hi, i like listening to hip hop and r 'n' b music, going out with mates watchin films, just about an...
hi, i like listening to hip hop and r 'n' b music, going out with mates watchin films, just about anything really..... except shopping, i HATE it!!
Member since:19.08.2000
Reviews:55
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Maybe you saw Maury Povich unlock the secret of the Pharaoh's tomb on TV. The unabashed highlight came courtesy of Maury's correspondent babe sidekick who, trudging through the tomb, suddenly proclaimed: "Oh My Goodness! I'm Stepping on Bones!" Who said you couldn't desecrate the dead, earn a ratings windfall, and set back the field of archeology a hundred years all at once! Next up, an inside look at the man who put the "sin" in "synergy" as Maury checks aged Viacom and Paramount chief Sumner Redstone for a pulse! Tune in for all the sweeps-week fun!
Did you know Cruel Intentions is based on a book first published in 1782? The film was originally slated to star Sharon Stone, but it was delayed for more than a century until Edison invented the movie business and cocaine was introduced to the gold rush pioneers. According to elder teenager Dick Clark, who was court composer
and sweepstakes spokesman to King Louis XIV at the time, the book "had a good beat and you could dance to it." That was the same year old Ben Franklin burped the memorable slogan "a rolling stone gathers no moss," and his Brit pub-mate Mick Jagger replied "I'll remember that!"
The original title, Les Liaisons Dangereuses, had the disadvantage of sounding really, really French. And as the world knows, unless it ends in "maid," "fries," or "kiss," French is one big "no-try zone."
What's new about the oft-told tale? It's now adapted to the world of teenagers! Here, a nasty glance cuts like a Britney Spear. These nude kids on the block have class instead of classes, and the only grades that count are the cumulative notches on Ryan Phillipe's Johnson. And it appears that Ryan's got more notches than the Post Office has P.O. boxes! Coincidentally, Ryan's Captain Anaconda and the USPS both have daily deliveries, long waiting lines, seductively slow service, peculiar automobiles, a Ten-Most-Wanted list, a fixation on slots and boxes, and the ever-present risk of a violent, exploding outburst, if you know what I mean. Ryan's a male carrier all right!
Luscious babes stand at attention like iron filings when this chick magnet passes by. "God, you're beautiful," says Ryan to a fresh-faced hottie stranger he randomly bumps into, "I'm going to take you to lunch." "Okay!" she replies, bubbling over with enthusiasm, her head bobbing just enough to reveal the metal spring connecting her head to her shoulders. Does this chick walk down stairs or slink like a Slinky?
No wonder Ryan complains he's "so sick of sleeping with these insipid Manhattan debutantes." Just in time, the ushers whipped down the aisles tossing Columbia tie-in copies of Webster's Dictionary to hapless teens scratching their heads over codewords like "insipid," as they desperately looked up the word under 'N as in 'N Sync.
Thanks to the crowded theater, I had the opportunity to sit up close, where Buffy's head loomed as big as a brunette house and her breasts hovered like the hot-air balloons they suspiciously resemble. In fact, one old man had a panic attack, claiming Buffy's bountiful boobs caused him to flashback to the Hindenburg explosion. A small price to pay to hear Buffy utter the "F" word and exercise some lesbian tongue gymnastics. Why can't Buffy say "tight, firm ass" on TV, anyway?
Buffy and Ryan are step-sister and step-brother. Just like the Brady Bunch. That is, if the Brady kids spent all their time grinding on each other's laps. Picture Alice the maid as Alice the dominatrix and the Brady dog as Jan's potential bed-partner (if he'd have her) and you've got Cruel Intentions in a nutshell. Hey girls, this is the flick to watch when your mom buys the male stripper for the slumber party!
Coming soon are teen versions of Othello and Hamlet, among others. What with all the classic drama being re-written with a 12-year-old in mind, why stop there? What about the under-12 market, Hollywood? Where's Little Boyz in the Hood? Who's hiding Message in a Baby Bottle? What about All the President's Toddlers, where Jonathan Lipnicki from Jerry Maguire is elected president and immediately legalizes "playing in the street"? What about Reservoir Puppies - featuring Mr. White, Mr. Orange, Mr. Pee in the Pants, and Mr. Poop in the Potty?
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Production Year: 2000 - Drama - Director: Giuseppe Tornatore - Original Language: Italian - Classification: 15 years and over - Starring: Monica Bellucci, Giuseppe Sulfaro, Luciano Federico, Matilde Piana
Production Year: 2004 - Drama - Director: Nick Cassavetes - Original Language: English - Classification: 15 years and over, 12 years and over - Starring: Rachel McAdams, Ryan Gosling, Gena Rowlands
Advantages: How good the actors are and how class they make this movie to be.And how no special effects are needed to make this movie how good it is. Disadvantages: wasnt long enough lol
crazygeordie 28.06.2001 ·
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful
Review of Cruel Intentions
Advantages: it was watchable in a funny sort of way Disadvantages: The quality of acting didn't compare to the original, Repeated quotes from the first film
jenni_a 29.04.2003 (29.04.2003)
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Ciao members have rated this review on average: very helpful
Review of CruelIntentions 2 (DVD)
Aug 27th, 2000
