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I'm Sure I've Seen Worse....... Surely??????

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1 Aug 16th, 2009 

63 Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

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I'll come back to you

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Story, actors, delivery, 90 minutes lost forever

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sghawken

sghawken

About me:

Doh!

Member since:31.10.2005

Reviews:897

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Having been released from rehab Melanie (Leah Pipes) joins the rest of her family in a new town where they can avoid her shameful past. As sister Crystal (Kristin Cavallari) approaches the new family home with her recently release sister she tells a terrible story about how back in the 1960’s whilst returning from a school trip, the towns children are involved in a terrible accident in which there bus collided with a high speed train as all their parents watched on helpless at the terrible carnage that ensued. Crystal tells Melanie that according to urban legend if you park your car in neutral near the railway crossing the ghosts of the dead children will push you safely across to the other side. As more and more of the town’s residents tell Melanie the same story, she sets out to discover if there is any truth to the legend; and while she finds out the truth about the story, she also discovers a terrible secret kept by the town’s people since that fateful day.

If a movie gets technically shelved there is genuinely a reason, made in 2006 and having received a limited release Fingerprints has suddenly turned up across the world on DVD. It struck me immediately that the rushed release may have something to do with one of its stars Lou Diamond Phillips recently winning I’m A Celebrity and enjoying a second chance as being know as a sex symbol, after previously enjoying limited appreciation after smash hit movies Young Guns and Renegades. The truth behind the matter I guess however is closer to the fact that Fingerprints is just plain awful.

Despite featuring a reasonable cast including Josh Henderson (Desperate Housewives, 90210), Sally Kirkland (Bruce Almighty) and Geoffrey Lewis (Devil’s Rejects, Maverick) the general acting standard is awful which is a leading contributor as to why Fingerprints fails so badly. Everybody looks reasonably unimpressed to be part of the movie, almost as if they are literally being forced to appear; maybe it was something contractual. Some of the less experienced actors actually seem to be suffering from severe delayed reaction, a big issue when their character is brutally hacked to death and they do not seem to realise. Melanie and Crystal’s Mother (played by an actress I have no reason to investigate the history of) is portrayed by one of the most emotionally devoid actresses I have ever seen, never once showing any facial expression. The presence of Lou Diamond Phillips (for all of his five minutes on screen) is just a cheap attempt at securing viewers by attaching a once big name to the project.

Overall delivery is by far the biggest offence of the movies writers and director. The movie veers well of its original intended course, at times it seems like the story was being written as the movie was being filmed, almost as if aspects of the story could either not be achieved or the producers felt it was not going to please audiences. When the movie turns from being about ghosts to a typical (and pretty awful) slasher movie, things just get too bad for words. When two women are snatched by the killer and taken to a hidden location, they are suddenly joined by a friend without any explanation as to how he knew to look for them there.

And as a final assault, the movie has one of those nasty 1980’s TV movie hues that dominate the images. And 80’s TV movie is probably the best way of summing up Fingerprints. It’s far from the grizzly horror described on the case of the DVD. At best it’s an afternoon movie on some obscure satellite channel with a little bit of blood thrown in.

I have to confess I nodded off to sleep for about twenty minutes of the movie, but I never missed anything, the movie seemed to have moved no further on by the time I had awoke, and certainly while I’d been in another dimension nobody had died.

Fingerprints is released by Anchor Bay DVD and has no special features other than a splattering of trailers for other equally bad looking movies. I have to say it makes me wonder what has happened to the company that releases such classics like The Long Good Friday, Hellraiser and Withnail and I on DVD. You can purchase Fingerprints for around £15, but if you have the desire to see it think seriously about renting it instead.
 

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Comments about this review »

bandcamp 26.10.2009 21:10

Sounds totally dire! I do feel for you at times, watching the drivel you do...

blackmagicstar4 27.08.2009 09:12

Fab review x

Mitsudan 26.08.2009 13:03

I think you hit the nail on the head in the second paragraph! David

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