Wampyrii doesn't live here any more. Play nice y'all. :)
Wampyrii doesn't live here any more. Play nice y'all. :)
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It is always the most innocuous movies which have the most interesting histories. I was but a young lad when this movie was released and therefore much of the kerfuffle surrounding it went over my head - indeed, movies which had anything other than Disney stamped on them were probably of very little interest to me at the time. Some years later however, Conan The Barbarian is still a name which you will hear mentioned in movie conversations and still a movie you'll find lurking in video collections alongside some of the greats. Other than being one of Arnold Schwarzennegar's first movies I didn't see that there was anything else to be interested in, as a result, it was a long time before I finally succumbed and checked out what all the fuss was about.
It is odd that a movie set in mythological times would have a mythology surrounding it to rival even its own storyline. The original comic book stories from which this story came were written in the 1930s by Robert E. Howard, a man who himself built himself up from scrawny runt to bodybuilding colossus whilst writing them. Shortly after his 30th birthday, in 1936, he blew his brains out with a shotgun, but the popularity of his stories had already been established and would continue to enthral readers for many years after that tragic event.
His original stories appeared in the magazine Weird Tales, 18 of them reaching publication and several left unfinished or unsubmitted due to his untimely demise and were only really remembered by hardcore fans until two of those fans, Howard, L. Sprague De Camp, and Lin Carter, set about reviving his work in the mid 1960s. These two were to collect together Howard's work, complete the unfinished stories and write more of their own to fill in the gaps in Conan's life, the result being a set of 12 novels which has never been out of print since.
No doubt the popularity of these was buoyed by the massive interest in the fantasy genre as a whole kindled by the hugely popular Dungeons & Dragons franchise in the 70s and 80s which hasn't really waned since. A popularity which undoubtedly itself led to directors and movie studios looking around for something to bring to the silver screen to cash-in on the completist nature of fans and all those being sucked in by the magic of fantasy roleplaying.
50 years after the stories first appeared, the exploits of Conan were seen to be just the kind of material for this kind of movie. With a script co-written by Oliver Stone and set to be directed
by John Milius, it looked like a certain winner too but Milius departed to work on another project(Big Wednesday) before filming started and a bunch of other names came into the mix instead. Notably the likes of Ridley Scott and Ralph Bakshi were touted as being interested in taking up the helm, but having looked at the screenplay these too were to turn down the project. The whole thing was shelved until 1981 when Milius finished his surf opus and returned to pick up where he left off...
During that time the search for a lead character had been going on. The movie's producer Dino De Laurentiis had already met up with a certain Austrian body builder by the name of Arnold Schwarzeneggar when casting for the Flash Gordon movie a few years previously. At the time he had dismissed Arnold offhand after a screen test lasting just 1 minute 40 seconds, just long enough for the following exchange between the two:
"You have an accent! I cannot use you for Flash-a-Gordon! Flash-a-Grodon has no accent!"
to which Arnie replied
"I have an accent? I can't even understand you!"
before being shown the door.
Not the most auspicious of first meetings though, but when a character like Conan came along De Laurentiis immediately thought of Schwarzeneggar - well, he hardly had to sound like the all-American hero here now did he! Ironically, having cast Arnie in the lead role, De Laurentiis' initial fears were to prove well grounded when much of the big Austrian's speech was found to be unintelligible and cut from the movie and other parts dubbed so that audiences would at least be able to understand him - and irony upon irony, the actor they did end up casting for the role of Flash Gordon(Sam J Jones) had his entire part dubbed by another more macho sounding actor.
Meantime, suspecting a big cash-in to be made on spin-off products, the rights to make Conan action figures and suchlike were sold before the project had even really begun production. Mattel were to buy the rights to make Conan dolls for kids to re-enact the scenes from the movie. Of course what Mattel hadn't actually bargained for was that director Milius would actually take the project very seriously indeed, producing a blood soaked 18 rated kill-fest, which was hardly the kind of thing they could possibly market to children. Stuck then with hundreds of thousands of Arnie replicas Mattel had something of a problem. But not a company to be foiled by such a little problem(!) they did a little revamping and so was born the muscle bound do-gooder He-Man...
In 1981 filming for the movie began in earnest, most surprisingly of all being the way Milius took what would in any other director's hands have been a campy, tongue-in-cheek sword and sorcery caper and turning it instead into a very adult orientated serious endeavour. Rather than concentrating on just one of the Conan stories, Stone and Milius took elements from several, whilst managing to avoid taking too many liberties in combining these together. They were also to work solely from the author's original works, most notably taking elements from "The Thing in the Crypt", "The Elephant Tower", "Queen of the Black Coast", and "A Witch Shall Be Born.", which is to take nothing away from the sterling work put in by Sprague De Camp and Carter but instead pays homage to the original creator of Conan. The story they created is a simple one, played across three distinct acts but the execution is wonderful, if perhaps only because it is played so seriously for once.
