Airplane! (DVD)

Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.

In all my days I have never seen a film which has given me so many consistent asthma attacks. 'Airplane!' is, quite simply, the funniest film ever made, I honestly cannot think of a better film. Let me tell you a little story. The first time I saw this film it was on the recommendation of ...
...watch it one afternoon. I wasn't prepared for the hysterical laughter, tears and coughing fits that were to come. My laughter while watching this film was intense, loud and demented, I am surprised the neighbours didn't come around to check up on me to make sure I was okay (which is precisely the kind of thing my neighbour would do, she has developed these razor-sharp knuckles that she uses to rap on the window so darn hard you think the world's ... more

Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.

In all my days I have never seen a film which has given me so many consistent asthma attacks. 'Airplane!' is, quite simply, the funniest film ever made, I honestly cannot think of a better film. Let me tell you a little story. The first time I saw this film it was on the recommendation of my mother, and me and mother dearest sat down to watch it one afternoon. I wasn't prepared for the hysterical laughter, tears and coughing fits that were to come. My laughter while watching this film was intense, loud and demented, I am surprised the neighbours didn't come around to check up on me to make sure I was okay (which is precisely the kind of thing my neighbour would do, she has developed these razor-sharp knuckles that she uses to rap on the window so darn hard you think the world's about to end). Before I start to majorly digress and tell you stories about my neighbour (there aren't many, she's a quiet sort of lady, she lets her knuckles do the talking for her), I should probably get along and tell you about the film itself. This film is perfect from beginning to end, an absolutely incredibly piece of film-making and one of the funniest films of all time. It can warm even the hardest of hearts and leave you with a smile on your face and your food all down your lap and your chest tightly contracting from breathing difficulties. My neighbour and her knuckles would probably love it as well.

The basic premise of 'Airplane' is that it is a spoof of the disaster movies which cinema was deluged with in the 1970's, typically starring the likes of Lloyd Bridges or Leslie Nielson, in which a building would burn down ('Towering Inferno') or aeroplanes would land up in grave danger ('Airport'), where if something could possibly go wrong, then it would. Imagine how unfortunate it would be if 'Airport' and 'Towering Inferno' were real and you lived through both of them? You'd be afraid to go out of the house one would imagine. It'd probably scare my neighbour to death and her razor-sharp knuckles would go all blunted. Hmmm, curious. These films typically had a stoic leading man who would save the day and an ensemble cast ready to be butchered by the worst nature had to throw at them.

So, cue 'Airplane!', a 1980 film which deconstructs all of the above, totally tearing the disaster genre to pieces and poking fun of the melodramatic and 'sense of impending doom' that these kind of films had. The basic plotline is as follows: The crew and passengers of an airplane get struck with a mystery virus that renders them sick. The only man who can fly the plane is retired Air Force plot Ted Striker (played by the wonderful Robert Hays, who plays it straight down-the-line, never cracking a smile), who has had a pathological fear of flying ever since his days in the war. The stewardess of the plane is Elaine Dickinson (magnificently played by Julie Hagerty), an old flame of Ted's from way back when, must help him land the plane before they run out of time and KAABOOOOOOM it's the end for everybody on board. Kind of. Also featuring are Leslie Nielson as Dr. Rumack, the world's most ineffective doctor and Lloyd Bridges as alcoholic ground controller Steven McCroskey. The cast is littered with supporting players who are superb to a man (that reads funny - I wonder where that saying 'to a man' comes from... superb to a man, as though they act superb to a man, MAN: "I say you have treated me superbly" Hmmmm, curious....). The ensemle cast give stellar performances (there, that sounds better, I love the word stellar, makes me think of lights) and there are some hilarious moments of hilarity along the hilarious way. Among the supporting cast is basketballer Kareem Abdul Jabbar, a pilot who refuses to believe he is basketballer Kareem Abdul Jabbar. Class.

Credit should be given to the cast, who are unbelievable. Casting Hagerty and Hays as the two leads was a bold move as both were unknowns before the release of the film but both play their parts with ease, looking extremely comfortable in their roles. The chemistry between the two is startling, I can't think of many better double acts in any other comedy films. Hagerty's character plays upon the cheesy, naff melodrama of the films of this era, her 'perils of Pauline' routine expertly portrayed. Hays is given some of the wackiest, most absurd lines in film and he keeps a straight face, totally deadpan, throughout and that's what is funny. He is the ideal straight man, when all is falling apart around him, he maintains a stoic air around him. The same can be said for Nielson, who has got this kind of role down to a fine art with 'Police Squad' and the 'Naked Gun' films, all of which follow the same premise of nothing being too extreme, keeping a straight face while chaos unfolds around you in the most stupid, absurd ways and of taking dialogue at face value, such as the quote which has opened the op. The scripting here is truly perfect, not a bad word can be said about it. Take for example, this little nugget:

"How long till we land?"
"I can't tell"
"You can tell me, I'm a doctor"
"I mean, I don't know"
"Can't you take a guess?"
"Not for another two hours"
"You can't take a guess for another two hours?"
"No, we can't land for another two hours"

And all this delivered with a straight face, sheer genius on the part of the writers and the actors. I can't resist another example:

Dr. Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.

Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?

Dr. Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

Quality.

One of the best things about the film is that it would leave no stone unturned in the search for a gag. Everything and everyone gets targetted by writers/directors Jim Abrahams, David Zucker and Jerry Zucker. None of that politically correct nonsense, no way! We see all sorts of religions mocked (especially the Hare Krishna's, who get a real raw deal), black men 'jive talking' with the captions translating what they are saying, a girl with a terminal illness fit when a singing nun knocks out her intravenous tube with her guitar and all sorts of films from the 70's that have entered public consciousness being deconstructed and spoofed. It would be fair to say that a film like this just wouldn't be made today, at least not to the same degree of quality to which 'Airplane' reaches. There is not a moment in this film where you won't find yourself laughing, the writers hit you with gag after gag after gag after gag, wearing down your defences until you think you can laugh no more. You really cannot miss a moment of the film because in the minute you are away there is guaranteed to have been at least five gags. And funny ones at that. Spoof films nowadays are rarely of the quality of 'Airplane', and this is probably because 'Airplane' pushed the boundaries so far back, making the humour so absolutely absurd and nonsensical that 'spoofing' afterwards would fail somewhat dismally. Mel Brookes may have got there first with 'Blazing Saddles' et al but 'Airplane' was the zenith of the genre. Spoof films these days all too often resort to crude jokes and lewdness to get laughs, this isn't the case with 'Airplane', which is pretty much good fun for all the family.

The ideas here are just so fresh and original yet so obvious, the gags can be telegraphed from a mile away but their impact is still startling. The film has not aged one bit in the twenty-three years since its release and is still as fresh and fantastic as it was back when it was first released (though I cannot comment on how fresh it must have appeared in the years 1980-1983, having not entered the world at that point). Critics would argue that the film appeals to the lowest common denominator, that it is obvious humour and lacking in intelligence. These people, evidently, lack souls.

The funniest scene for me was the flashback to the 70's disco, which rips all the clichés of 'Saturday Night Fever' to pieces and is simply some of the funniest scenes you will ever see in all your days. It was at this point that my mother started to worry about my health (and probably my sanity). This film can be watched over and over and over again (it can, believe me, I have tried) and you will never fail to find it funny. Check it out.

**QUOTES TAKES FROM IMDB.COM TO HELP ME JOG MY MEMORY**

What the heck, I'll throw in one more...

"Nervous?"
"A little."
"First time?"
"No, I've been nervous lots of times." 

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