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Swindling The Public With A Well-Known Title

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1 Jul 1st, 2009 

35 Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful

Advantages:
None .

Disadvantages:
Terrible special - effects, cheesy script, very poor acting .

Recommendable No:

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About me:

"It isn't how you get there, it's what you do along the way that counts."

Member since:21.02.2007

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Director: Mark Atkins
Writers: Brian Brinkman & Micho Rutare
Genre: Fantasy
Country: USA
Certification: 12+
Language: English
DVD Release: TBC

MAIN CAST:

Daniel Bonjour (Arkadi)
Jennifer Dorogi (Katya)
Gary Miller-Youst (Grandfather)
Marc Singer (Maxim)
Brian Thompson (Kirill)


When the evil sorcerer Kirill summons the powers of darkness to take over the land, Grandfather, who has been grooming a new Keeper, is caught unprepared. Grandfather has not managed to teach his young apprentice the ways of the Keeper, in fact, he hasn't even told the young man that he IS the Keeper--therefore, when Grandfather is killed by Kirill's evil fiery dragon, the Keeper, Arkadi, is forced to flee the village in search of Maxim, an old knight Grandfather once told him he should seek out in the event of his death.

Managing to find Maxim, Arkadi is told that in order to become the Keeper, which, in turn, will unlock his hidden powers, he must go on a quest and retrieve the stones that belong with the amulet Grandfather gave him. Each stone depicts a quality that the Keeper must possess [humility, virtue, diligence, etc...]; therefore, the real Keeper will only win each stone if he is worthy.

Accompanying Arkadi on his quest, alongside Maxim, is a beautiful warrior by the name of Katya... a warrior who is a bit miffed that she wasn't chosen as the Keeper.

For those who are wondering... no, this is not the same 'DragonQuest' that Anne McCaffrey wrote--this movie has absolutely nothing to do with McCaffrey's wonderful book, so don't run out to see this movie if you're expecting McCaffrey magic because you're going to be extremely disappointed.

'DragonQuest' is, without a doubt, the worst movie to come out in years... in fact, not only is it absolute rubbish, it is a dastardly farce meant to trick people into handing over their hard-earned cash because the title will mesmerise people into believing it's based on McCaffrey's book.

The first few scenes of the movie possess just enough mystery and magic to reel in its audience, especially the breathtaking view of the mountains with its heady atmosphere that screams 'Kingdom of Heaven', 'Braveheart' and 'Beowulf'. Five minutes into the movie, Arkadi and Grandfather are discussing Arkadi's ineptitudes, and the viewer cringes because the acting is absolutely horrendous. There is no body language, no facial expressions, only the coldness and emptiness of a very bland script being read aloud by two amateur actors who should never have been cast in this movie... or any other for that matter. The quality of the acting is simply appalling--I've seen better acting in B-rated slasher movies!

Moving on from the incredibly bad acting, the viewer is made to watch the most incredibly inane and dreadful battle scene that moviedom has ever created! As the battle rages between the forces of good and evil, the action and special-effects are so patchy and amateurish that the viewer can actually see the swords sliding between arms and rib cages, like it used to do when we were kids playacting battle scenes, and heads rolling off extremely obvious 'dummies'... no, not talking about flesh and blood actors, but real 'dummies', the kind you see in shop windows!

At exactly 27:22 into the movie, time comes to a near halt and simply refuses to go any faster than a snail's pace--the acting has gotten so much worse because Maxim has appeared on the screen and his expression is reminiscent of someone who is sucking lemons... you expect his expression to change, you WANT it to change, but it doesn't, and all of a sudden you're expecting this 'supposed' knight to let out a pirate-like; "thar she be matey". I simply couldn't understand why Marc Singer, an experienced actor {'Eagle Eye' - 'BeastMaster'], would feel the need to give his character a pirate-like voice and expression. It's beyond explanation.

As the movie progresses and the viewer is forced to accept the fact that the movie is a total waste of time and money, a few spectacular scenes are thrown in with views of the mountains, and the atmosphere takes on that 'epic' feel again... but, of course, it doesn't last. More amateurish special-effects are inserted, and the dialogue hits rock bottom when the evil sorcerer and Arkadi are finally brought together. The final battle scene between the two is total rubbish... visualise this... the two men are standing 2 meters away from each other, each has a hand held out towards the other with what looks like a small ball of light in their palms which they expel towards their adversary but ends up colliding in the centre and creating a bigger ball of light... Arkadi is being forced back, and although he is supposedly exerting a superhuman amount of energy, his expression remains bland and he hasn't even broken into a sweat, regardless that he's being pushed backwards - as for Kirill, no sweat there either, but his expression does look a bit harassed...

Needless to say that I absolutely hated this movie because it was created for the sole purpose of swindling the public out of their money... how dare they call this movie 'DragonQuest' when all you see of the supposed dragons are one fiery ticked-off silhouette and a whitish/blue icy silhouette that appear sporadically throughout the movie and are nothing more than the essence of the sorcerers, not actual dragons.

The 'quest' itself is comprised of sporadic segments where the character does something good and is rewarded with one of the amulet stones... such as when he comes upon a beautiful woman in a bathtub and refuses her offer to bathe with her, and is rewarded for his gentlemanly behaviour with the stone of virtue, or when he spends days trying to break a chain after being made a prisoner and is rewarded with the stone of diligence.

This movie possesses absolutely no redeeming qualities. The acting is appalling, the special-effects are amateurish, the dialogue is extremely poor, and although the camera shots and the scenery are breathtaking, the latter two qualities cannot redeem a movie that is excruciatingly boring! With a runtime of just over 88 minutes - we can only be thankful that it didn't last longer.

 

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Comments about this review »

TheHairyGodmother 03.10.2009 17:40

Fab review, well written and informative :)

Expired-Account 01.08.2009 12:03

Think I'll give this one a miss, nicely reviewed though

Annallon 09.07.2009 02:59

Does not sound appealing to me tbh! Good review though/ :)

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