Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask DVD > Reviews > Well I know I didnt want to know this

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Advantages:	it is based on a real life book so you cant blame all of the perversion on Allen
Disadvantages:	it may offend a few people and it isnt that funny

Recommend to potential buyers:

yes

Full review

This film is a comedy with a difference, as Woody Allen wrote, directed and starred in it and poured his alternative humour and eccentricity into the screenplay. According to credits and the international trailer featured on the DVD I own the film is based on a book called Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex by Dr David Reuben. When I first heard of the film I thought this most bizarre, basing a film for widespread cinematic viewing on a book written by a medical doctor that would probably not be read by the majority of its viewers, but I had assumed that the book would be written in a style that those without medical training could understand and may feature material appropriate to be made into a film. Having seen the film I think that was a bit of a misassumption. The film does not piece together at all well, as it is split into scenes or scenarios which could not be any more different from one another. According to one review, these scenarios "probe sexuality's stickiest issues". I will take you through a breakdown of these scenarios:

1. Do Aphrodisiacs Work?
It's Medieval England in a castle beginning with a feast to celebrate success at war for the King and Queen. Allen plays a fool with a bad sense of humour who offends the King yet manages to fulfil an ambition in seducing the Queen (Lynn Redgrave) using an aphrodisiac, only to be stopped in his tracks by her chastity belt. Allen's humorously clumsy style in trying to overcome this hindrance produces some very funny moments. Still, it is my least favourite scene as the poor attempts at Medieval English language grate on my nerves.

2. What is Sodomy?
The gorgeous and seductive Gene Wilder plays Dr Doug Ross, married to the perfect wife and living the American dream. Stavros Milos, a Shepard from Armania, travels to the US to see the doctor about his ailing relationship with Daisy, an Armanian sheep. The doctor quickly overcomes his dumfoundedness and disgust when he meets Daisy and falls in love with her. The resulting affair destroys his marriage and loses him his job and medical license in a situation more perverse and morose than humorous.

3. Why Do Some Women Have Trouble Reaching Orgasm
This scene is filmed entirely in spoken Italian with English subtitles, for which I did not understand Allen's motive. A modern Italian couple get married but he becomes worried when she fails to have an orgasm on their wedding night, so he tries everything he can think of to correct his, but to no avail. Until one day when they are in a shop, where he discovers how she positively she responds to having intercourse in public places. He loves her dearly and is willing to cater to her need, as he is desperate to please her. Hilarity follows as he fears getting caught.

4. Are Transvestites Homosexuals?
Sam and Taz are preparing for dinner with the parents of their future son-in-law, Alvin. Whilst at their house, Sam has a funny turn on the way to the toilet, and steals into Alvin's parent's bedroom and dresses in the mother's clothes. He comes close to being caught by Alvin's father so he jumps out of the window into the street, and hilarious pandemonium results. This is by far the funniest scene in the film for me, as the worst happens to Sam in his vulnerable situation.

5. What Are Sex Perverts?
An immensely strange scene about a 50s game show called "What's My Perversion?", hosted by Jack Barry (playing himself). A panel of judges must guess the contestant's perversion by asking a series of questions Through-The-Keyhole style, the contestant earning $5 per negative answer to the questions. Featuring an uncanny John Travolta lookalike in the show's sponsor's advertisement taming his curly hair with some hair conditioner before snogging his male co-star!
Like the sodomy scene, this scene seems to attempt to put some normality to disturbing and freakish sexual activities.

6. Are The Findings Of Doctors And Clinics Who Do Sexual Research And Experiments Accurate?
Doctor Bernado (John Carradine) is a famous eccentric researcher on sexual phenomena, the first man to "measure the soundwaves produced by an erection" and "the first man to discover how to make a man impotent by hiding his hat". Helen Lacey, a journalist meets Victor Shakapopolis, who is going to work with Doctor Bernado, when she is en route to meet and interview the doctor. Arriving at the doctor's large, cold and spooky house, they encounter the true madness of the doctor in his lab, where Victor and Helen are horrified to discover the doctor has plans to use them in his next experiment. Victor's desperate attempts to save Helen cause the lab to explode and the subsequent release of a huge silicon breast, which is let loose to terrorise the country, blasting all in its path with milk. Victor has a plan and sets a trap for it. This scene is way too bizarre for my liking, especially when the doctor is showing Victor and Helen's current experiments. It becomes less and less funny the more times I watch it.

7. What Happens During Ejaculation?
Burt Reynolds feature in this scene set in a central control room staffed with teams of men responsible for the entire functioning of the body of a man called Sydney, who is on a dinner date with an attractive woman. After a series of previous failures to perform, the teams are determined that he successfully has intercourse. Meanwhile in the penis the sperm, one of whom is played by Allen, contemplate their future beyond the body. The scene is poignantly funny for me, it never ceases to make me laugh. Allen is so scared and innocent in this scene, I almost feel sorry for him!

In general, the more I watch this film the more times I wondered why exactly I bought it on VHS AND DVD. The VHS was on offer for £3 and I hadn't seen it for a while, and the DVD was a present, but I cannot remember asking for it! It is funny the first time you see it, but the more and more times I watch it the humour just dies. I also start to lose all understanding of the origin or purpose of these scenes, especially as none of them are related in their themes and only by the goal of "probing sexuality's stickiest issues" and because Allen stars in them all. On the other hand, some viewers may feel the differences in the scenes give variety to the film. I am sure that the point of it all is extremely intellectual as I assume that it is all an intelligent jest at what is featured in the book written by Dr Reuben, so I must one day read it. But I do wonder how many more people may find themselves at a loss for understanding this film, as I wouldn't have thought the majority of the cinema goers who initially saw this film when it was first released would have read a medical book. Maybe I'm wrong because I haven't seen the book. Until I read it I try to spare myself from passing judgement, but this isn't a particularly memorable film.