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TITLE: Back to School

RATING: ****½

CAST: Rodney Dangerfield, Sally Kellerman, Ned Beatty, Burt Young, Keith Gordon, Robert Downey, Jr. William Zabka, Paxton Whitehead, Danny Elfman, Robert Picardo, M. Emmett Walsh, Adrienne Barbeau, Sam Kinison, Severn Darden, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Edie McClurg, Jason Hervey.

DIRECTOR: Alan Metter

STUDIO: Orion Pictures

RUNNING TIME: 96 min.

RATED: PG-13 (US) & 12A (UK); for nudity and some language.

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INTRODUCTION
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“Hi there! Are you a large person? Pleasantly plump? A little on the hefty side perhaps? Well, let’s face it --- are you fat? When you go jogging, do you leave potholes? When you make love, do you have to give directions? At the zoo, do the elephants throw you peanuts? Do you look at a menu and say ‘ok’??? Well, now you can eat all you want; because at Thorton Melon’s TALL AND FAT stores we have got you covered. We have suits and sport coats in all the larger sizes. Yes, we have miles and miles and miles of fabric. So, take it from me, Thornton Melon, if you want to look thin, you hang out with fat people!!!” --- Rodney Dangerfield

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THE MAN WHO GOT NO RESPECT
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We have lost so many legends this year it’s almost hard to keep count now. Back in June, we lost the Godfather himself, Marlon Brando. Several months later, we then said farewell to Fay Wray, who played the Screaming Beauty in 1933’s KING KONG. Then just yesterday, we lost one of my personal favorites, Mr. Christopher Reeve. All three of these screen legends will never be forgotten, though there is another I will never forget. Last week, comedian Rodney Dangerfield, who always complained, “He never got any respect,” passed away at age 82.

Best known for his hilarious zingers (or one-liners, if you will), Rodney came in rather late in the comic game. Dropping out of high school---and never attending college---Dangerfield tried in his 20s to break into show business but failed. When he turned 28, he gave up his dreams of being a comedian and become a paint salesman; it wouldn’t be until after he turned 40 that he realized that he could make more than a few people laugh. “I thought show business was crazy,” he had said, “It took me twelve years to realize that I was crazy.” His 1960s standup routines made him more well known, and then he became a staple in the early days of “Saturday Night Live.” In 1980, he then got his first film role in CADDYSHACK---and literally stole the film away from favorites Chevy Chase, Ted Knight, and Bill Murray. However, it wasn’t until 1986 when he made the film that (I think), he will always be remembered for.

BACK TO SCHOOL is the story of Thornton Melon, an uneducated and obnoxious millionaire who runs a chain of “Tall and Fat” stores. His son Jason attends Great Lakes University, though his he isn’t having the time of his life there. Ridiculed by jocks, and being ignored by most people other than his roommate Derek, he becomes the towel boy for the diving team, and then starts to consider leaving school. As for Thornton, he decides to leave his wife after a disastrous five-year marriage (she kept on sleeping around behind his back), and decides to pack up to see his son for a weekend. When Thornton discovers his son’s unhappiness, he decides to encourage his son to continue school---by enrolling himself as a Freshman!!!

Despite never attending college, he manages to snag his way in by donating a large sum of money to build a new Business school for the university, which upsets his new Business professor, a snobby dud named Dr. Phillip Barbay. Things get even more complicated when Thornton falls in love with his English professor Dr. Turner---who is currently dating Dr. Barbay. There is even more to the story, believe it or not, but I don’t want to dare spoil the fun for everyone. This film has enough Dangerfield zingers to put in ten movies, though what really stands out even more is how irresistible his character is. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that he is aided and abetted by a strong supporting cast.

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A CAST AND CREW WITH CLASS
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In the role of sexy Dr. Turner, we have the one and only original “Hot Lips” Hoolihan, Sally Kellerman. Keith Gordon (CHRISTINE) is immensely likeable as Jason, and we also have a very young (and very funny) Robert Downey Jr. in the role of Derek. However, we also have old favorites Ned Beatty (SUPERMAN, NETWORK) as the Dean of Admissions, Burt Young (the ROCKY films) in a delightfully low-key role as Thornton’s tough chauffeur, M. Emmett Walsh as the diving coach, Adrienne Barbeau (SWAMP THING, CREEPSHOW) as Thorton’s ex-wife, and William Zabka (THE KARATE KID) as a brain-dead jock who is dating the girl of Jason’s dreams, Valerie Desmond---played beautifully by model Terry Farrell, who would go on to play Lt. Dax on the series “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.”

There are scenes that many people remember in his hilarious comedy, such as when Thornton finally rebels against his wife, or when he turns Dr. Barbay’s students against him by knowing more about the business world, since he has lived it for over 40 years. However, my personal favorite is when we are introduced to Thorton’s Contemporary American History teacher, Prof. Turgeson, played by the late comedian Sam Kinison. Let’s just say that the Professor’s teaching methods are more than a little unorthodox, and when Kinison goes head-to-head with Dangerfield, it truly is a priceless moment in movie history.

As you already know, Dangerfield himself never went back to school, though he was determined to make the grade with this comedy; in fact, he demanded six rewrites of the screenplay before he would step in front of the camera and do what he always did best. While Dangerfield only got co-story credit, it was obvious that he added many of his own zingers to the script, which was given credit to four writers, including co-executive producer Harold Ramis, who had a great role in GHOSTBUSTERS and directed NATIONAL LAMPOON’S VACATION. Rodney had reunited with director Alan Metter, who had made his star’s “Rappin’ Rodney,” music video a year before---and garnered a Grammy nomination for the comedian.

