love interest), and a bad-ass space pirate (who, in the FLASH GORDON universe would be Dr. Hans Zarkov). After three years of finding the directors and actors to make the movie, the update of FLASH GORDON was released in early 1980 to (mostly) bad reviews; some critics said it was a rip-off of STAR WARS. LOL, well, they obviously don’t know their comic book history. Granted, this film may not be perfect, but it has become a cult classic in its own right.

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THIS MING IS A PSYCHO
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The film opens up with a target on the screen aiming at Earth and we here two voices in the background. The one that is being referred to as “your majesty” is having some fun attacking earth with such weather factors as hot hail and sleet, and causing volcanoes and earthquakes to cause damage. In other words, he is planning for the annihilation of Earth. We then meet Flash, and you can guess it is him before he is even introduced because he has his own damn name on his t-shirt, lol. Anyway, he jumps on a private plane and meets the gorgeous Dale Arden and they strike up a conversation. Then the skies turn red and the plane spins out of control, crashing near a laboratory run by Dr. Hans Zarkov, who has been predicting the end of the world, and now he is convinced it is coming. He then kidnaps Dale and Flash as they shoot off to the Planet Mongo.

This unusual trio crashes down on this baron planet, where they are welcomed---or make that captured---by Ming’s guards and taken inside his fortress where we meet some of the planet’s other inhabitants. There is Prince Barin, who has been waiting for so long to take the hand of Ming’s daughter in holy wedlock. There is Prince Vultan, who flies with his aptly named Hawkmen. There is one of Ming’s advisor with a metal mask on his face named Klytus, as well as dozens of scantily clad women who work in Ming’s fortress…and who, predictable, catch the eye of Flash. Then Ming comes out and after working out some of his own dealings with Vultan and Barin notices the unwanted “Earthlings” and starts to fancy Dale. This is when the film really takes off and becomes the epitome of campy fun, when Flash (who introduces himself as the quarterback of the New York Jets) start to fight Ming’s evil minions. He is captured however, and sentenced to death, though he is rescued by Princess Aura, Ming’s seductive daughter (who would make any male stray from Right, trust me, lol!!!). Now, Flash must enlist the help of Barin and Vultan to save Dale from marrying Ming…and even more so, to save Earth from total destruction.

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LIVES IT UP TO ITS COMIC BOOK ORIGINS
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Now, I want to be honest with you: I’ve never grown up fancying comic books; I mostly read novels. I do like my fair share of comic book movies, however. I think the best is and always will be, the 1978 version of SUPERMAN with Christopher Reeve. I did also like the 1989 version of BATMAN, and even the 2002 version of SPIDER-MAN, which I think were faithful to their comic book counterparts on many levels. However, I’ve seen some pretty awful comic book movies as well, such as this year’s HULK and DAREDEVIL, and I think the worst of them all is STEEL with Shaquille O’Neal (don’t even bother!!!). I’ve seen some of the old Flash Gordon comics and even viewed some of the original Buster Crabbe serials, and I must say, that I think FLASH GORDON lives up to its comic book origins more than any other comic book movie. This movie has comic book written all over it, and it is perfectly emphasized by the title sequence, which takes original illustrations and when the live action starts it all looks quite alike in terms of the color, detail and even the actors.

Remember the 1960s television version of Batman with Adam West and Burt Ward? This movie has the same amount of camp and comic book value, and that’s why I think the film works as a whole. Sure, there are some comic book aficionados who prefer a darker, more realistic tone to the comics, which was interesting alternative starting in the 1980s with the new Batman strip called The Dark Knight. As cool as the new Batman was, I still very much admire the 1960s television series, as well as the 1980 version of FLASH GORDON which both have the same elements. Even the title songs have the same amount of pop, highly stylized harmonics. In fact, the connection is so strong that you find out how so when I talk about the screenwriter.

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OUR SAVIOR IS A PLAYGIRL CENTERFOLD?
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The actor who plays Flash Gordon has probably been criticized the most in this film, and I can understand why. Sam J. Jones is still a virtual unknown, and this will always be his most remembered film, which really doesn’t mean much to a lot of people. However, I know there is women out there who can’t deny how good-looking he is, which is a bonus for them. It’s not hard to believe that Jones became the centerfold of the month in a 1975 edition of Playgirl magazine, though it was under the name Andrew Cooper IIi; yes, ladies, I can hear you taking notes right now, lmao. In 1979, he made his film debut in Blake Edward’s masterpice “10” as Bo Derek’s wife; yes, that was him who drifts out to sea and ends up in the hospital while Dudley Moore makes the moves on Bo. After FLASH GORDON, he has only since acted in television and direct-to-video movies, though he still acts today.

Anyway, I really don’t mind him as Flash; what really makes his performance suffer is that he was completely dubbed. Still, he is certainly fun to watch, and he even improves on Buster Crabbe, I think. At the time, I can see why he would have been the ideal Flash, though not many people know that his contender for the role was, believe it or not, Kurt Russell!!!! Ah, what could have been, lol. So, Jones is ok, though he is out shone by the impressive and strong supporting cast.

