Commando DVD > Reviews > "Leave anything for us?" Just bodies.

Author's product rating:   

Did you enjoy it?	Loved it
Story	Very ordinary
Characters / Performances	Satisfactory
Special Effects	Good
Soundtrack	Average

Advantages:	Ah - nuld laying waste to armies, without incurring serious injury
Disadvantages:	One of the most camp villians ever .  .  . or is that an advantage?

Recommend to potential buyers:

yes

Full review

If ever an action movie could be marked down as a guilty pleasure perhaps this is the one that truly deserves such an honor. Action movies seldom surpass the bodycount nor the amount of time honored one liners delivered during the demise of the heroes enemies. Commando needs a plot like a firecracker needs to be silent to work but I'll explain it nonetheless.

John Matrix ( Schwarzenegger ) a retired super soldier, who's seemingly put his days of mass slaughter for his countries freedom behind him, lives in peace with his young daughter Jenny. Unfortuntely a patriots job is never done when scum lurks at every corner. A bunch of villians capture the one thing keeping him from returning to his former life of violence. Demanding he place Arius ( an evil dictator ) as ruler of a small Caribbean island in place of the democratic leader he put there. The irony is apparently not lost on Matrix who decides immediately to destroy anyone he deems responsible. Of course this is after he jumps from a 747 plane....while its moving. Once you've accepted the possiblity of a miracle preventing his legs from shooting into his ribcage you'd best not concern yourself with reality for the duration of this film.

This film doesn't concern itself with the restrictions of sound acting and strong supporting roles. Arnies violent vengance is assumed to be enough to distract one from such annoyances. Strangely like some sort of dark magic, commando manages to remain a classic for its action scenes and our memories forgive every sin it commits even relishing them. Once Matrix starts the pain, it never stops. Eventually an entire army of nameless foes fall prey to thousands of rounds of ammunition. Does "Ah-nuld" get a scratch, does he hell. Everything around him gets blown to hell, including countless innocent flower pots and vases. Its wrong to love such things but i know im not alone in believing theres something so magnificent in the knowledge that no matter what they throw at him they'll fail.

The supporting cast begins with Rae Dawn Chong as the love interest failing to leave any impact despite the fact she deems it wise to free matrix from a police van with an anti-tank missle. Having clearly not thought of the likely what if i blow them to hell option, she somehow succeeds. Summing up the element we've all come to know as "so bad, its good." But the true supporting cast member and the man who nearly steals the show for all the wrong reasons is none other than "let off some steam, Bennet" himself.

Bennet (Vernon Wells) is so overtly camp that he makes Boy Georges cringeworthy cameo on the A-team as "Cowboy George" mildly acceptable. Anything written about the character makes me laugh without fail, a few reviews on ciao! made me buckle over. I'm still not sure why the hell he's after Matrix but clearly this nutter hasn't thought it through. Most will remember him as the missing member of the village people but i will remember him for believing he could actually beat Arnie. Despite the overwhelming evidence against such a ridiculous belief.

The point of commando is to put Schwarzenegger in as many action situations as humanly possible. To have him perform feats of superhuman strength, defeat countless foes and all within a time limit. Perhaps the fact that each new scenario brings with a quip so well timed it blinds us to the fact that action is the only thing holding this thing together. Why is it so popular without the elements of sound plot, reality and decent acting? Its quite simple. Arnie, machine guns, evil terriorists and camp villians can somehow pull a masterpiece out of the depths of film despair.

Despite the cliches, despite the bad acting, despite Bennet, Commando is still regarded not just as a decent action movie but an iconic one.

He'll hit us with all the one-liners he had in his arsenal and we could do nothing but stand and applaud when the killing finally stops. Nonsensical one man army flick with Arnold Schwarzenegger, we are powerless not to love every second.

DVD Extras:

Interactive menus.
Scene access.
Original theatrical trailer.

It was brought to my attention that i hadn't included any of the special features on this dvd release. This was largely due to the fact that i didn't and still dont believe them to be "extras." In this day and age i regard the above as standard in any dvd. Still the majority of movies this old dont feature any real extras beyond a trailer at all.