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BECOMING THE BIG MAN ON CAMPUS
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Even those who didn’t care for Dangerfield and his brand of humor before BACK TO SCHOOL was released fell in love with him here. The film would become the unexpected box-office smash of the summer of 1986---and eventually became the first comedy in motion picture history to gross over $100 million!!! Unfortunately, Dangerfield would make in the years to come films that were mediocre at best, though his role as Lucifer in the Adam Sandler comedy LITTLE NICKY was a special treat. Watching BACK TO SCHOOL today after many years made me laugh uncontrollably once again; though I must admit that the sequence where Dangerfield starting singing and dancing to the classic hit song “Twist and Shout,” at a local campus hangout made me laugh and cry at the same time.

To many fans around the world (including me), Rodney Dangerfield will truly be missed. I think BACK TO SCHOOL will become a new comedy classic in years to come, though I’m somewhat disappointed that a remake will be coming out in the summer of 2006 starring Cedric The Entertainer. Many fans have already shown their disdain; one on www.imdb.com said “Out of respect (and I mean RESPECT) for the late, great Rodney Dangerfield, they should cancel the making of the of the remake.” You have to admit: that is saying a lot for a man who never got respect for most of his lifetime.

Now, if you are interested, I would like to recommend to you all some of Rodney’s best work, so let me tell you what is available. Unfortunately for the UK, the DVD for BACK TO SCHOOL is only available on Region 1, though you can obtain a PAL/VHS copy from your local video shop and there many copies available at www.ebay.co.uk. In addition, Rodney’s autobiography came out just this summer, and I’m also going to list some comedy CDs and other films here. Like I said, though, if you want premium Rodney Dangerfield, then BACK TO SCHOOL is as good as it gets.

1) “It’s Not Easy Bein’ Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs.” Hardback, HarperEntertainment. Amazon ISBN: 0066211077, Available for 13 pounds.

2) “Back to School.” DVD, Region 1, MGM Home Entertainment. Amazon ASIN: B0000A14TA, Available for only 7 pounds.

3) “Caddyshack.” DVD, Region 2, Warner Home Video. Amazon ASIN: B00004CYRC, Available for only 7 pounds.

4) “Little Nicky.” DVD, Region 2, New Line Home Video. Amazon ASIN: B000057SKD, Available for 16 pounds.

5) “No Respect LIVE!” CD, Import, Universal Music. Amazon ASIN: B00004STOW, Available for 7 pounds.

6) “What’s In A Name?” CD, Import, Universal Music. Amazon ASIN: B000002QTN, Available for 7 pounds.

7) “Rodney Dangerfield: Live in Concert: It’s Not Easy Bein’ Me.” PAL VHS. Amazon ASIN: B00008T25W, Available for 17 pounds.

8) “Animated and Talking Rodney Dangerfield.” Hand Crafted Toy, Gemmy Industries, Inc. Amazon ASIN: B00007FY4Y, SKN: 683828, Available for 15 pounds ($30).

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GREAT ZINGERS WORTH REPEATING
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1) “I liked your old wife better!” --- Burt Young “Oh, lay off Vanessa…she gives great headache!” --- RD

2) “You have no taste Thornton!” --- Adrienne Barbeau “You’re right: I married you, didn’t I?” --- RD

3) “Let’s talk about class for a minute, alright? Here is you and Giorgio in the guestroom…really classy! Here is you and Giorgio in the rumpus room…even more classy! But this picture here I just can’t figure out. Here is you, and here is Giorgio, but what’s with the midget over here???” --- RD

4) “Your alright officer, here is some money for the kids, alright.” --- Rodney Dangerfield “But I don’t have any kids!” --- Cop “Oh, really, well here get yourself some kids, take it all. And just remember: the best thing about kids is making them!!!” --- RD

5) “What is a widget?” --- RD “It’s a fictonal product, it doesn’t matter!” --- Paxton Whitehead “It doesn’t matter, lol, tell that to the bank!” --- RD

6) “Hey, I know you! You do those obnoxious commercials…You’re Tall and Fat!!!” --- Student “Yeah, well, you are short and ugly, give me my pen back!” --- RD

7) “What is an old timer like you doing hanging out with these kids?” --- M. Emmett Walsh “I’m, uh, looking for the fountain of middle age!” --- RD

8) “Me and my wife were doomed from the start. I’m an earth sign and she is a water sign: together we made mudd! And when she said ‘I do,’ I should have asked, ‘With who?’ --- RD

9) “Now the football players that I went to school with were rough. After they sacked the quarterback, they went after his family!” --- RD

10) “Hey, hey, hey, take it easy, will you? These kids were only in grade school at the time. And me: I’m not a fighter, I’m a lover!” --- RD “Well, I didn’t know you wanted to get involved in the discussion, Mr. Helper!” --- Sam Kinison

11) “Jason, I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again. I don’t care how rich or successful a man is; without an education he’s nothing!” --- RD (And he is right about that!)

12) "Great Actor: Marlon Brando. I tell you, he wasn't thin then, but he ballooned up nicely. I say pound for pound, our finest American actor!" --- RD

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TRIVIA AND FAREWELL
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1) Celebrated music composer Danny Elfman makes a cameo appearance at Thornton’s “Dead Man’s Party” at the dorm along with his 1980s band Oingo Boingo.

2) The producers actually wanted Jim Carrey to play Dr. Turgeson, though he was deemed too young; besides, back in the day, he was no match for Sam Kinison.

3) Thornton Melon’s party animal dormitory was born from the fantasies of actual students at the University of Wisconsin (which is one of several schools this movie was filmed at; the suite was complete with a hot tub, bandstand, giant video screen, and dozens of computers.

***I look forward to receiving all your comments and for those of you who were Rodney fans like me, if you want to include one of his famous zingers in your comment, that would be cool.***

Rodney Dangerfield R.I.P. --- You Always Got Respect From Me
November 22, 1921 --- October 5, 2004