Birds Of Prey (DVD)

...of humans being attacked by birds that are otherwise normally very docile. It seems that bird-kind has had enough of being pushed around and now it is the humans who are in their way, as opposed to the other way round.

The similarities to Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds are evident - conceptually, Birds of Prey is roughly about the same idea. Sadly, in the hands of a far less visionary director, and with a far smaller budget, Birds of ...
...Heel and saves the day. Birds of Prey plays roughly to this formula. The setting is slightly unusual - the action takes place in Spain rather than the USA - but otherwise things play to a tried and tested formula. Events start out on a small scale and then quickly escalate until they've suddenly got out of hand. There are those who disbelieve, rapidly persuaded otherwise when they see the problem with their own hands. And then there are the innocents; ... more

Let's be fair. Not everyone has millions of pounds or dollars to spend on making a movie. For every big budget blockbuster that graces the planet, there are many, many movies that could only ever aspire to being so grand. Many of these films are actually quite endearing in their own way and in some cases a new genre has formed in its own right. Welcome to the wonderful world of the horror "B-movie". Originally, of course, B-movies were made and played to accompany the main feature. Nowadays, B-movies are normally cheap, low-tech affairs that need to rely on something other than big bucks to endear themselves to an audience.

When a farmer is seemingly attacked by his own chickens, very few people take any interest apart from an American reporter and her boyfriend, working in Spain. Sent out to interview the victim about his near miss, the pairs thinks that they have pretty much reached journalistic rock bottom, although they are themselves surprised and puzzled when an otherwise very gentle songbird is released and at once attacks the frightened old man. They soon start to learn of more attacks. A wealthy business man loses his left eye after an attack from a hawk and more and more reports start to come in of humans being attacked by birds that are otherwise normally very docile. It seems that bird-kind has had enough of being pushed around and now it is the humans who are in their way, as opposed to the other way round.

The similarities to Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds are evident - conceptually, Birds of Prey is roughly about the same idea. Sadly, in the hands of a far less visionary director, and with a far smaller budget, Birds of Prey is unlikely to raise anything more than a flap or flutter.

B-horror movies are normally rather like a blend of horror and disaster movies. The horror often comes from plagues of certain animals, gigantic / over-sized creatures or horribly mutated species of otherwise familiar insects. In every case, these infestations will normally raise their ugly heads over a small town or village, preying on the unfortunate inhabitants before a hero or heroine finds the creatures' Achilles Heel and saves the day. Birds of Prey plays roughly to this formula. The setting is slightly unusual - the action takes place in Spain rather than the USA - but otherwise things play to a tried and tested formula. Events start out on a small scale and then quickly escalate until they've suddenly got out of hand. There are those who disbelieve, rapidly persuaded otherwise when they see the problem with their own hands. And then there are the innocents; those regular people caught up in perilous situations when they were otherwise going about their own business. Yes indeed, Birds of Prey has all the classic ingredients of a fairly watchable B-movie. So where does it all go wrong?

For me, the film is really rather doomed from the outset in that the premise is simply neither scary nor perilous. It has never ceased to amaze me that you see girls / women in the streets who literally shriek and scream when pigeons flap past them. What is there about these docile birds that could possibly pose a threat? I think I must be missing something because in Birds of Prey, the director relies almost entirely on the idea that birds can be frightening. The trouble is - THEY'RE NOT! The fear factor doesn't escalate with numbers - it doesn't matter how big the flock is, they still don't pose a threat. It's also really rather difficult to suggest that these creatures are life threatening in any shape or form given that they so clearly do not want to kill the cast, regardless of how attempts are made to portray just this.

No special effects or camera trickery here. In Birds of Prey, the birds are real, so the director has his work cut out convinving us that there's a threat here. Armfuls of pigeons are thrown over cast members, dead / stuffed birds are arranged around people's necks in a vain attempt to make it look as though they are on the attack. Flesh is pecked and pulled and people are seemingly ripped apart by these vicious, bloodthirsty, unstoppable… pigeons. Hmm. Try as they might, any attempt by the cast and crew to make these birds look dangerous is likely to be in vain because at they end of the day, THEY AREN'T! Let me give you a tip - if a bird flaps round your face, flap back. If dozens of pigeons start trying to peck your eyes out, cover them up. If nasty-looking eagles are trying to attack you on your hang glide, try avoiding them. Do something. Do anything. Just don't do what the cast members in Birds of Prey do and run around, screaming and flapping as (clearly) harmless birds seem to attack them. I can only liken the effect as being the same as if a film was made about killer slugs that chased people at their normal walking pace. You'd be able to outrun them, wouldn't you?

Apparently not. You see, in Birds of Prey, people's eyes are gouged out in one foul swoop (pardon the pun). Fully grown men are pecked to death by small flocks of turtle doves. Buses, cars and planes are somehow brought to an abrupt stop by co-ordinated low flying pigeon attacks. Yes - that's right. Not only are these harmless pigeons intent on pecking your eyes out, they're also somehow able to smash through reinforced glass windows and windscreens to start pecking at unprotected humans behind.

It's all silly, silly, silly and whilst everyone is prepared to suspend belief to a certain extent, there comes a point when the belief is not so much suspended as expelled - and at this point you know it's time to give up.

In some ways, it's a bit of a shame because the basic premise aside, other elements to the film are less cringeworthy. The overall tone of the piece feels a little like The Omen, given only that the European setting has a certain quality to it and that like Damien's demonic possession, the birds in Birds of Prey seem to be acting on behalf of darker forces. (They are, in fact, responding to man's continued destruction of their habitats.) The bird bits are not badly put together, given largely that the makers have opted for real birds or real bird footage. Our two leads work quite well, too. The reporter / cameraman relationship creates some real chemistry and both actors are young, fit and sassy - an essential pre-requisite for when they get an inevitable opportunity to strip off. The script is characteristically corny and misplaced, but then in a film like this, you'd really expect nothing less, so you can be forgiving. Even the ridiculous slow-motion death scenes feel at home in a movie of this nature.

No, it's not the humans of this piece who are the real turkeys in Birds of Prey - on that score, the birds easily steal the show.

There's enough blood and gore to warrant a distributor-pleasing 18 certificate here, but there's nothing else scary or disturbing going on. Such is the silliness of the whole thing that any charm or appeal is rapidly eviscerated, leaving very little behind to entertain. I was just about able to sit through Birds of Prey, if only to see what happened at the end, but even the (anti) climax is silly, rushed and unfulfilling. Where comparisons to a classic film like The Birds are so likely, Birds of Prey was pretty much always going to fail, but in reality it comes out even worse than you would probably guess.

Not recommended

(Footnote: I was unable to find this film on the Internet Movie Database. I'm pretty sure I spotted Lukas Ridgeston (porn star) as a child in this movie and I'd love to know for sure. Any ideas?)
 

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