Back in my school days, my best friend and the guy I used to have a crush on always talked about this Alan Partridge fella. Who was he and why did he have so many weird one-liners? I asked my mum what Alan Partridge was and was told that he was a not-so-funny guy who tried to be funny.

About 4 years later, I met Phil. Him and his friends would always quote phrases from the show like:

Back of the Net!
In off the Red!
Textbook!
I love you… in a way.
Jackanakanory

… and the like. I finally got a chance to watch it and was pleasantly surprised, now I'm hooked!

____ How Did It All Start? ____

Alan Partridge is a 40 something year old man. A bit of a loser, he started his entertainment career on a Radio 4 program called On the Hour. As it was radio, no one listened, but he was offered another job, BBC 2's The Day Today. He then hosted his chat show 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' whereby he interviewed various guests and pretty much insulted every single one. Very cringeworthy television! Alan was then denied a second series which is well documented in the first series of I'm Alan Partridge. After offering suggestions for new shows (Monkey Tennis, Arm Wrestling with Chaz and Dave, Inner City Sumo) he steals some cheese and runs to his car with his ever faithful PA Lynne. Alan subsequently has a breakdown and drives to Dundee in his bear feet whilst scoffing on Toblerone. This breakdown was followed in the second series of I'm Alan Partridge.

____ Cast and Crew ____

The regulars throughout the series are…

Alan Partridge
… Steve Coogan (Around the World in 18 Days, Cock and Bull Story)

Lynne Benfield
… Felicity Montagu (Confetti, Bridget Jones' Diary)

Sonja
… Amelia Bulmore (Stuck on You)

Michael
… Simon Greenall (Wimbledon, Tomb Raider II)

Some other members of the cast are…

Dan Moody
… Stephen Mangan (Green Wing, Confetti, Billy Elliot)

Tex (Text?)
… Peter Serafinowicz (Shaun of the Dead, Little Britain)

Phil Wiley
… Ian Pulestone-Davis (Revolver, Hustle)

____ Characters ____

Alan - as explained above, he is a bit of a loser, always insults his friends and is just saaad!

Lynne - Alan's ever faithful PA. She works day and night for him and gets £8k a year. She is very mild mannered and meek and never has a bad thing to say about Alan, despite his downfalls. In this series, she meets a man from her Baptist church, an ex-plod who threatens Alan numerous times. It's brilliant!

Michael - formerly a hotel porter and busboy in the first series, he now works in a BP garage. He's from Newcastle-like and has a very heavy accent. Michael is Alan's best friend and he feels that Michael should view him as his best friend too, but how do thinks turn out when Tex, another friend of Michael's turns up? Michael is a hilarious character, scarred by being in the Army when we was younger and seeing the lady boys he is a very troubled man!

Sonja - Alan's crazy Ukrainian girlfriend. She's 10 years younger than Alan and works in a coffee shop. She loves to put his face on household objects, such as pillows and mugs and eats chicken guts. She's a great character and makes Alan's life just that little bit more surreal.

____ Episode guide ____

Episode 1… The Talented Mr. Partridge (the intro credits finish with alan eating a pasty whilst saing 'see ya later')

Hot Topic - Who is the Best Lord? In this episode we learn that Alan is living in a static caravan. He travels over to the BP garage and here we meet Michael. Flavia frothy cappuccinos are all the rage and 'kettles are saaaad!' Alan meets his old teacher Frank 'Sweaty' Raphael whilst covering for Michael who is on a re-supply mission. After bribing Frank Alan gives a talk at his old school about, well, himself really seeing as he's bounced back so well.

Alan then heads over to Choristers, an exclusive club that has a zero tolerance policy on denim. He is meeting Siobhan to make a deal with Meteor Video to make a sequel to 'Crash! Bang! Wallop! What a Video!' Meteor also produce sleazy films such as "Boob Olympics, The Eurovision Thong Contest, and Wet Christmas" and don't do watersports. He ruins the deal and Siobhan walks out of the building. Following her in his car he crashes into a bollard thus giving Lynne 'minor women's whiplash'. At the school Alan bumps into old classmate Phil Wiley, the guy who used to bully him. We learn what caused Frank to cane Alan and what Phil did in the dark room with the lab assistant. It ends up in the BP garage with a 'mouse' drawn on Phil's back and a burnt mouth.

____

Alan [to the builders]: See the match last night?
Builder: Which one?
Alan: Dunno

Alan: I was repellent to women for two years, I had breasts… imagine dreaming about that every night and then waking up screaming, cos that's what happened!

Alan [to Lynne and Sonja]: Guess which one of you two ladies I'm gonna make love to now?

____

Episode 2… The Colour of Alan (the intro credits finish with Alan holding a mug saying 'how can ya set fire to ya hands?)

Alan's Funny Stories with Roy from Bungey. Alan annoys the builders in his house by putting on stupid accents. Alan has been asked to host a sales conference for 'Dante's of Reading' a fireplace company. Someone has stolen Michael's front door so Alan lets him stay in his house til they put it back on. Alan meets with Dante's Piet Morant to discuss the conference. Alan has obviously lied about his company Apace Communications's set up and they head over to his house after a pub lunch for an hour.

