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Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang
Review of The Gauntlet (Wide Screen) by wampyrii

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...Bang! Well thats the plot dealt with. Want more info? Hmmm...well ok, let me try to think...Well we have a movie directed by and starring Clint Eastwood along with the woman in his life at the time Sandra Locke. Clint plays a washed up Phoenix cop who looks like he has been sleeping in the same clothes for about a month and who has a drink problem. He opens the door of his car and out pours a stream of bottles, cans etc. Of course, this means that ...
...witness across country to the courthouse in which she is to testify. This witness is Sandra Locke, a prostitute(why does clint always have his wives girlfriends etc. cast as hookers, or molested in some way...hmm) who has more intelligence in her handbag than our dumbass hero has in his whole body. Everyone is out to get them but dear old Clint's character can't see this...well not until the first preposterous action scene. Ths movie excells in presposterous ... Read review

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05.11.2001
Space Junk
Review of Space Cowboys (Wide Screen) by andycharger

Advantages: Good cast
Disadvantages: Poor plot

...film. Thats right. Its a space film. Made for the big screen but looking more at home on a "made for TV" film channel like Bravo or such like. What is it about? Well, I looked forward to this film as I love space and particularly manned space flight. Due to my interest, im normally the first to spot inconsistencies in the realism of these type of films. However, I was impressed with the start of the film where 2 of our stars are taking part in ...
...of the Russian and American space agencies is in danger after a Russian "weather satellite" armed to the back teeth with Nuclear warheads is about to crash out of orbit. The guidance system on the satellite is broken and needs fixing and it appears it is a stolen design in the 1970's from the Americans! Who Designed it? Clint.... Who needs to go and fix it? Clint.......Who is he taking with him? His old buddies who never got to go up! Special effects. ... Read review

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02.09.2002
What price Vengeance?
Review of The Patriot DVD by Elffriend

Advantages: Action-packed Adventure
Disadvantages: The Horrors of war

...their favourite male actor and the name Mel Gibson will crop up time and again. I'm as susceptible as any woman; the combination of his good looks, startlingly blue eyes and his acting talent makes him a favourite in my eyes. So it's no surprise that over the years I've probably seen every film he has made. My video collection houses about 50% of all his films, I dread the day when I finally have to go over to DVD because to replace each film would ...
...to the cinema is no longer a pleasure to me with cramped seating and long films with no intervals. The last film of his I saw at the cinema was "The Patriot", released in 2000, not one of his best films but certainly worth watching for reasons I will sum up later. Synopsis ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ The year is 1776 and the war for American Independence is well underway stirring up young people across the South to join up to the rebel cause. Benjamin ... Read review

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29.09.2005
Foxbat
Review of Firefox DVD by dadmancat

Advantages: Sanity offer a 28 day full refund
Disadvantages: Oh...everything

...fly after him in another Firefox and then they have a dogfight and then I don't really care any more.... Firefox is a turgid piece of crap. Totally without redeeming qualities. The story plods along steamrollering logic and development as it goes. Things just happen, and then something else happens, and it's all so very easy and without any tension. Every character is a 1 dimensional stereotype. Big bushy moustaches and lots of 'niets', or long ...
...special effects to show the Firefox aircraft tearing up the skies. But struggling with mattes and variable back projection, Dykstra's efforts are pretty poor. The Firefox is rendered as a smudgy, wobbly, black rectangle moving erratically over speeded up skyscapes. Eastwood provides no thrills with his Tesco value direction (it's not right, but it's okay) and the air sequences drag like a church service. Eastwood plays his role as Eastwood, all ... Read review

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16.04.2003
WARNING...Men Only
Review of Heartbreak Ridge DVD by wampyrii

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...by and starring Clint Eastwood Heartbreak Ridge is a movie which quite literally stinks of sweat, stale beer and testosterone. Its a movie whose case sits on the shelf wreathed in cigar smoke and threatens to offer you outside were you even to look sideways at it. Indeed, the only other movies who dare sit near it are other Eastwood movies, a couple of Stallones and a few Schwarzennegers....the Van Damnes ran and hid behind Mary Poppins' dress in ...
...it to such good effect. Heartbreak Ridge is a movie which comes straight out of the file marked "Generic Military B-Movie" but one which is done with such colourful characters and raw energy that you can't help but get sucked in if you like a good tough guy movie. It sets its stall out from the opening scene which introduces us to our 'hero' Tom "Gunney" Highway...a beer swilling washed up old has-been(or never-really-was) military bloke in a bar...who ... Read review

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28.12.2001


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