For Feminists, the Elderly and Bandwagon Jumpers

"A flash of leg, the taste of gin, the smell of corruption, and things that go bump in the night. Anywhere else it would be a crime, but this is Chicago."

Most people know by now that Chicago is based on the hit Broadway musical, but if that is the extent of your knowledge, here's a quick rundown of it (cheers to the official musical web site for the info). It started back in 1996 (May 2, to be precise) as a concert. Once its success was more assured, preview performances of the musical began on October 29, with the opening coming on November 14. The rest, up until this film, is history. The musical has won numerous awards, and although I am not a huge fan of theatre and musicals, I wouldn't mind seeing it.

The plot is basic and straightforward, with no clever twists or tricks. Please forward on a few paragraphs if you don’t want to find out the plot and you want to go and see the film uninitiated. The first character introduced is Velma Kelly, who has just shot the other half of her sister act when she caught her husband with her sister. Cue a song (All That Jazz) while it shows Roxie Hart (a wannabe jazz act) murdering Fred Casely after finding out that he didn’t have any contact at the nightclub to get her an act and that he was using her for, er, pleasure.

She is taken away and put in Cook County Jail, with Velma and other murderesses (cue yet another song - Cell Block Tango) and we get introduced to the matron of the jail who has a policy of helping out the residents of the jail in return for 'monetary contributions' (cash). Cue 'When You're Good To Momma'.

Now that all the main characters are introduced, the story continues along, showing the two ladies desperate fight for media attention, and obviously trying to get acquitted as well. I won't reveal how the rest of the story plays out, because that would take another 500 words and you would then know the full plot, subsequently ruling out any real need to go and see the film, which I don't recommend, so maybe I should do it anyway (still with me?!)

The main cast:

Although Renee Zellweger became every woman's favourite actress after Bridget bloody Jones, I have never rated her too highly. However, she is easily the best in this film. One thing that I noticed for both CZJ and Renee (look at me with the catchy names, bet I could get a job with 'OK' or 'Hello', or maybe 'Goodbye' or 'F*** Off' - I'm not a great fan of celeb gossip magazines, I don't know whether that shows…) is that they had both lost a lot of weight and had bulging muscles. That sort of thing comes from doing a lot of dancing I know, but jeez, Renee looks like Arnie. Which was ironic, because there was a trailer for Terminator 3 before the film started, maybe she should have auditioned for the lead. The weight loss does not suit her in the slightest (I don't like skinny women anyway) because it makes her face/head look puffed up and monkey-like.

The most ironic thing about this film is that it stars Catherine Zeta-Jones and the main theme is about a desperate media hogging, manipulative girl with fairly little talent. What a perfect piece of casting! The real life reflections are glaring, someone in the casting department must have a wicked sense of humour.