Eight Legged Freaks DVD > Reviews > come on take it like a spider-monkey

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Advantages:	Welcome distraction from more 'serious' films
Disadvantages:	not everyones cup of tea, maybe not enough nudity

Recommend to potential buyers:

yes

Full review

Me and my friend captain morgan love a good film. day after day we sit in front of the gogglebox watching dvd's and drinking his spicy juice over ice till we:

a) end up being sick on each other

or

b) end up laughing like girls and kiss

actually ignore that last one.......

When the film is finished we normally have a mass debate over the finer points of the film, the captain normally get's angry at my stupidity and pokes me in the eye with his weapon, a frantic wrestling session then ensues.

Last week i got this little number posted through my door from the good people at play.com. It was a few days early, arriving the saturday before general release, so i was confident the captain had not seen it and that i would have the upper hand having seen it at the cinema (they banned captain from my local UGC for attacking the screen during episode 1, but who can blame him).

We sat down to watch it, all excited like journalists for a magazine getting pre-releases, and opened the dip and the crisps.

Eight legged freaks is a modern take on old fashioned B-movies, the ones with creatures from space that take place in small american towns. Except that instead of creatures from space we have giant spiders that have been munching on insects from a water supply polluted with toxic waste.

the small town prosperity is in trouble, the local mayor has invested in an ostrich farm and a huge mall that noone visits and the local mine that supposedly contains a stack of gold, is due to be closed. Chris Mccormack (david arquette- scream 1,2 and 3) returns to the town after the death of his father, the owner of the mine. Chris intends to find the lost gold, win back his sweetheart sherrif sam parker (Kari Wuhrer- not much but B movies, HEY!!!) and save the day. He didn't count on giant arachnids showing up and spoiling the party.

So that's basically the plot really, Spiders of all shape and size run amok through the town eating people and generally making you squirm. Chris and the sherrif team up with sms two kids, the local crazy pirate radio station guy who is obssessed with government conspiracies and some of the towns survivors and take refuge at the mall for the films finale.

Nothing in this film is subtle, from homages to george romeros zombie films to B-movie classic quotes (chris mccormack up a mast surrounded by spiders screaming 'THEY'RE HERE!!!!!' is pretty damn funny) to the old classic kid who noone believes ( who in fact is young daredevil scott terra, this kid could have a bright future). Theres everything you could want from a dumb action movie, jumps, gore, thrills and explosions, the comedy element is well apparent aswell with specific attention to the films score by john ottman who did the score for similar giant monster movie lake placid and can next be heard on x men 2. Itsy bitsy spider is a theme running throught the film but one classic moment is the old western type piece that accompanies the spiders coming over the cliffs to attack a group of kids on dirtbikes, probably the best sequence of the film. The spiders themselves are given gremlin type whoops and shrieks which adds to the comedy element but may annoy some viewers.

The spiders are suitably gruesome looking, the special effects team have done a good job of making them blend in with the actors and the films backdrops.

Overall this is an entertaining movie, not on ethat will stick in your memory for long or bag anyone acting plaudits but a film that fills 95 minutes and has the desired effect of accompanying your drinking session. Special mention should go to roland emmerich and dean devlin who after recent flop godzilla jumped back on the mutant creature horse and made a well entertaining picture.

me and the captain salute you!

-------------------FINAL IMPRESSIONS-----------------

Don't normally do this kind of bit but will after a friend of mine told me i was hypocritical for enjoying this film and slagging off similar dumb gross out comedy's. My defence is this,i don't like a film that insults my intelligence and eight legged freaks wears it's heart on it's sleeve and makes no apologies for being a shocking, comedy bug fest. it's a bit like a monkey who sit's i his cage picking his backside all day and gurning at passers by, he doesn't care that you laugh so you don't feel guilty for standing pointing and chuckling away, he's put a lot of thought into his daily routine, yes he could try reading, talking and doing sign language, he could be a super monkey but he decides to be 'ass picking monkey'. He has a broad range but decides that for the meantime he is doing something for the kids. Unlike those damn chickens who can only churn out the same old clucking all day lon, clucking away till it becomes so damn repetitve that you just want to scream, break in and drop kick them (animal activists note the joke before crucifying me).
So eight legged freaks is a ass picking super monkey and pap like the sweetest thing and other cheap laugh movies are annoying stupid chickens. Take that advice with you and nothing will go wrong in life.

Anyway back to the film, rent it or buy it, hate it and then call me a fool, i'm off now to go and kick the captains ass at pocket billiards.

see you soon folks

pablo