I AM ON STRIKE. I DEMAND THAT THE 10P RATE FOR WRITNG AND THE 2P RATE FOR READING BE REINSTATED. UN...
I AM ON STRIKE. I DEMAND THAT THE 10P RATE FOR WRITNG AND THE 2P RATE FOR READING BE REINSTATED. UNTIL THEN, I WRITE AND READ NO MORE.
Member since:11.07.2001
Reviews:35
Members who trust:14
I wouldn’t say that I have not at one time been inspired by martial arts films…I have a particular liking for Mr. Lee (He of the Bruce) and so when this film appeared on the scene, I viewed it with mild interest, although never getting around to seeing it until my sister (in a moment of madness, I don’t know…) decided to BUY it on DVD, and insisted that I watch it.
The first thing that flashed across my mind like a blinding pain was: Why is everyone flying around? Let’s look at the facts here: even though Martial Arts are, by rights, the invention of the Orientals and a very interesting sport too, it seems that ‘The Matrix’ cornered the limelight by the ‘I fly and kick you in thine face’ routine. So, is this what the makers of ‘Crouching’ were trying to cash in on? If so, I think that it’s a load of bollocks. The way the characters in this movie fly around only manage to make them look like ballerinas on acid. There
is far too much toe pointing and wafting across the rooftops for me to take any of these people seriously. God, at least Bruce Lee had enough sense to keep his feet firmly on the ground, even if the English soundtrack was a couple of seconds behind.
Now the main characters: the Governor’s daughter, who turns out to be a force to be reckoned with. One can almost compare her to Lara Croft, although I would hazard a guess and say that Lara carries off better than this young lady did. A spoilt, angry little girl at best, walking into a pub and kicking the hell out of every single innocent guy who just nipped in for a spot of lunch and quiet drink. I just wanted to give her a right good hiding.
Jade Fox (who is the only person whose name I can remember), the much sought-after criminal element (being a woman in her late fifties, I ask you) and with about as much personal grooming as a crow. Of course, it turns out that she is the mentor of the young Governor’s daughter (what the HELL is her name?) and why the two got together in the first place is beyond me. Something about pinching the manual and having to look at the pictures because she could not read…
The heroe/heroine: all I could understand about this pair was that there was some kind of romantic fire burning in the eternal breast, the man being the greatest warrior that ever lived, and the woman owning a martial arts school. He has a sword that he doesn’t want, gives away, and then when it gets stolen, he panics and goes out looking for it. (?)
There are undertones of great honour being at stake the whole way through the movie and the very confusing aspect of women not knowing their place. ( I was under the impression that Red China was a place where you were seen and not heard, never mind owning Martial Arts schools, kicking the crap out of well-known warriors and of course, dashing around in the moonlight and causing kung-fu havoc about the place.)
Are you confused yet? If you are, then you will know exactly the experience you will have when watching this movie. The names of the characters are the standard suffixes that sound like you need to go to the toilet, for a long time (plenty of Wees, Woos and Longs to be found in here, I can tell you.) yet as simple as they are you battle to remember anyone’s name, all the women and men look very similar so there is a good amount of confusion going on as to who is the bad guy, the Governor and the guy that takes out the garbage. I started to drive my sister around the bend by continually asking: ‘Now who is he? He looks just like the other guy!’ and ‘What is going on?!’ Needless to say she was none too impressed that I was finding this an arduous task.
I love martial arts, I do. I enjoy foreign films…really. I also enjoy some things that other people will say is load of rubbish, and yet I can still find some good in them. Entertainment, for one thing. However, I would advise anyone thinking about watching this movie to watch it either on rental video, DVD or whatever medium you can lay your hands on before buying it. I would rather watch re-runs of ‘Hollyoaks’ for the rest of my life rather than to attempt watching this again, and I am now entertaining thoughts of making my sister’s copy of this movie ‘disappear’, to save myself the dubious honour.
How helpful would this review be to a person making a buying decision? Rating guidelines
Production Year: 2003 - Martial Arts - Director: Paul Hunter - Original Language: English - Classification: 12 years and over - Starring: Chow Yun-Fat, Seann William Scott, James King, Karel Roden
Production Year: 1972 - Martial Arts - Director: Bruce Lee - Original Language: English\Cantonese\Chinese - Classification: 18 years and over - Starring: Bruce Lee, Nora Miao, Chuck Norris, Robert Wall, Jon T. Benn
Production Year: 1991 - Martial Arts - Director: Tsui Hark - Original Language: Cantonese - Classification: 18 years and over - Starring: Donnie Yen, Jet Lee, Rosamund Kwan, Yuen Biao, Mok Sui Chung
Production Year: 1981 - Martial Arts - Director: Kenji Misumi, Robert Houston - Original Language: English - Classification: 18 years and over - Starring: Kayo Matsuo, Minoru Ohki, Akiji Kobayashi, Shin Kishida, Masahiro Tomikawa, Tomisaburo Wakayama
Martial Arts - Original Language: English - Classification: 18 years and over - Starring: Bruce Lee, Sho Kosugi, James Ryan, Jim Kelly, Jimmy Wang Yu, Bolo Yeung, Christopher Lee
I wrote an opinion on this from a martial artists point of view, so you might understand it a bit better from that. I agree with the balletic film to it, and always think that opposing views are valuable. Although I don't think people should rush out and buy it, I do think that for the wider picture, i.e. the scenery, fight scenes and 'epicness' of the film are worth watching. Ta.
digitalburn 17.08.2001 05:20
I actually thought it was incredible in every way. People *can* fly (the enlightened mind is capable of anything - you merely have to realise that the real world is your perception of it, and that you have complete control over that perception), and the way they choose to portray it was very real. Also, the story (including the flying), has been around for thousands of years - it's The Matrix which is trying to cash in, if anything.
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