After managing to get the pitch as its too late to book anyone else he books the meeting at Choristers. Alan realises he's left his security card in a Geordies hand, he attempts to climb over the wrought iron fence at Choristers. He pierces his foot on the spikes. He is determined to do the conference despite losing about 2 pints of blood and vomiting violently. He releases the mini Pink Floyd concert affect and heads to hospital.

____

Alan: I actually booked the room under the name The Real IRA, didn't bat an eyelid! [Opens the door of the room and we see about 5 policemen] I'll just go tell them it's me.

Alan [after seeing Desert Storm, Michael's bicycle]: Mary Poppins, what is that?!

Alan: Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Back Stabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway

____

Episode 3… Brave Alan (the intro credits finish with Alan picking out a dead daddy longlegs from his mug of tea. 'I'm still drinking it!')

Hot Topic - How would you like to be disposed of when you're dead? While at the BP Garage Alan meets his new best friend, Dan Moody. Dan owns Kitchen Planet a huge kitchen warehouse. Alan and Dan both like the Daily Mail, drink Directors Bitter, use Lynx deodorant and drive Lexi (plural for Lexus), the Japanese Mercedes. Lyne tells Alan about her night with ex-policeman Gordon and he assumes he's a con man. Thanks to Dan, Alan is asked to present a prize at the Norfolk Bravery award and meets Karen Colman of Coleman's mustard.

Lynne is out with her new boyfriend and Michael is acting suspiciously, so after a cup of beans and sausage Alan goes to Dan and his wife's big house. Dan's wife is very forward and her hand gets within 30mil from Alan's 'gland' and then her little finger touches it! Lynne arrives with the kitchen designs and Dan puts on a video of him and his wife having sex on a kitchen surface. Dan's face in this episode is disgustingly sleazy!

____

Alan [to Dave Clifton]: …it's gotta be the worth of boast worlds!

Alan [doing up his trousers]: Sonja that was classic intercourse! So, eh, so thanks! I'll just pop the extractor fan on.

Alan [shouting across the car park]: Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! No, he's not seen me; I'll get him later. DAAAAN!

Lynne: No thanks, I don't want to be part of your sex festival.

____

Episode 4… Never Say Alan Again (the intro credits finish with Alan gravely saying 'When they found him he still has the remote control in his hand.')

Which celebrity would you like to spend the Bank Holiday with and what would you do? Alan plans a bank holiday weekend with Michael, they plan to watch every single James Bond film back to back. At the BP garage Alan learns that Michael has other friends. One of them, 'Tex' (Terry) likes American stuff and calls his lorry Convoy. Michael, no longer welcome at Alan's Bond-fest, plans to spend the weekend with Tex at the Truck Fest featuring David Sole. Alan becomes friends with John the Builder. He returns to the caravan to work up a Bond schedule with Sonja and takes Lynne to the graveyard so she can mourn the first anniversary of her mothers' death.

Lynne's ex-copper boyfriend Gordon has words with Alan. He forces Alan to treat Lynne better. When Lynn spills two jugs of Sunny Delight on his complete Bond collection Alan is very polite and takes all his anger out on a cereal box making him a 'cereal killer'. Michael and Alan make friends again and settle down with Lynne and Gordon, John, Michael and Tex and Sonja.

____

Alan [to Sonja]: You could be a Bond femme fatale with your broken English. You're sexy but I don't trust you!

Alan: With respects as an ex police officer, if you hang around with criminals you're gonna get lied to!

Gordon: Do you suppose you'll be prone to temptation, like Adam?
Alan: I think I'd be more preoccupied by the fact I was encountering a talking snake. I think whether I wanted an apple or not would be a side issue. Even if it wasn't a talking snake even if it just rolled an apple towards me and sorta went [nods head towards imaginary apple] I think it would still be trouble. After that I think I'd just em, pull some trunks on and sit down on the grass.

____

Episode 5… I Know What Alan Did Last Summer (the intro credits finish with Alan saying 'fat arms big beards and that's just the man, women!')

SuperTalk - Evil Dogs. Alan is being subjected to inspection by the Inland Revenue. Sonja keeps buying Alan toy London cabs, Beefeater Bears, toy London buses and even a well rendered Marble Arch cake. He helps Sonja with her presentation of the Full English after taking some notes and tells her that sausage should be used as a breakwater between eggs and beans. He's also lied to Sonja and told her he's very good friends with Bono. Alan is close to a decision on naming his new house, choosing between 'Lord House' and 'The Cinnamons'.

Alan is afraid that he's going down with the tax people. He submitted a receipt for a dressing gown which was a present from Bill Oddie. And if he's going down, Lynne's going with him. The tax people turn up and he 'lets off' in their faces. Sonja and Alan have an argument and she storms out, leaving Alan with the problem of getting a British girlfriend.

To resolve the argument earlier Alan agrees to introduce Sonja to Bono. Hilarious results with a friend from church and a pair of cataract glasses. The episode ends with a receipt spike plunging into a bear's thorax.