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PATHETIC EARTHLINGS AND WEIRD MONGOLOIDS
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While Melody Anderson is indeed strikingly beautiful she too suffers as Dale Arden; again, like Jones, she is great fun to watch, though I’m sure director Mike Hodges could have found a better actress. On the flipside, however, since the film was meant to be intentionally cheesy, Jones and Anderson do their jobs quite well. Max Von Sydow was absolutely perfect as Ming, who is so great to watch even if he acts too seriously for the part. His one terrific line, which I will mention in my Quotes section is delivered so well, and it always makes me laugh every time I hear it. I never seen Topol in any other film, though I heard he is most famous for playing the lead role in FIDDLER ON THE ROOF; his Dr. Hans Zarkov also improves upon the serial actor’s portrayal from the 1940s. He may be a classical, theatre trained actor, though he is mesmerizing as this scientist-gone-mad.

Admittedly, Timothy Dalton---who would later star in two James Bond films---seems out of place as Prince Berin though, here again, it adds to the wonderful cheesiness of the whole film. He is admirable, if not commendable; as far as I’m concerned, I think the best actor of the whole piece is Brian Blessed who is on fire the entire time as Prince Vultan…who can never forget how he instructs his Hawkman to “Diiiiivvvveee!!!” He is also famaliar to so many British theater-goers, and has remained a sold supporting actor on the screen ever since. Ornella Muti is not only drop dead sexy as Princess Aura, she certainly plays her role with conviction; like I said, any male in the audience would fall under her seductive spell. Richard O’Brian (of ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW fame) is barely recognizable in a small role as Fico, and see if you can spot comedian Robbie Coltrane early on, in an unaccredited and unbilled appearance as an airport assistant near the beginning.

The special effects, while colorful, certainly leave a lot to be desired, though they are made up for the other qualities in the film. Danilo Donati is one of the greatest costume and set designers who ever lived and his work is certainly evident here. His awards are just endless….he won an Oscar in 1969 for ROMEO & JULIET, he was nominated for three BAFTA awards for his work here, and he has great success now working with Roberto Begnini, winning several honors for LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL and last year’s PINOCCHIO. I would guess that there are over 100 different costumes in FG alone, and each one has a sharp, unique detail that is truly stunning. This is one of the best elements to savor in this movie. His work here, combined with Ferdinando Scarfiotti’s superb production design and Gilbert Taylor’s delicious cinematography make the movie wonderful to look at. Though, the sound of the film is also incredible.

You all know the words. You all know the music. Most of all, you know the Band!!! Queen did very few film scores (their only other one was for the forgettable 1986 film HIGHLANDER), but this one is a delight to hear from start to finish. As soon as the music is played over the opening credits, I always get blown away by it. It gets even better near the end of the film, as Flash is hurtling his way in a spaceship about ready to crash. The reason why I think this score is so great is that it fits the movie to a tee and compliments our hero’s qualities of strength and power. I’m happy to have the soundtrack in my collection.

The director of FLASH GORDON has had a mediocre career at best. Mike Hodges made his directorial debut with the original GET CARTER with Michael Caine, a minor classic in its own right, though after that impressive intro, he kind of went a wrong turn, making such forgettable films MORONS FROM OUTER SPACE and one of Sandra Bullocks’ worst films, MURDER BY NUMBERS. He certainly seems to have faith in this comic book adaptation and gives all the energy he could, though it is still uninspired in my book.

The film was adapted to the screen by Michael Allin (who wrote the Bruce Lee classic ENTER THE DRAGON) and the screenplay was written with pizzaz and a large dose of delightfully campy humor by Lorenzo Semple, Jr who, like I hinted at before, wrote many of the television episodes of Batman, and even wrote the movie version based on the series. Next to Queen’s music, this is the next thing I love about FLASH GORDON; the dialogue he writes is so funny and yet so cheesy that like Adam West said about him writing Batman, “it’s so pretentious it’s just wonderful!!!” He was no doubt the only person who could adapt Flash so well to the screen; you know, I even wonder if anyone else was willing to write it!!!

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LONG LIVE FLASH...HAVE A NICE DAY!!
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I loved writing a review on this cult classic, I really did. I still love it to this day, and to all those who haven’t seen it yet, please check it out, especially if you love comic book movies. I guess we will have to decide on our own if we will accept a new treatment if it comes out. Still, it won’t have Queen’s music, and that alone I think it will not be worthy in any respect. Thank you so much Reading…and I will expect some interesting comments from all of you!!! Cheers for now!!! Chris xxxxx

1) “Klytus!!! Are you men on the right pills? Maybe you should execute that traitor!!!” --- Max Von Sydow

2) “Oh, Flash, I love you!!! Though we only have 12 Hours left to save the Earth.” --- Melody Anderson

3) “Don’t kill him yet, Father! I want him! Give him to me!” --- Ornella Muti

4) “Thank you for giving a dumb old bird a second chance!” --- Brian Blessed

5) “We should go to my secret pleasure moon…there is a fortress there made just for two!” --- Ornella Muti

6) “Oh, man, this girl is really turning me on!” --- Sam J. Jones

7) "I don't want to meet any Prince...I need to rescue my friends and save the Earth!!!" --- Sam J. Jones

8) "Do you Ming the Merciless, Ruler of the Universe, take this Earthling Dale Arden to be your Empress of the Hour? --- JO (Priest) "Of the hour, yes!" --- MVS "Do you promise to use her as you will? --- JO "CERTAINLY!!!" --- MVS 

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