Charlie's Angels DVD > Reviews > Worst Film Ever. Maybe.

Author's product rating:   

Did you enjoy it?	Hated it
Story	Very weak
Characters / Performances	Unmemorable
Special Effects	Good
Soundtrack	Good

Advantages:	see op
Disadvantages:	see op

Recommend to potential buyers:

no

Full review

Thank God for Skittles.

Picture this: Bunch of surprisingly sober 14 year olds, both sexes, who are participating in a 'stay up all night' style party. The first time they had done a party like this, it had rocked - because it was hosted by yours truly. This one was going fairly well up until about 10, when it was too dark to play Twister outside anymore, and all 14 of us straggled into the house to watch the movies that had been obtained for the night. Silence Of The Lambs was one choice…4 Weedings and a Funeral was another…and Charlies Angels was the last. A Indian pirate copy of The Matrix was hovering around as well.

No, I don't mean that Neo and Trinity were replaced with Indian Pirates - it was a copy of The Matrix taped from Indian television. Although pirates running up walls would admittedly rock.

So, anyway, being the clever people we are, we chose Charlies Angels to watch first. Its sheer awfulness killed the party. I think I might actually have been in physical pain if I hadn't discovered an enormous packet of skittles halfway through, and spent the remaining 45 minutes throwing them at people. It is that bad a film.

Firstly - plot is non existent. There is something about tracking down a kidnapped billionaire, and something about voice encryption, and something about passwords…but the plot could more accurately be described as '3 fit women do a bit of kung fu, lots of stuff blows up, the end'. Admittedly, this being a popcorn action movie, plot is not that important (see: Die Hard),, but it would have been nice to see something more original (see: The Matrix).

Characterization - Drew Barrymore - fit bird that used to be a punk. Cameron Diaz - fit bird that is a bit dippy. Lucy Liu - fit bird that wears leather and likes cooking. Next.

The soundtrack, despite starring Destinys Child, is fair enough. The Prodigy make a welcome entrance in some of the fight scenes, and both Korn and Apollo 440. All of the music is used in the right places, no real complaints here. For once.

Now, the most important aspect of any action movie - action. Since the amazing SFX fest that is The Matrix, action movies have changed. The audience has twigged on to the fact that anyone can blow something up if they have a large enough budget - take note Mr. Bruckheimer. People now want things exploding in slow motion…they want heroes literally dodging bullets…they want kung-fu fight scenes.

If I wanted an example to prove my point there, I'd choose Charlies Angels. The 3 leading ladies don't just punch someone in the face - they jump up in the air and kick them instead. However, the choreography is nowhere near the standard of The Matrix - yeah, it may be kung fu, but it's crap kung fu. The alley scene is the worst for this.

While I'm talking about The Matrix, I'll just point out that there is even a slow motion bullet scene in Charlies Angels, identical to The Matrix. Only in Charlies Angels it doesn't work quite as well - it isn't new, it's just copying.

Terrible, terrible film.

Now, the DVD extras. Don't ask me why I have the DVD, because it's an even more boring and pointless reason than the thing I did for an intro. They are, actually, very good extras - the kind of extras you wish were not wasted on such a bad film. If, say, American History X had these features on it, I would be a happy man.

You have your Directors Commentary, which is dull but passable. Deleted scenes with reasons why they were cut out, too many featurettes to watch, Outtakes, Music Videos, and Filmographies…and trailers.

Ah yes, trailers. The bane of my existence.

Overall - shoddy movie, don't touch it with a long wooden pole.