Adrenalin > Reviews > Possibly The Worst Movie Ever Made

Author's product rating:   

Did you enjoy it?	Hated it
Story	Very weak
Characters / Performances	Weak
Special Effects	Weak
Soundtrack	Weak

Advantages:	see review
Disadvantages:	see review

Recommend to potential buyers:

no

Full review

If I said to you that this movie stars Christopher Lambert then you should already have a pretty good idea what to expect from it. Lambert seems to be the kind of actor you hire when you need a dodgy accented action hero and can not afford the budget or attract the interest of someone like Stallone or Schwarzennegar, nor do you need the high kicking dodgy accent of a Van Damne or the spoon face of a Stephen Seagal. You hire Lambert when you know that your movie is ummm...cr*p....but you think you might be able to attract a few Highlander nuts who for some reason follow this guy around everywhere still despite his constant appearance in naff B-movie action flicks. Well...he's back again and guess what? He is a naff B-movie action flick....

Adrenalin is...

a) Spelt incorrectly
b) A movie which stars an actor so wooden that he makes Chuck Norris and Stephen Seagal seem like Hollywood Gods.
c) 75 merciful minutes long
d) From the director who gave us "Brainsmasher...A Love Story"
e) A movie which hits my cr*ppest of all time list.
f) what f?
g) PANTS!!!

I am almost loathe to submit a review of this movie just in case it tempts someone into checking it out just to see quite how bad it is, but it didn't have any reviews so far here so let me be the first to offer you fair warning. Adrenalin is quite simply one of the worst sci-fi horror movies you are ever likely to stumble across. It surpasses anything which even its abysmal director or leading star have ever done before and with their back catalogue that is certainly saying something. It is one of those movies which sets you in a post-apocalyptic future(aarrghh!!!) this time we are in Boston and the year is 2007(6 years and it'll be out of date - great forethought there). A radiation leak from Russia has created a contamination which spreads like the plague. It infects anyone who comes into contact with it and is running rife throughout Europe. The US was safe for a while and then immigrants brought it over there and now in order to try to contain the disease the US government has set up large containment camps - which are now larger than cities and have their own governments, police forces etc...very speedily done all this obviously. Anyway...the real story is that there isa mutant escaped and the mutant control division(or whatever they are called) is hot on its homicidal tale. The chase(which comprises the WHOLE movie) takes place in dark sewer, corridors, alleyways etc...as long as it is dank, dark and can cover up the weak effects. They chase, no tension gets built and the movie lurches to a mercifully quick conclusion.

I am at a loss about where to begin with a critical analysis of a movie which is quite simply this BAD. If I said it was a Slovakian production and was filmed there, then perhaps you could get some idea of what precisely may be wrong with the whole thing. That said, a director with a modiucum of talent...or even you or I...could have produced something which at least gave some form of credibility to its name. Not Albert Pyun though...he gave us "Adrenalin(e?): Fear The Rush". He gives us a movie which has an extremely worn plot, a non-existent script, a non-existent plot which is full of the most enormous holes and inconsistencies that to list them would take a week, chase scenes which are NOT exciting, special effects which leave you with a psycho-killer more than a little remiscent of Quasimodo's less scary brother....I could go on but whats the point, just take it from me, think of it and it doesn't work here. If you are a fan of Christopher Lambert then...well firstly you scare me, but secondly trust me, even he gives a performance which he would be less than proud of. This isn't helped by the fact that all he does is grunt and look pained for the entire movie, but even so...not good even by his LOW stadards. Oh and by the way lads Natasha Henstridge may be in this movie but she keeps her kit firmly ON so you can forget that as being a redeeming feature...

I can't see the point in tearing this movie apart to be honest with you. If you are a fan of bad movies then you'll ove this one because it is truly awful, otherwise give it a miss. Everything is wrong with it, right down to such unbelievable balls-ups as Boston's police cars looking strangely Eastern European and with the word "Policia" emblazoned on them to people who were slaugheterd in one scene making an alive and kicking reappearance in another as if nothing happened. What more can I say...watch it at your own risk but you have been warned.