Fair Game (DVD)

...foreheads...

Fair Game is the acting debut of super model Cindy Crawford and also showcases the "talent" of William Baldwin (one of the Baldwin brothers). The film is directed by newcomer Andrew Sipes.

Cindy Crawford plays attorney at law Kate McQueen who is the target of demented KGB Agent, Col. Ilya Kazak (theatrical legend Steven Berkoff) and his hi-tech team of rouge KGB agents. William Baldwin is homicide ...
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BOTTOM LINE
Fair Game is not really worth the time and effort of anyone. Lads will watch it becuase of Cindy Crawford and some mildly entertaining action sequences but will never watch it sober. Crawford's white top does manage to get smaller and smaller as the film progresses which will satisfy some. Complete with a laughable script, ultimately poor acting and some budget looking effects, it's not one you'll quing round the block ... more

Lets set the scene:
I'm a fat cat hollywood movie producer and I want to make an action blockbuster hit to earn me even more millions than I already have at the moment. I'm sitting in my office, in my production company, in my movie studio and i'm pondering...

Producer : " Oh, i've just recieved this script called 'Fair Game'. This could be that big action hit that i've been looking for. Now let's see, I need a director... yeah we'll get some guy who's never done a single mainstream film before, now what about cast? How about Cindy Crawford for the female lead? She's a super model therefore must be a super actress! And we'll get that William Baldwin guy to be the male lead. This is going to be a big hit! So big that i'm going to give my newbie director $50 million to make this film work... "

The film has been made and turns out to be a complete flop only managing to scrape $11 million WORLDWIDE!

Producer : "Oh fiddlesticks! What on earth went wrong? I could have swore that the film was going to a big hit, despite having a cliche ridden script, halfarse effects and dodgey acting... "

What's that sound? It's the sound of a multitude of people simutaneously slapping the palms of their hands down on their foreheads...

Fair Game is the acting debut of super model Cindy Crawford and also showcases the "talent" of William Baldwin (one of the Baldwin brothers). The film is directed by newcomer Andrew Sipes.

Cindy Crawford plays attorney at law Kate McQueen who is the target of demented KGB Agent, Col. Ilya Kazak (theatrical legend Steven Berkoff) and his hi-tech team of rouge KGB agents. William Baldwin is homicide detective Max Kirkpatrick, the only one who can save her from the Russians and their slippery accents.

Now on the run, with the KGB half a step behind with great thanks to their specialist gadgetry and hi-tech surveillance equipment, Kate and Max must form an unlikely partnership and beat the Russians at their own game in order to survive.

Performances are pretty abysmal all round. Crawford can not act to a competent degree and its almost cringe worthy watching her perform scenes of "intense" dialogue. William Baldwin is a slight improvement but by all means not by leaps and bounds. Salma Hayek (she plays Max's ex girlfriend) is criminally underused as Rita and would be unfair to judge her as she only features in one scene! Steven Berkoff ("A Clockwork Orange") is the only performance with real credability; the crazy soviet spy. At least his Russian accent is fluent, unlike the other KGB team members, who's accents broke in and out of Russian.

Director Andrew Sipes sets it so that te first twenty minutes or so is to build on a very lacklusture plot and spend the rest of the film enthralled in a cat & mouse style chase. From the moment Crawford's exotic yet affordable appartment gets blow sky high, (she miraculously survives however, by being thrown off the balcony and into a conviently placed swimming pool and thus creating an extra hour of pointless running) we are given one halfarse explosion after another that string together something reminisant to that of a 'chase'.

The effects are a little substandard and didn't really impress, there's nothing here that hasn't been done before. The set pieces themselves also don't excite. However, a chase scene on a freeway involving a toetruck started to perk my excitement up but it was definately too little too late. The chase scene in question was the only real scene that actually possesed some amount of energy. Even the obligitory love scene between the two leads (it's never a case of 'if' but 'when' in these films) in a boxcar on a train doesn't get the pulses raising that much despite a bare breasted Crawford. It gets going but is interupted by an assassin who has conviently appeared out of no where, armed to the teeth with automatic weapons and laser sights. Even this guy couldn't kill them while the pair were engaged in sexual congress and therefore a little two occupied to be caring about that sort of thing.

Soundtrack is standard stuff and only elevates the cheesiness of the film, and the chesse is delivered by the skip load. The formula of a burnt out humourless cop/general good guy who possesses access to firearms and a headstrong starlett/bimbo who's never fired a weapon before in her life but when the occasion calls for it, has better accuracy than a member of the SAS. And why does such a beautiful woman (who is always conviently single) who most probably has no shortage of offers always fall for a dull action junkie? Whoops, there's that smell of cheese again...

BOTTOM LINE
Fair Game is not really worth the time and effort of anyone. Lads will watch it becuase of Cindy Crawford and some mildly entertaining action sequences but will never watch it sober. Crawford's white top does manage to get smaller and smaller as the film progresses which will satisfy some. Complete with a laughable script, ultimately poor acting and some budget looking effects, it's not one you'll quing round the block to get your hands on. Feel free to purchase it, but be sure you get for a couple of quid in the video bargain bucket at B-Wise or whereever. Thinking about it, the DVD ain't going for that much either, wonder why...

CERTIFICATE : 15
TIME APPROX : 87 minutes

CAUTION
some strong violence
some bad language
one scene of sex

IF YOU LIKE THIS TRY : -
The Transporter - another unlikely partnership between Jason Statham and Shu Qi as they run from an endless swarm of bad guys who manage to appear everywhere.

$11 million worldwide! I bet Crawford's mole is insured for more than that!!!

<DarkMark 

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