____

Alan: I'd have that three times a day if I could but, eh, I'd be dead!

Sonja: I have another present, it's a London love taxi. I have put my heart in back of taxi and tell driver to drive to you.
Alan: Ahh, don't know what your talking about!

Alan: Tomorrow is your day, we can do whatever you like, anything you want.
Sonja: I want to go to London!
Alan [thought gritted teeth]: That's fine!

____

Episode 6… Alan Wide Shut (the intro credits finish with Alan saying 'Tom Spockley? When?)

Hot Topic: What people will look like in a billion years time. 14,000 copies of Alan's book Bouncing Back haven't been sold even at the reduced price. They have to be pulped. He's upset about this and even more so when people only seem to want to read about East End Gangsters, especially one called 'Bad Slags'. He bids farewell to the builders. Michael drives to Cardiff and has full sex with a 60 year old and Lynne is getting baptized.

Alan is a guest on Tessa's radio show Prayer Wave. He stars along with a posh lady called Kate Fitzgerald who has also published a book. She points out that there seems to be a lot of unsettled hostility in Alan's book; obvious as the phrase '...needless to say, I had the last laugh' was used at the end of every anecdote. An argument ensues and Kate walks out of the studio, reminiscent of Alan's previous shows. Alan ends the show by visiting the industrial plant where Bouncing Back is to be pulped.

____

Michael: I bet you never thought you could make toast in the microwave!
Alan: That's not toast Michael, that's hot floppy bread.

Tessa: I expect the title of your book was an ironic one because you haven't bounced back, have you?

Alan [to Tara]: Have you ever shaved your crackling?

Tara: You really have got a lot of issues.
Alan: Yeah, of What Car magazine.

____ What I Think ____

The Talentd Mr Alan: This is a really good opening episode and we see Alan Partridge in all his glory. The way he is so rude to his old teacher and shockingly honest to the pupils is classic Alan. I'd say nearly all the one liners I use are from this episode. Once you watch this one, you'll be hooked.

The Colour of Alan: This episode is good, but not the best. Alan is up to his usual tricks again, he insults Peit by asking where about in Birmingham he's from when he's actually from South Africa. The foot scenes are hilarious and I even started to feel sorry for him a little… not much though! When he tells Lynne she couldn't present a cat is my favourite line.

Bravealan: This shot Steve Mangan to fame, in our eyes anyway. Dan is so sleazy and gross it makes you feel a little pleasantly uncomfortable! And the way Alan handles it is even funnier. When presenting the award to Susan Cresswell he really puts his foot in it, and the conversation about the shape of Norwich isn't to be missed. My favourite of them all.

Never say Alan Again: I don't really like this episode. To me it's a little slow and has no real point to it. Tex's character is a little pointless and doesn't really fit in well. The only thing I like about this is Alan's conversation with Gordon. Gordon bullies Alan in this and its funny to see him look so worried. He so scared he even pays John to protect him! Hilarious.

I Know What Alan Did Last Summer: This is quite a funny episode. Alan gets so nervous and squirmy around the tax inspectors and offers then a variety of things, a chicken drumstick, a Marble Arch cake, a beefeater bear with bean juice on it to name a few. The 'Bono' storyline is funny and well played out.

Alan Wide Shut: The last episode and a classic. Saying goodbye to the builders and his book you really feel for Alan. He still manages to insult about 50 Baptists and Tara in true Alan style. There are some good one liners in this episode too.

____ DVD Features ____

The menu is Alan dancing around his caravan playing air guitar. It's brilliant!

Disk One features the episodes and has a play all function along with episode and scene selection.

Disk Two features:

Anglian Lives: Alan Partridge, a spoof TV docu-interview with Alan Partridge. It's very well presented and shot it could almost be real. We learn his middle name is Gordon. We learn about his early presenting jobs and it shows some old footage from Knowing Me, Knowing You and why it was cancelled (he shot a guest, literally). Bouncing back originally cost £14.99. He was a sports commentator for gold and tobogganing. Everything about this feature shouts reality, from the awkward silences and screen captions to the ever supportive, ever inquisitive presenter.

Anglian Lives also has add-ons previously unseen which are quite funny: an interview with a lady that likes hawking, Alan clearing his throat before the show, Mary (the regular caller) saying 'bye' and sobbing into the phone then saying she forgives him and that he's won anyway and many more.

Add On Alan: Short deleted scenes which include his explanation as to why he included the receipt for the dressing gown to the tax people, doing a London accent in front of John, the whereabouts of the mug with Alan's face on one side and a cat on the other, and many more. They are really funny, it's a shame they weren't included in the episodes.

Unused Alan: 10 minutes of additional material, similar to the Add Ons

OptionAlan: Just subtitles really.

Alan Aid: Features of the 1999 and 2001 Comic Relief efforts. These are really funny and well thought out sketches.

Audio and Still Alan: This features jingles and photos of our man, Alan Partridge.

____ Where Can I Buy It From ____

This DVD set can be purchased in all good DVD stores, can be rented from Blockbuster and ScreenSelect and can be purchased over the Internet from play.com and amazon.co.uk.

Hope you enjoyed the review xx