Glutton for punishment, that’s me. Not in a “tie me up tie me down” kinda way, but I like to put myself through things I don’t think I’d enjoy – just to see if I would. So, in my time I’ve had piercings (they’re crap), watched The Naked Chef (irritating) and endured some things probably too “difficult” for your delicate sensibilities, dear reader. >;)

***THE PLOT***
Opening on a field, we see a young jug-eared kid wander up to a fire, which is burning red, orange – and green. Rather than run away screaming “chemical fire!” he stares at it a bit, and is promptly possessed by a bad special effect. One year later (for no apparent reason) the kid goes to a house and kills a man with magical powers.

Finding themselves stranded in the town, the kids get all shirty as Alison decides to nose around. Her brother went missing with talk of the same mysterious row-walker you see. Her desire to return her brother to normality is not met with party hats and cake by the troublesome youth, and soon the ‘outsiders’ find themselves in a whole heap of crop.
* * * * *

If you’ve seen any of the preceding CotC flicks, you’ll know that they get too serious for their own good (okay, there was the giant monster in one of them, but forget that!). Some bright spark handed the reins over to the helmer of many a fun/horror picture, Ethan Wiley. The man who brought you Lake Placid and House 2 (crap!) is going through something of a renaissance recently, and this may well have been the feature that turned his fortune back on its feet.

The whole Corn mythology seems to be based around a rather loose set of ideas anyway – kids who do evil for a nameless demonic force. In the last episode, there was no mention of “He Who Walks Behind The Rows”, a demonic harvest god of some sort. The initial concept in the Stephen King short story was that of children sacrificing adults so that the corn crops would be fruitful. Now “He Who Walks…” is nothing more than a background (ha ha) idea – and here they mention him ad infinitum as if to make up for not doing so in Part IV. In fact, I counted – they mention him/it 13 times. Symbolic? Eh, probably. Let’s chalk it up to bad scripting!

Also, Wylie lets the direction slip into “experimental” territory, which does stamp a *little* character on the work but seems largely show-off like and not really essential to the plot. We get side-on camera shots of cars zooming by, and the laughable “rocking-chair-cam”. All these flashy camera moves are no substitute for character development and sensible plotting though – for example, the teenagers turn up in an empty house that just happens to be fully stocked with food and beer! Yeah, okay…and then there’s the whole deal with turning up in a town where the lead character’s estranged brother lives. Convenient, no?

The denouement is especially intelligence-stabbing, with an extremely lame end “twist” that has nothing to do with the next instalment, which I plan on NOT watching as soon as possible. If you’re going to make a franchise, at least have them link to each other in some way – each CotC flick is a separate entity and whilst this may not be as bad as some of ‘em, it really is a “oh sod it, there’s nothing else on, I’ll watch it” movie. If it’s the last one in the video store, leave it, unless cheese is high on your renting agenda. In which case, brain off & enjoy.

Stacy Galina – Alison
Alexis Arquette – Greg
Adam Wylie – Ezekiel
Eva Mendes – Kir
Fred Williamson – Sheriff
David Carradine - Luke