The story takes place 12,000 years ago, in a land of myth, where men have bulging biceps, women have even more bulging bosoms, magic works, monsters roam the earth and the occasional god might be seen to stroll past occasionally as well. Such is the land into which Conan as born and which will prove to be harsh and lawless. We begin the story in Conan's village, with him as a young boy(played by George Sanz) learning the ways of his peasant people. Its not long before the evil wizard Thusla Doom(James Earl Jones) has ordered an attack on his village lead by his chief henchman Rexor(Ben Davidson) and Conan is clapped in chains and sold to slave traders. His mother and father are killed and Conan is set for a life in irons.
Conan is worked hard as a slave and grows to enormous physical proportions because of it. His size and strength doesn't go unnoticed either and he is soon purchased to train as a gladiator where he both thrills the crowds and terrorises the arena with his awesome strength and skills. Pretty soon though his owner realises that to keep a man like this in chains is somewhat wishful thinking and its only a matter of time before he'll break out of them and cut a bloody swathe to freedom. Fearing this event he releases Conan into the big wide world...and its not long before the big city becomes too much of a draw to be ignored. Here he meets up with the queen of the thieves and after various exploits begins to get an itchy palms...the only thing which will sate the itching being the satisfaction of crushing a certain wizard's neck between them...
I'm sure it doesn't take a genius to imagine that this is a very violent and bloody sword and sorcery type romp. Where Milius could have opted for campness, he has instead chosen the much more fulfilling path of raw power and action with Arnie crushing more than a few skulls on his way to the inevitable showdown with the wizard who sold him into slavery and slaughtered his village. Brutal and bloody it may be, but it is not without other charms. The way in which the fantasy landscape has been created is simple perfect. Naturally, its no Lord Of The Rings, we are talking a vastly smaller budget here, but the landscapes and costumes are still wonderfully realised and stand as the perfect canvas for Arnie to paint with bloody hues. Perfect too is the musical score, which apparently was a bone of contention between director and producer. The resulting choral/orchestral accompaniment which is so perfectly utilised to accent the grand, larger-than-life nature of the proceedings is the result of Milius pulling rank - otherwise we'd be forced to sit through De Laurntiis' preference for a Euro-pop soundtrack...hmmm. As it stands, the music is stirring and rousing, adding much to set the scene and drag the viewer into the pure fantasy of it all.
One of Conan's undeniable weak points would of course be the acting. No one could ever even begin to deny that Arnie isn't the best actor in the world, not even today after over 20 years in the business and back then he was barely intelligible when he spoke either! Strangely though, he is pretty well utilised here, Milius not asking him to do anything outside of his range - just to flex his muscles, look good when crushing skulls and grunt a few lines of dialogue(re-dubbed later so we could actually understand them). Interestingly, Schwarzeneggar was told to model his part on that of Charlton Heston in the likes of The Greatest Story Ever Told where he plays John The Baptist...I'll leave it to you to decide whether he managed this larger than life screen presence. This would prove to be his breakthrough movie, 2 years later of course would see him starring in the blockbuster movie The Terminator, whereas previous to this he was relegated to cheesy low budget tripe.
Other actors of real note are Max Von Sydow(looking rather oddly at home here) and James Earl Jones who plays his part well, but just doesn't seem quite evil enough for the part he has been given. Something more of an over-the-top performance would have worked a little better in my eyes. The rest of the cast are quite uniformly bad, made up of those there for comic relief and other people known for things other than their acting abilities such as Sandahl Bergman, who plays queen of the thieves and Conan's lover, undeniably chosen for looking good in(and out) of tight leather. Of course, thats not such a bad thing...
Ultimately as well, some people may have a harm time dealing with what are quite dated looking special effects in some cases. As I said, the scenery looks good, the costumes authentic and the fantasy landscape is well presented but when it comes down to the 'money shots' its beginning to look rather lacking. Conan never had a huge budget in the first place and certain scenes probably weren't fooling anyone even back in the time it was released. I defy anyone not to be looking for the 'Made In Taiwan' tag during the fight scene with the giant snake for instance! Its certainly no Lord Of The Rings and for those who have been spoiled by the $300 million budgets of such movies his may require a suspension of disbelief far in excess of what they are capable of. If you are one of those people then think about knocking one or two stars off the final rating.
When it was released Conan The Barbarian was one of the most eagerly awaited movies of its time. The reasons for its success are no doubt much to do with the era it was released in and that those which have followed in the fantasy vein haven't really lived up to their billing. For me, this is because most directors just can't seem to steer away from the easy road to campness, or the monetary lure that reaching the lower age restrictions brings when making a fantasy movie. Conan The Barbarian is undoubtedly a movie made for adults not children and the violent, bloody fantasy world it depicts as opposed to one populated by cute beasties straight out of Jim Henson's puppet workshop may not therefore be to everyone's taste. If you can deal with the blood and the somewhat less than special effects then it still stands as one of the best fantasy movies ever made. Definitely worth checking out anyway, although its sequels are nothing much to shout about unfortunately.
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Gildor_Inglorion 09.09.2005 (31.05.2006)
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