Some days I return home from the office very tired, open the little panel at the back of my head, remove my brain, place it into a thimble next to me, and put an action film on to give my eyes something to do.
Being a fan of martial arts films and comic books since childhood, this film that combines both, seemed the ideal fare for me.
BULLET PROOF MONK (2003) stars established actors Chow Yun-Fat (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and The Replacement Killers) and Sean William Scott (Evolution, and American Pie) and actress Jaime King (Blow, and Slackers), and marks the film directorial debut of Paul Hunter, who has previous worked on music videos and TV ads. Supporting him as producer is John Woo (Face/Off, and Broken Arrow).
The film begins 60 years ago during WWII at a monastery in Tibet where Chow Yun-Fat playing the role of the "monk with no name" completes his training of marshal arts and its related philosophy and usurps his teacher as protector of an ancient scroll, that if read brings the reader immortality and the power to shape the world to how they would like it. Almost immediately some nasty Nazi soldiers arrive led by an officer called Strucker (Karl Roden - a German
actor you may have seen briefly in Blade II) and slaughter all the monks so he can get the scroll and make the world whiter than white. With his training now complete Chow has become the "bullet proof monk with no name" and after Strucker gains the upper hand but not the scroll, Chow falls from sight off the edge of the mountain.
Now we jump to present day and 60 years later and are introduced to Kar (SW Scott) a skilled pick-pocket who also works at a Chinese movie theatre owned by an elderly Japanese man, that specialises in showing old martial arts films and gives Kar the chance to teach himself a few kung-fu moves as well.
In the present day the ageless monk is still being pursued by an aged Strucker and his granddaughter Nina (Victoria Smurfit - who you may recognise from British TV and who looks and acts like anything but a Smurf) and their requisite group of hired thugs in dark glasses. Kar is being pursued by the police at the same time for his light-fingeredness and his and the monk’s path collide, literally. There is an almost instant affection between the two, with Chow playing the enigmatic but annoying sudden intrusion on Kar's life quite competently.
After this introduction Kar then runs into an underground gang leader called Mr Funktastic and immediately falls for his moll "Bad girl" (King) who it later turns out leads a double life as Jade the privileged daughter of a Russian mafia boss, and as a member of Mr F's street gang. Jade has an interest in Human Rights and this leads her into conflict with Nina who runs the cities exhibition but focuses purely on the negative side of humanity rather than promoting the positive.
So now the cast are all assembled and very neatly cross-associated what happens next? Well the whole film, and I mean the whole film is then dedicated to the pursuance of the mystical scroll as it changes from the hands of the goodies to the baddies and back again. During this we get a lot of running, fighting and deep and meaningful discussions about hotdog rolls and philosophy. Kar and Jade gradually fall in love and the monk with no name wanders around smiling benignly. The action is fast-paced, there is rarely a scene without some sort of fighting in it, but the film relies heavily on tired wirework in all the fight scenes making them a lot less believable. Kar and Jade look like they would have trouble kicking their way out of a wet paper bag, but here they are running up walls and flying through the air like Kung-Fu masters, and anytime the action looks like it may have been too difficult for them the director just cuts to another angle two moves on (which is very poor). There is some humour, but it is more the type to make you smile rather than laugh out loud and this is a real waste of Scott's great comedy timing (see Evolution for this), and he seems to know this and gives quite a lack-lustre performance as a result. Eventually you start to feel that the only thing that is keeping Chow smiling is the big pay-cheque they must have given him to appear in this. The story ends up in predictable good guys save the day ending with a twist even weaker than the one in Sixth Sense.
The plot started off quite promisingly in an Indiana Jones type way but then quickly became repetitive, and the performances which also started off quite well unfortunately never developed into anything more and eventually appeared one dimensional and lack-lustre. Their is action galore but very little gore or swearing making it suitable for 12 yr olds (as per its certification) but the wire-work is over done when it could have been finely balanced, as in Crouching Tiger or Kill Bill, with genuine martial art skills and so it just became completely implausible. The directors’ previous experience in TV ads and MTV are too apparent and he brings nothing new to the arena and this is where old hand John Woo should really have offered him more guidance. Comic book adaptations can work very well as in Blade or X-Men, but this film seems to only ever strive for mediocrity and it even falls short of that.
I haven't mentioned a musical score or soundtrack because there simply wasn't one noticeable.
If it comes on TV watch it once if you like martial art escapism, but don't make the mistake I did and buy it without seeing it, because then it is not only 99 minutes of your life you wont get back, but also the best part of a tenner!
How helpful would this review be to a person making a buying decision? Rating guidelines
Martial Arts - Director: Prachya Pinkaew - Original Language: English\Vietnamese\Thai\Mandarin - Classification: 18 years and over - Starring: Tony Jaa, Bongkoj Khongmalai, Petchtai Wongkamlao
Production Year: 1991 - Martial Arts - Director: Tsui Hark - Original Language: Cantonese - Classification: 18 years and over - Starring: Donnie Yen, Jet Lee, Rosamund Kwan, Yuen Biao, Mok Sui Chung
Martial Arts - Original Language: English - Classification: 18 years and over - Starring: Bruce Lee, Sho Kosugi, James Ryan, Jim Kelly, Jimmy Wang Yu, Bolo Yeung, Christopher Lee
The tremendous charisma of Chow Yun-Fat anchors this entertaining comic-book ... more
romp.Bulletproof Monkcentres around a monk with no name (Chow) dedicated to protecting a sacred scroll that can give world-manipulating power to anyone who reads it. A hidden ...
Postage & Packaging: £1.21 Availability: Usually dispatched within 1-2 business days...
He has no game. He protects a powerful secret. Now to fulfil an ancient prophecy, he has ... more
found the one who's supposed to take his place-and it's the most unlikely candidate of all.In this dazzling action adventure, the Monk (Chow yun-Fat, Crouching Tig...
The tremendous charisma of Chow Yun-Fat anchors this entertaining comic-book ... more
romp.Bulletproof Monkcentres around a monk with no name (Chow) dedicated to protecting a sacred scroll that can give world-manipulating power to anyone who reads it. A hidden ...
Postage & Packaging: Free! Availability: Usually dispatched within 24 hours...
Bulletproof Monk' begins in the 1940s as a Tibetan Buddhist monk charged with protecting ... more
an ancient scroll passes on his legacy to his pupil. As the student receives the power to safeguard the scroll his aging process is halted and he gives up his ...
Postage & Packaging: £0.00 Availability: 3-5 working days
Advantages: a good family film, fighting a few jokes but good entertainment, Disadvantages: more character interaction especially the main characters, maonk jade kar may be teaching tricks.
![Bulletproof Monk [DVD] [2003]](http://picnicb.ciao.com/uk/78519031.jpg "Bulletproof Monk [DVD] [2003]")
Apr 30th, 2004
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