I'll apologise in advance, but the best thing about watching this movie was so I could mentally poke fun at all the underground dwelling trenchcoated goth-types who showed up to see it. I'm sorry. Does that make me a bad person? I don't know, but whoever made this gigantic turkey is a very, very bad person, and should still be beating themselves with birch branches until... I don't know, Nancy Reagan tells them to stop. (hey, I don't know. Insert your own geriatric celebrity here...)
But even the hardiest fans must have realised the travesty which was unfolding onscreen. High camp, some intrusive CGI, all in the name of what is, in certain circles, a way of life... I kinda missed the RPG boat as a kid: Even the geeks wouldn't let me join their gang at school, so I tended to drink antifreeze on the beach. After watching this, I may go back. Roll a 50-sided dice to decide.
Jeremy Irons is the only cast member I can remember, and he looked to be having a blast; I guess no-one can pass up the chance to be a ham in a big flowy dress thing. The rest of them? Truly can't recall. Don't remember the director. Don't remember the plot (not sure if there was one.) There were elves, dwarves, trees and baddies, I think. I do remember that the big bag of chocolate raisins I had during the show was mighty fine, though.
I think that the major problem with this is that it was so blatantly pitched at a specific demographic: Sci-Fi guys of around 23+. These are the guys who played the damned games in the first place, so they're the ones who are going to pay the money for the big screen adaptation. Unfortuneately, they've been saturated with one of the more inventive genres in film. Who wants to watch claptrap like this when you've got the Matrix on DVD? Star Wars? Lord Of The Rings on the horizon? The game was ripped off by a million fantasy film makers way before the official film got to the party. By that time, we'd already seen much better.
On the upside, film makers should be forced to make better movies to make an impact in such a crowded elven glade. Such atrocity as this lacks pace, story, suspense or originality, and so should be buried in a lead cask. Really, really deep. How can I say such things, when I can't even remember it? BECAUSE I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER IT. A film should linger in your mind, make you think that the world is a better/worse/sexier place. The only emotion I was left with after seeing D&D was that I wished I'd seen Hannibal instead (but don't start me on that...)
I don't know why I wrote this, really. I'm not contributing anything to the critical art. The review is terse, abusive, probably offensive. In the end, I suppose I want to warn you: Avoid. Look at the other reviews for greater disection (post mortem?). Heed their advice. And be nice to goth types. Some of them have guns, and they can hack my personal details and come get me.
How helpful would this review be to a person making a buying decision? Rating guidelines
Production Year: 2002 - Action/Adventure - Director: Vincenzo Natali - Original Language: English - Classification: 15 years and over - Starring:Lucy Liu, David Hewlett, Anne Marie Scheffler, Joseph Scoren, Matthew Sharp, Jeremy Northam
Production Year: 1977 - Action/Adventure - Director: Clint Eastwood - Original Language: English - Classification: 18 years and over - Starring:Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Pat Hingle, William Prince, Bill McKinney
Production Year: 1964 - Action/Adventure - Director: Cyril Endfield - Original Language: English - Classification: Parental Guidance - Starring:Stanley Baker, Jack Hawkins, Ulla Jacobsson, James Booth, Michael Caine, Nigel Green
Production Year: 2003 - Action/Adventure - Original Language: English - Classification: 12 years and over - Starring:Tom Welling, Kristin Kreuk, Michael Rosenbaum, Sam Jones III, Allison Mack, Eric Johnson, Annette O'Toole, John Glover, John Schneider
PS. Glad you enjoyed the chocolate raisins.....Ken
the_mad_cabbie 10.06.2001 19:29
Haven't seen the film, and have no intention of doing so.....The game was a load of crap anyway, so I'm not surprised the film is no better.....Ken (the mad cabbie)
A sword and sorcery fantasy,Dungeons and Dragonsthe film is based on the role-playing game ... more
first introduced in the 1970s. It delivers some of the same kind of fantasy and fun the game offered, as its youthful heroes journey through a magical kingdom ba...
Postage & Packaging: £1.21 Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days...
A sword and sorcery fantasy,Dungeons and Dragonsthe film is based on the role-playing game ... more
first introduced in the 1970s. It delivers some of the same kind of fantasy and fun the game offered, as its youthful heroes journey through a magical kingdom ba...
Postage & Packaging: Free! Availability: Usually dispatched within 24 hours...
When the emperor is felled by an assassin's poison, his only heir, the Child-Princess ... more
Savina, quickly discovers that the greatest threat the Empire has ever faced will come from within. The respected Archmage Profion has set in motion his dark plans to...
When the emperor is felled by an assassin's poison his only heir the Child-Princess ... more
Savina quickly discovers that the greatest threat the Empire has ever faced will come from within. The respected Archmage Profion has set in motion his dark plans to...
Postage & Packaging: £0.00 Availability: 3-5 working days
Advantages: nice graphics in places Disadvantages: poor script, bad directing
SarahJohnston_greenmums 03.10.2007 (03.10.2007)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful
Review of Dungeons And Dragons (DVD)
Advantages: good effects, interesting story. Richard O Brian and Marlon Wayans Disadvantages: if you don’t enjoy fantasy films you probably won’t like this
Advantages: Good effects Disadvantages: Awfull acting
martin_hunt 02.03.2001 (02.03.2001)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: somewhat helpful
Review of Dungeons And Dragons (DVD)
![Dungeons And Dragons [DVD] [2001]](http://picnicb.ciao.com/uk/78545805.jpg "Dungeons And Dragons [DVD] [2001]")
Jun 9th, 2001
very helpful by (100%):
